Works In Progress

Happiness Is...

2012-01-25T16:55:00.001-08:00

Always having chapstick and hand lotion available when I need it.

Trying new recipes. Specifically twice baked sweet potatoes and anything dipped in melted chocolate like bananas and marshmallows.

Having the laundry caught up.

Collages created by sixth graders.

Giggles from my girls.

Wilder learning how to read.

My iphone.

Laughing with Blake.

Watching Maggie, Roy, Lucy, and Hazel.

Reading a few pages in a book.

Making new friends.

Standing in my yard and embracing real quiet.

Starting a piece of artwork.

Finishing a piece of artwork. (working on it)

Finally getting in bed.

Waking up for coffee.

Happy New Year

2012-01-03T20:15:00.000-08:00

This new year my plate is full yet so are my blessings. My prayer...Lord, please help me use my time and energy most efficiently towards physical and spiritual growth for myself and my family. (I am so good at long sentences). And rest too. This prayer comes to mind, seems very applicable. I've always liked it.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

For personal goals I would like to spend a little time painting at school and make time to read books that inspire me...before my brain turns into marshmallows.

A few of my favorite pics from the last few weeks. Maggie, the hound, and Lucy our second beagle are the newest additions to our family! I love these ladies!

How old is daddy?

2011-12-13T18:47:00.000-08:00

Seems like moving has taken over our lives the past few weeks. We are tired, grateful, overwhelmed and in love with our hew house! I promise I'll get photos up eventually but for now, sharing some cuteness. We celebrated Blake's birthday on the 5th, here's a conversation with the kiddos while decorating Blake's cake.

Closing Day

2011-11-30T08:50:00.000-08:00

Today is closing day! There is so much to tell...show. Pics of the new house coming soon!

Gwyneth's Fourth Birthday

2011-10-23T15:38:00.003-07:00

DecorationsGetting Crafty
Friends
Cake!
Sisters!
Proud
Blake said this photo looked like a "Shelly party"...what does that mean?Birthday Girl

Our last party in our house!

Gwyneth's Third Birthday

2011-10-23T15:38:00.001-07:00

Love these faces.

2011-09-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

2011-09-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

Full

2011-08-12T19:40:00.000-07:00

[Artwork above was created by Gwyneth]

Tonight I am feeling full. Full of joy and contentment. I am thankful that I feel this way even with the busyness of school getting ready to start and all the changes that are coming our way. It's sort of like a little paradigm shift. I am feeling lighter. More able to let the small things go...to not worry as much. More capable of enjoying. Why? Maybe it's just growth. Maybe it's the fish oil I've been taking. The break from the heat. Maybe my new job in Owasso that I am going to love. The joy of creativity. The good Lord. All of it.

Ok, somebody please remind me of this post in about a month when I type my I'm-so-tired-I-can-barely-stand-it-post. Tired from getting up at 5am, teaching 6 classes full of about 30 sixth graders each, plus keeping my own 3 children alive. Wow! It's gonna be awesome people :) No really. It is.

Here are a few special moments from the past week or so.

Addy's first painting experience! Can you see the look of satisfaction and pride on her face?

My baby boy lost his first tooth. Freaked me out at first. We're pretty sure he swallowed it while eating a biscuit. He cried because he was worried he wouldn't get money from the tooth fairy if he didn't have his tooth. I told him she'd understand. Question, in the events that baby teeth are not swallowed, what am I supposed to do with them? Who has jar of their teeth in their closet? Creepy.

Three happy babies after I soaked them with the water hose one evening after a long day. Spontaneity can be so therapeutic.

Tonight I set the table with things I never get out. Grandmother's table cloth, my vintage garage sale dishes.

This one is random. Can someone please just write the perfect caption for this? Yes, that is a baby Jesus in the back seat.

A few things...

2011-07-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

...the kids learned on vacation:
1. French. Not really. There happened to be a large population of french speaking Canadian's staying at the condominiums where we stayed. Gwyneth overheard a teenage girl calling to her mother from the pool and ever since I've been "momma" pronounced mumah. Now Wilder's starting to say it.
2. Patience. 22 Hours each way in the car.
3. Girls talk too much. Poor Wilder, at one point he put his hands over his ears and yelled "quit saying so many words!" I had to explain to Gwyneth that boys have a daily word quota and that Wilder had already reached his for the day.
4. How much they love their home. A few days after we were in Florida Gwyneth got homesick for her room. She expressed it at bedtime by saying, through tears "My feelings are starting to hurt." Precious.
4. Endurance. We quickly learned that what looks like a short walk on the beach can be awfully tiring. One morning we walked the kids down the beach to the rocks by the port to watch the ships come in and out. On the way back you would have thought we had been walking through the Sahara for days. Oh the whining. Blake said it but I agreed it's good for them to suffer every once in a while. Builds character right?
5. The ocean is too salty (Wilder) and the sand is full of spider-like dried up seaweed that should not be walked on (Gwyneth).
6. The world is full of things to explore. I could have watched Addy play in the sand and water for hours. She embraced it with no fears. Even when she was tired she could not resist running her hands and feet through the sand and handing me each and every treasure.

...I learned on vacation (some I already knew):
1. Be grateful for family. Thank you Pat and Paula for letting us stay in your beautiful condo. It was wonderful.
1. How to play angry birds. I usually catch on to trends later than everyone else (facebook), this one not excluded. Pretty darn fun.
2. How to entertain a one year old. Forget all the scheming and planning toys to pack. Foolproof amusement can be found in endless amounts of peek a boo, putting things on your head, biting toes, and giving her anything she should really not be playing with like portable DVD player's (one that is now broken), silly puddy, and chocolate.
3. Time goes by way too fast. I looked forward to this trip for months only to be past it now, sadly.
4. Less is more. The best days that we had are the ones we just stayed at the beach and pool and didn't go anywhere.
5. I am healthier when I am relaxed. Of the few physical issues I have, I didn't have any the week we were at the ocean. No ibuprofen, no muscle relaxers for my jaw. I'm trying to prolong the vacation state of mind for as long as possible!
6. We can survive without TV. The TV in the condo did not work due to some bizarre electrical problem. Chance? I don't know, I enjoyed the quiet and time spent cuddling with the kids, coloring, reading, and playing games. Ok, by about the 5th day and all-kids-all-the-time Blake and I were ready for some TV lounging.
7. Our ocean paradise was just a place. No matter how much I pondered how to get two palm trees and a hammock home to my backyard, it doesn't compare to the permanent blessings I have within my family each day and the eternal paradise of heaven someday.

ocean

2011-07-24T14:11:00.000-07:00

mysterious

cleansing...healing

colors exist that can't be named

colors that are created when blue and green intersect

wonder

a life giving force pulling you in with every glance

won't you bring forth your treasures

Home

2011-07-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

Wish I had a better photo with all three of them looking at me! We made it back from our vacation today. 44 hours total in the car later. Reflections to come! If only I could have brought the cooler weather with me. Or the ocean.

Poor Baby

2011-06-22T19:47:00.001-07:00

Addy has a tooth brush fetish. She has her own white My Little Pony brush but she would prefer to chew on Gwyn's pink Dora brush. One of her favorite spots is hanging out at the bathroom sink on the step stool. Tonight Gwyn's toothbrush was within hand's reach. She climbed up, grabbed the brush, and was walking down the hall with it. I told her no and gave her brush to her. She did this a few times. I thought we had moved on and I was in my room. I turned to look and there she was standing, swim diaper only, with Gwyn's toothbrush in her mouth. She gave me the most mischievious grin and shook her head no. She shakes her head when she knows she's doing something she shouldn't. As I said no addy and started towards her she turned and sprinted as fast as her fat baby legs could move her. She was not giving up that pink toothbrush. When I caught her she face planted in defeat, screaming. Poor baby. Here's to just really wanting what you can't have.

Forget crayons, just buy her some body paint

2011-06-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

Of Wilder and Gwyneth, Gwyneth is not my artist. Meaning, she doesn't really have much of an attention span when it comes to coloring. Wilder can spend hours in a coloring book. However, today, she proved me wrong. While we were sitting in the car waiting for Blake in one of the hundreds of grocery stores we went in today I had a passing thought that Gwyn was being really quiet but didn't think much of it. When I got back into the car with the FP groceries Blake said "you have to look at your daughter's hands." I could have believed she was wearing purple gloves. I guess she found a purple marker in the back seat. I have never seen her do anything that thorough. It was just funny. I caught this picture after the first layer of purple washed off! She said tonight that she just felt like being messy.

Grocery Angst (a rambling story)

2011-06-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

I am totally breaking up with coupons. I don't know how people save enormous amounts of money with coupons. The Coupon Queen does it. She makes it look easy and makes you feel shameful for NOT using coupons. Being summer I figured since I had the time I would make a valiant effort to embrace couponing. I clipped, got my binder organized, printed coupons from the internet. So today, grocery day. The ads came in the mail, we checked bargains at all the major stores. Made a plan. Let's, for a change, not go to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart owns us. We normally shop at Wal-Mart because it's the only close store and you can comparison shop. I felt optimistic, maybe this time, things would be different and we would beat Wal-Mart by spending the same or less amount of money shopping somewhere else. We were wrong. Anyway, since we were not in hurry we decided to take the extra time to drive to South Tulsa. We decided to do the majority of our shopping at SuperTarget then hit Reasors, Food Pyramid, and Whole Foods for various items on sale. First, three kids no matter how you shake it is just stressful in a grocery store, even if there's two adults. Addy is in full monkey stage and the other two, well are just loud and busy. We ended up spending about the same amount at Target as we do at Wal-Mart but still lacking several items. Reasor's was ok, we just bought a few things that were on sale. Then we headed across town on Tulsa's terribly awful in-construction streets and finally made it to Whole Foods and FP. Blaked grabbed a Rotisserie chicken with a free side then I went into what I thought was going to be my saving grace, Food Pyramid. Now, I had never been into a FP until last Saturday. I was impressed with their natural and organic selection which motivated me to go online and print healthy coupons (like organic yogurt). The FP I went into Sat was a different one than the one I went into next to Whole Foods. The store, of course, was arranged entirely different than the other one, the few things I could not find I just didn't get because three kids and Blake were waiting in the car. I could have swore they had the type of yogurt I wanted and had printed several coupons for, but they didn't. I learned as I was walking in that they don't double coupons over 50cents. Boo. I was totally pumped that they had organic blueberries for $2. That was the main reason I wanted to go. Only 6oz for $2 - not the pints we're used to! I'm sure that was in the add but I'm still not blaming myself! ha. To make things worse I even bought things I forgot I had a coupon for and a few things that Blake had bought at Target that I didn't see him throw in the cart. So total fail. Just a long, hot, frustrating afternoon. Hey, but we did get milkshakes from Steak and Shake for all of us for a total of $5 with coupon and happy hour combo. Not bad! I just wanted to feel like I was getting a deal today but we ended up spending about $60 more than we usually do. Oh well.

Mind of a Child

2011-06-20T19:29:00.001-07:00

Gwyn, after the subject of heaven came up in our bedtime prayers: I don't want to go to heaven (almost crying).
Me: We'll all be there together, it will be fun.
Gwyn: But I don't want to go to heaven.
Me: Is it because you don't want to leave our house?
Gwyn: Yes
Me: Well, you'll have a new house in heaven or maybe ours will be there. Would you like that?
Gwyn: Yes, but mom (with great concern), our house is too heavy.
Me: Well Gwyn, don't you worry. God can do anything.

As I turned out the lights I could see the wheels turning. Dear God, please give Gwyneth sweet dreams about heaven so she'll look forward to someday being there. Amen.

June is...

2011-06-19T19:34:00.001-07:00

...morning runs
...metromint water, yummy
...lazy Sunday afternoons because I don't have to work Monday
...heavenly. Enjoyed reading about a 4 year old boy's account of his visit to heaven in Heaven is for Real
...enjoying my fixed up house...please sell, please
...summer evenings, my favorite
...short shorts
...celebrating 33 and 8 years of marriage
...confirmation of a new job in Owasso!

Livin Easy at the Lake

2011-06-19T19:10:00.000-07:00

Summer

2011-05-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

I can't believe summer is actually here and the school year is over. I know there are a lot of things I did right and equally wrong. Teaching is emotional, exhausting, rewarding, frustrating, fun. I cried happy tears from laughing, mad tears, and sad tears from saying good bye. I hope I made a wee bit of a difference. I will miss my students. (you know who you are). So, as you can see, we had a little fun the last two days of school. So much fun that I bought my custodian a gift card because I felt bad about the mess.

My summer to do list:
1. Have a clean, organized house. Not piles of laundry. Everywhere.
2. Sell our house!
3. Find a house.
4. Read. My list:
-Love & Logic
-Heaven is for Real
-My $1 bargain novel.
5. Discover the Word again. As a family we are going to memorize one verse a week.
6. Go on vacation to Florida.
7. Start my Etsy page
8. Find my flat (ok, less squishy) stomach under this one.
9. Eat healthier. Visit Farmer's Markets.
10. Sleep past 6:30. Ha, ha, just joking. I wish.
I better stop there. Relax.

Addy Jane is 1

2011-05-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

Happy first birthday Adalyn. You are more precious than we could have ever imagined! I keep thinking when I'm with you that you are way to smart to have just turned one. You understand so much. You are opposite of your sister - you are not shy. You are everywhere all the time. You climb everything. You get your feelings hurt when Wilder and Gwyn won't let you touch their toys. You are sensitive and cry when people yell. You love to play peek a boo. You still love to hang out in the middle of the night. You are a momma's girl. I'm not complaining, I want you to stay a baby forever.

Blessings

2011-04-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I feel deeply motivated to post tonight after so long. Probably because I feel so satisfied from day I spent with my kids. All I did today was clean house and spend time with my kids. That's all. Not a thought about school. It's 9pm on Sunday night and I don't have one single thing ready for getting myself and 3 kids out the door in the morning. (I like to torture myself). This day has been refreshing because school and all the busyness that comes with Spring has been so encompassing. Thank the good Lord that after this week I will be past the play we are performing in my drama class. Considering the fact that I had a girl fight on stage after our dress rehearsal on Friday would suggest what kind of road it's been. Funny, one of our custodians was in the auditorium during the fight and asked me after if it was part of our play. Ahh, comedy. Ok, back to what I really wanted to post this evening, just some favorite things from today.

I love how much Wilder loves to make art. He stayed home with me this morning from church because he's not feeling very good. He made a whole stack of creations that I hung in his room. 4 year old art has to be one of my favorite things. Pics to come.

Wilder told me today he was too sick to clean up the mess he made after his articat time (arts and crafts, a word he told me he learned in school the first day). I told him I was smarter than he was and that wasn't going to work. We then went on to argue who was the smartest. A close tie, he can already add, subtract, and understands the earth's rotation patterns.

Addy's second word after mommy is dog. Pronounced gog. It's so cute, she gets so excited when she says it. I think she might have also said mo for elmo today. What makes this red monster so adored by so many? I don't know but I think she needs a stuffed elmo.

Addy has this adorable look she gives when she knows she's doing something she shouldn't be doing. Then proceeds on doing it. Today I barely caught her from being entirely perched in Gwyn's window seal like the cat. She is not afraid of anything.

Addy has been giving little love pats when you hold her now. I love how she pats me on the back. She is also so proud of herself after she takes a few steps. Just a few more days and I'm sure no more crawling.

I bought Gwyn and Adalyn matching sparkly flip flops today. Ok, so I did go to Target. Is there anything cuter than baby feet in flip flops?

Gwyn. Gwyn is a 25 year old woman in a 3 year old body. Her room has now become her house. She loves for us to knock so she can answer the door. Today I checked on her and she was sitting, in her dress, with her purse, legs crossed in her elmo chair reading a princess book. She changes clothes about 3 times a day. Ok, unlike a woman she does not like boys. She told me the only boys she likes are grandpa, pappy, and Wilder. She is going through a serious shy phase right now. She doesn't play with anyone at school. She just watches. I ask her about school and the only thing she tells me is "I took a nap then ate a sucker...and watched my friends play." It makes me so sad! It doesn't seem to bother her though. She seems to take the world in at her own pace which is perfectly fine with me.

80 degrees, I will miss you tomorrow. Have a good week everyone. Night night!

2011-02-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

I was pleasantly surprised a few days ago by this unexpected splash of color I found hiding by my bedroom window. It is my grandmother's Begonia. Here's to little bits of color and joy...warmer weather is on the horizon!

Top 11 Things about Blizzard 2011 (in no particular order)

2011-02-06T14:03:00.000-08:00

1. 3 days without makeup
2. Clean house!
3. Exercise in the form of the Kinect and carrying Gwyn on my back in the snow.
4. Taking Wilder and Gwyn sledding on a giant piece of cardboard.
5. Lots of episodes of Modern Family (and not feeling guilty for not doing something more productive.)
6. Lots and lots of time with the wee ones.
7. Pictures hung, photos printed and in frames.
8. Rearranged the kiddos rooms.
9. Watching the kids play with their dad in the snow through the kitchen window as I'm cooking.
10. Having a front row parking place at the movies because no one else was dumb enough to get out.
11. Time to update my blog...for all of you that check my blog every once in a while and are so tired of seeing the same things, I'm sorry!!
She is really sleeping in this photo. Prior to bed she had a serious meltdown about losing this balloon.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-21T18:42:00.001-08:00

Somebody's growing up

2010-11-27T18:25:00.000-08:00

Happy 6 month birthday to our "Addy Bell, Little Bit, J Bird, baby Addy." You are the sweetest, most good natured baby. (more so than your big brother and sister). Your joy is contagious. Now that you are a grown woman you decided it was time you started crawling, pulling up, and babbling mumma, and dada in the same week! We love you little one, but could you please slow down just a little for momma?

2010-11-08T18:42:00.000-08:00

Myself, Jolyn & Kaci. Lifetime friends. This weekend was Jolyn's baby shower. This was the first time we were together in two and a half years! Needless to say the time was sweet. Can you tell which little girl goes with which big girl!

Halloween treats and one trick

2010-10-31T19:07:00.000-07:00

Nothing better than a nose pickin' princess and Scooby with a forced peanut butter smile.

We brought home a little more than candy tonight. Apparently someone decided to dump this sweet kitten. Of all the hundreds of people out in our neighborhood tonight how did I end up taking this kitten? Must have been meant to be. She's pretty sweet. Names suggestions?

Gwyneth's Third Birthday

2010-10-30T19:30:00.001-07:00

2010-10-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

The night we got our Halloween decorations out of the attic. This cracks me up.

Simple Pleasures & More

2010-09-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

Today I had the pleasure of spending a little time garage-selling at a neighborhood wide sale-a-thon. In addition to finding things for the kids, I found a few treasures for me: retro dishes from which I plan to have cereal and coffee, a vintage ceramic owl (see pic), and a ceramic dove plant holder. I was thinking about a few of my collections that have unofficially evolved (to name a few): milk glass, even if it's fake I love it, ceramic doves, including a set of my grandmother's, & sewing things. This one is funny because I don't sew. Today I brought home my grandmother's sewing box from the garage sale. In it were zippers, patterns, ricrac, crochet things, string, buttons, old patterns, fabric and ribbon remnants. Oh the crafts that could come out of these little things. I will have time to make you some day. (I heart button rings!) For now, I am happy having this little pink box and all of it's wonderfully musty smelling contents on a shelf in my closet.

I often wander why I am so attracted to things from the past. I feel like I was born with a natural tendency to go backwards rather than forward like a normal person. Maybe it seems like a simpler time. Maybe a domestic lifestyle that I crave. Maybe I feel like I'm preserving something I don't want to be lost.

It is sort of ridiculous how many things of my grandmother's I have now in my home. I am missing her terribly today. My mom brought us all of the food from her pantry this week. Having her canned goods in my pantry is strangely comforting. Maybe if I cook with her food and use her bowls it will taste like her cooking, like her goulash I've never been able to make as well? There is another reason I'm missing her today. In her life there was a period in her life that she raised 4 children by herself. I've been thinking about this lately as I'm feeling extremely suffocated working with my three. And I'm married and have a wonderful husband. I can't imagine doing it on my own. Thinking about what she endured makes me want to keep on, or at least try to have a good attitude. I'm sad that she's not here to call when I'm really tired, just to hear her say it will get easier.

I need help being a better mom on Saturday. Today I was short with my kids too many times. Luckily they are quick to forgive me when I apologize. Just a little time right now not to be Mrs. Collins or mommy would be beneficial, I do believe.

Just one adorable thing about Adalyn: She has started sucking her thumb. Pretty darn cute.

My brother left Iraq today. Have a safe trip home brother.

I think maybe we have a ghost in our house. The floor has creaked three times since I've been writing this post.

Pandora, vanilla caramel tea (from grandmother's pantry), a dark room with the window open, some time to process, and a sleeping baby that I'm about to join. Good therapy.

2010-08-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

It's my party...

2010-08-14T18:04:00.000-07:00

I asked Blake tonight, are 4 year olds fragile or is our boy just fragile? He said a little of both but Wilder is just tenderhearted. I'm trying not to feel like the worst mom in the world because Wilder cried three times at his party! I was reassured that it's bound to happen and that it's a sign of a successful party. I planned some balloon games to play. I didn't think about how loud balloons are when they're popped. The first game all the kids had balloons tied around their ankles and the goal was to chase each other and pop somebody else's balloon without yours being popped. This was a hit until Wilder's balloon got popped and it broke his little heart. Then we played a game where the kids had to pop the balloons with their bottoms to get the candy out. The popping scared the bageebies out of Wilder. Funny how the babies didn't seem to care. Anyway, I felt bad. I just wanted him to have so much fun. Tonight at home I was telling Wilder I was sorry he was upset during the games. He told me to never play those games again, and to play games he liked like tag, and hide and seek. Duh, mom. Sigh.

The third time he cried was during the cutting of the cake. He did not want me to cut through his name. We barely had enough cake for everyone so I started to cut into it anyway. He went hysterical! So I managed to keep it. I guess he can eat it Monday on his actual birthday. I thought is was cute how he covered his ears when we sang to him. I think he was a little embarassed by all the attention.

Overall, think Wilder had a good day. He was so cute helping me get ready for the party. He helped with the cake and filled the treat bags. He was so thoughtful to put treats that he knew each person would like specifically.

Oh my sweet 4 year old. You are: smart, silly, thoughtful, specific, tender, creative, energetic, loving, stubborn, impatient...mine.

I love you Wilder Blake.

Grandmother

2010-08-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

i just miss her. so much. already.

there is nothing like losing a loved one to make you appreciate life. makes life feel really short. makes me want to be more open and honest with those close to me. of course there are things i wish i would have said to her. it doesn't seem possible that i was talking to her in her chair a week before she passed. i wanted to tell her thank you for loving me so well. for always making me feel special and valued. for how comforted i felt when i was with her. i wanted to tell her how beautiful i thought she was. even the last time i saw her, two days before she passed, her eyes were beautiful. the same eyes that stand out to me in her childhood photos.

a few things i will miss:
receiving cards with her handwriting in the mail.
being able to call her
hearing her say "now then" after she makes something better
everything about her house
her cooking
her hugs and kisses
her goody bags of whatever was on sale at the grocery store. usually a random assortment of things.

things that will remind me of her:
cantaloupe. a staple at her house.
the smell of noxema. i remember her rubbing it on our sunburns when we were at the lake together.

in addition to my husband she was the most selfless person i know. even two days before she passed she was trying to make arrangements for all those who were coming to visit her to have lunch. She was also signing birthday cards for the remainder of the year. she always made me want to be a better person. i hope people will be able to say the same about me.

now that she is gone i feel closer to God, Heaven, knowing she is there.

Just Stay Cool

2010-07-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

"Gwyn, open your eyes for me"

It's nice living only a few miles from a public swimming pool! Today we needed to get the kids out of the house - fast, so we headed up to Chandler Park. We had a good time despite the grossies that come with public swimming pools. Is there anything more gross than wet toilet paper?

How about my new main photo? This is what happens when you don't supervise the sprinkling of the sprinkles. I saw this idea in a magazine for watermelon cookies (the white stuff is yogurt). They may have been ok if the sprinkles plus the juice hadn't created cosmic goo. Oh well, this is the same magazine that convinced me that if I made Wilder and Gwyn a "reward jar" that they would pick up toys without me nagging them just so they could get more marbles in their jar to eventually earn a reward. Ahem, still waiting for that.

4 more weeks until school. I'm getting there. There meaning mentally in a place that if feels doable. Planning has begun. I'm trying to do everything I can to make it as easy as possible. I'm so thankful to have a job. It feels like God wanted me to have this job so with that I feel like everything will work out...if I let Him help me. That's the hard part for me.

Oh, Adalyn is in her 9th week now! She is so wonderful!

Happy I got a few new photos on the blog! More updates soon including photos of my latest rummage find!

How to prevent a sleepless night hangover...

2010-06-13T17:26:00.000-07:00

...on a day when you're by yourself with two toddlers and a newborn.
Preface. Adalyn is a good baby. She's pretty easy going, however, as most babies do, she has a fussy time. Hers happens to be from about 2-5am. It's a dark, ugly time of night for me. There have been a few nights I've felt miserable having no idea how I'll face the day, then after a couple hours of sleep between 4 and 6 a little part of me wakes up thinking "Ok, I can do this. I can get up and have a good attitude." Some mornings are easier than others. For those particularly difficult mornings here are a few sobering tips that helped me get over the hump and not be grumpy.

1. Make homemade blueberry pancakes for the very first time since your baby was born. (they're pretty regular at our house) Granted you will have to have enough patience for your 3 year old to help and probably have to wear the baby in your sling at some point. Once made, eat as many as you possibly can. Tell yourself it's ok and you need the calories because serving as an open-all-night-all-you-can-eat-milk-buffet is hard work.

2. Get outside. Walk the kids to the playground and get a high dosage of sun and laughter. Warning: the heat may seem a little overwhelming because of the added heat of the two warm milk jugs you're wearing under your shirt - don't let this keep you from having a good time. Maybe I can just sweat off some baby weight. The warm breezes seemed to be a natural sedative for Adalyn, so she was perfectly content in her stroller. I was really able to play and focus on Wilder and Gwyn, which has been difficult since Adalyn's been home. Wilder found this particularly refreshing I think. He said at one point, "we're having a nice day aren't we mommy" I think he was craving the interaction. Sidenote: What would you do if your 3 year old told you he had to poo-poo and couldn't hold it long enough to walk back to the house? Which is more disgusting, having him go in his pants or squat in the grass?

3. Smell and cuddle your baby. I don't think I'll ever get tired of feeling Adalyn's sweet face next to mine. And I mean really smell her. Put your nose right behind her ear and breath in deep that earthy, sweet, sour milk sort of smell. Ahhh

4. Bribe your kids with candy to stay in their beds for 30 minutes so you can get a power nap. The only way this one can be foolproof is if you tell your toddler that there is NO MORE CANDY. Otherwise, 10 minutes into your nap as you're dozing off you'll hear "mommy, I gotta ask you something" requesting more candy. Oh well, it was a good attempt!

5. Remember the simple fact that your new baby is a GIFT and you are blessed to be taking care of her. I would much rather be taking care of her in the middle of the night than NOT be taking care of her, right?

Favorites

2010-06-07T12:34:00.001-07:00

Today Blake and I are celebrating our 7 year anniversary. Ok, so not much happening in the way of actual celebrating. Anybody want to babysit two toddlers and a 3 week old? :) However, we do have a lot to be proud of and thankful for. I couldn't be happier and am so lucky to be married to such a wonderful husband and father. I love you honey, we have accomplished so much in our short 7 years, it hasn't always been easy but we are blessed beyond measure!

There is so much I want to say about Adalyn's birth, summer break, and becoming a family of 5, eventually. For now, here are a few of my favorite recent snapshots.

I think I'm in love, again.

2010-05-20T17:22:00.000-07:00

Adalyn Jane Collins was born at 2:02 on May 16th. I'm overwhelmed with love and adoration. Sad that I'm not pregnant anymore (and will never again be) and by the realization that Wilder and Gwyneth aren't babies anymore!

I like this job

2010-05-09T20:02:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day!

39 week belly

2010-05-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

Just so I won't forget!

2010-05-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

Taken at my baby shower. Me, mom, grandmother, and aunt Sheila.

Patiently Waiting

2010-05-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

So twelve more days until my due date. It's hard to beleive I've made it to a point that I'm actually prepared for this little baby to come. Folded, clean, newborn clothes, a clean house, nursing accessories, I even have a new boppy and fancy new bedding for our not so fancy crib! Two weeks ago I was dialated to a 3-4 and 70% effaced. This created a lot of histeria that I might go into labor anytime. So much that I had my party at work the next day instead of like 5 days later and lots of teachers and students asking "you're still here?" I did actually have a false labor shortly after that check that got us moving and our bags packed. Since then I've felt great, no contractions just a growing belly. So for my last appointment I decided to not have the doctor check me. I didn't want any false hope. So anytime you want to come little girl we're ready. I can't wait to see your little face. To see how you, the last piece to our family puzzle, will fit in.

How Many Funny Things Can You Find In The Above Photo?

2010-04-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

Welcome Spring

2010-04-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

and all that you bring!

Please Help

2010-03-22T19:22:00.001-07:00

I knew it might be a little bit of a challenge going back to work after a week home with the kids. Tonight at bedtime I told Wilder I had to go back to work tomorrow. What proceeded was me attempting to explain to a 3 year old why I had to go to work. "But we already have new clothes and a house and lots of money." Then, yes, he said it..."why don't you love me anymore?" I about cried. I'm curious what has worked for other working moms in helping little ones understand.

Spring Break

2010-03-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

Overall I think Spring Break was a success. Of course we didn't accomplish all that we imagined we would, but is that ever the case? We made a little room for baby with some Spring cleaning, spent tons of time with the kids, spent too much money on a trip to OKC, and recharged our batteries for the weeks ahead. The next 8 weeks are going to be crazy busy and stressful. But, as my friend Tasha so optimistically stated, after they're over we'll have a new baby girl to fall in love with and a teenage-free summer.

I thought I'd post this photo of Gwyn because she thought it was hilarious. She will NOT sit on the potty. She will simply say "I already did." However, pair a bare bottom and an empty bucket and she will ask you about 10 times to "take one more picture of me." Oh, my stubborn, sweet, soon-to-be-middle-child, how I love you. I just hope your little sister is like your brother.

I think they understand

2010-03-05T19:44:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation with Wilder and Gwyn tonight that was just too precious to risk forgetting. It was the most intense and lengthy conversation we've had yet about our new baby coming. I asked Wilder where our new baby was going to sleep when she got here. Of course he said his bed so he could love her. This then opened up a huge discussion of what we're going to do with the new baby when she gets here. We went through everything from bathing, feeding, to showing her all of his new toys. Gwyn chimed in now and then, I think she really understood. At one point they were both showing me how babies crawl so that they could teach her to crawl. The sweetest was when Wilder said we have to snuggle her on the couch and give her lots of hugs. I think I'm just dumbfounded at how smart Wilder is becoming lately. He understands so much now. His curiosity and sincerety never fail to make my heart be still just for a moment. I know he is going to be an incredible, loving, protective big brother who will love taking care of both of his little sisters.

30 weeks!

2010-03-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

Well the March issue of Tulsa Kids came out this week! Pretty fun to see our little family in print. Here's a link to the Tulsa Kids Website. There's a little photo of us and you can read the story. My friend Holly Wall wrote the story about VBAC's (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean, what I had with Gwyneth). Hopefully the story will be helpful and a few more women will realize that VBAC is an option!

I am 30 weeks today! I'm realizing it's time to start thinking and preparing to actually give birth to this baby. I ordered some books from the library to get myself inspired for natural childbirth once again. I'm confident and nervous!

I need losts of grace to get through the end of this school year. My tolerance level has been pretty low this week. Doesn't seem like there is much of a differnce between dealing with 14 and 15 year olds and coming home and dealing with my 2 and 3 year old! If I can just get past April 6th I think I'll survive. The 6th is the date for our school plays we're working on...you are all invited!

Come Spring come!

Sunday Evening

2010-02-21T19:32:00.000-08:00

A friend at church gave me this poem today. Written by a jewelry artist she loves. I think I loved it because I related to almost all of it!

I love my life.
I love what I do.
I am a Leo. (or a Gemini)

I am obsessive.
I am shy.
I am strength.

I love coffee.
I can't be without my designer boots. (or new retro New Balance tennis shoes)
I am at peace when I can hear the water and feel the wind.

I am socially awkward.
I love to observe.
I believe in balance, patience, and what lies ahead.
I recycle.

I work hard and give everything
to my family and career.
I love being a mommy.
I am learning as I go.

It has been a journey for me
and I am thankful for every tear
and every laugh.
My family and friends are beautiful.
My husband is my rock.
I am in love.

I create from the heart.
Sometimes it works and sometiems it doesn't.
I dedicate my line to the enormity of
(I may need to think how to adapt this last line specifically)

Other weekend highlights:
Weekend Highlights!
-My house is in much better shape than it was Friday night.
-Celebrated my mom's birthday at my grandmother's house. Hence, got to see my grandmother and the rest of the family.
-Spent some quality time painting, cutting, gluing, and playing with Wilder and Gwyn this afternoon.

Sweet

2010-02-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

Just had a great lunch with mom and dad. Wilder and Gwyn have enjoyed Valentine's Day. Wilder keeps saying "Happy New Year" instead. Of all holidays I guess New Years made a lasting impression! Mom made a super yummy cheesecake for Valentines Day. I, with no shame, asked for a second piece. Nobody else did. This sweet craving is getting out of control. Blake has been buying chocolate candy for our Sunday school class we're teaching. Needless to say he's had to rebuy some because of my candy habit. Last week I told him to hide the bag from me. I found it in Roy's dogfood tub. Gross. I didn't think the kids would appreciate smelly dog food candy so I exercised some self control and put it in the pantry.

We get another ultrasound tommorow. Maybe I can post some pictures of the baby and my quickly growing belly. A little discouraging to think I have three more months and my shirts are getting to small already.

Our fridge died this week. Because of it our house smells like rotten fish. I guess it stayed thawed out in the freezer too long and after scrubbing it, it still smells. On the night we threw out all the food and Blake headed for the grocery store I had to be a little creative on what to feed the kids for dinner. We made what I called "peanut butter cookie oatmeal". Not bad. Pb, sugar, butter, raisins, and oatmeal. Wilder also ate practically a whole avacado with it. Gwyn ate cheetos.

I don't know why but I have become much more relaxed about what goes into my kiddos and my body lately. During this whole pregnancy really. It seems less significant than in times past. Maybe I realize there's bigger things to worry about? We'll see how long it lasts.

I took Wilder and Gwyn to the museum yesterday for free second saturday. I love this program. The kids had a great time and really enjoy the activities. Yesterday they made paper mobiles which they drug over the whole museum and outside garden. I had to staple them about 100 times back together last night. Each time you go they give the kiddos a free art supply. We got watercolor markers yesterday that we haven't tried yet. As we were leaving our friend was on her way to paint with her daughter. We had already been there for 2 hours and needed to go to the grocery store so I made Wilder leave despite the cries of "I want to paint!" What did I do? I coaxed him out of the museum with the promise of ice cream. Ok, so I wanted some too.

So at the grocery store I was lucky to find a front row parking place. On the way out I was taking a long time to pull out because I was handing out peanut butter whoppers - see I'm out of control. (actually Wilder ordered a pineapple shake at Sonic and didn't like it and was upset so I told him I'd get him some candy inside the store). Anyway, apparently I was taking a really long time and there was a man in a truck waiting for my parking spot. He honked to get my attention. Does anyone else think this is rude? So as I was pulling out I honked back. Then he flipped me the bird. How rude. Really, to a pregnant lady with two kids? He could have found another spot and have walked in to the store with all the time he waited. Lazy jerk!

Geez, it is STILL snowing!

2010-01-29T13:06:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to feel like our snow day was a little more justified. So far, it's been about the perfect day. I don't remember the last time both Gwyn and Wilder were taking naps at the same time. I've been taking care of little things at home like nagging chores. I might actually do some painting tonight. Last night I wasted too many brain cells on two hours of American Idol catch up, so feeling the need to be a little productive!

I made an effort to check my facebook page today. Arrgg, my computer will not let me share. Oh well, to all you "friends" that have left comments or sent friend requests - it's not personal!

Snow Day

2010-01-29T05:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know that there is much sweeter than a snow day. Defenitely one of the perks of being a teacher. Nevermind the fact that we'll have to make the days up at the end of the year right? I convinced myself that I needed to stop at the grocery store on the way home yesterday to get some groceries in case we couldn't get out today. Truthfully, I was just hungry and saw it as an excuse to satisfy some cravings. I bought ice cream, frozen pizza, blueberry muffins, and stuff to make cherry crumble. I made the crumble last night, delicious! Speaking of food, aren't chocolate cherrios the best thing since sliced bread?

Yesterday I woke up and felt like my belly had grown over night. Funny, a few of my students agreed. I'm blaming the growth spurt for all the junk food.

Continued...

2010-01-24T15:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I really love our beagle. He goes on these kicks every once in a while where he decides he needs some action so he digs out of our backyard. Luckily he chose to do so this week when the ground was nice and muddy. He's been able to track in lots of mud. I mentioned before how I can't keep up with the laundry. This afternoon I put Gwynny on her bed to change her diaper and above her head was an animal bone from the woods that Roy obviously had drug in. (we have a doggy door) It still had fur and gross things on it, looked like maybe a cat or a possum? Awesome. So all of Gwyn's bedding to be washed. After all this I still love him enough to put a blanket on our bed so he can sleep on top of our pillows. Poor little dog. Blake and Wilder are currently giving Roy a beagle bath to remove the rotting flesh smell.

I saw a quote the other day on a piece of wall art that I should have bought: "Cleaning up after kids [and beagles] is like shoveling snow in a blizzard"

More on motherhood. I was thinking more specifically how my love is maturing for the kiddos. I'm thankful for the emotions that come with being a mom and how they make my life richer. My capacity to feel these emotions grows as they do. I don't think I knew what it felt like to be proud before Wilder and Gwyn. Or protective. Or sad. Or sympathetic. Or to feel such adoration. Or frustration.

If your toddler is bored buy him/her a flashlight. And lots of batteries.

What is everyone reading? Any good recommendations?

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God" Probably one of my favorite verses. So simple. That's what I'm shooting for, a little more time to be still this week.

Random Thoughts

2010-01-23T18:30:00.001-08:00

I had a sad realization that a great amount of my daily energy is spent trying to control other people's trips to the bathroom. At home, I'm practically dragging Wilder to the potty and in bizarre contrast, at school, I'm asked about a billion times a day by my students if they can go to the bathroom - much to my annoyance!! To make things worse, it seems pee smell has taken over my house as well. I can't do laudry fast enough to wash all the pee soaked sheets and underwear and cloth diapers. Not to mention all the pee that does not make it into the toilet in my bathroom now.

Feeling [and looking] more pregnant these days. Friday was the first day I really had any discomfort with cramps and such. Also, I think the hormones have made me a little irritable this weekend. I'll be 24 weeks this week. Doctor still thinks it's a girl. Wilder will randomely ask now in conversation what we're going to name the baby. It's pretty sweet. Having a new baby in May still feels sort of unreal. I can't get my mind around what this little person will be like. Time is going by so fast yet I'm not feeling panicked or the need to prepare much at this point. I DO know I want a Moby Wrap though! To all baby mommas out there, I think it's the perfect baby sling! I know, this is my opinion, not only is it great for wearing the baby in the house, but also so much nicer than toting a newborn around in public in a carrier when all the baby really wants is to be close to his momma!! I've been looking at baby slings and discovered the Moby last week. It's so comfortable for the mom (soft fabric) and very womb-like for the baby. You have both hands free and from what I hear the baby is very comfortable in it.

I'm falling more in love with Wilder and Gwyn every day. I'm understanding how my love matures as they do. Each little conversation they have with eachother is so precious to me. Sometimes I just can't get enough squeezes in one day. My happiness is so tied up in theirs. I miss them even being away one night. Wait, I probably should add my unhappiness too. Motherhood is not all rosy. This morning deep in dreamland I was awakened by little footsteps and Wilder standing at my bed at 6:11. On a Saturday. Then, ten minutes later Gwyn was in our bed. On a Saturday. Pregant lady needs her sleep. So I admit I wasn't the nicest as I was making pancakes at 6:45. Did I mention on a Saturday? The pancakes, btw, were made in outer space molds that I got from Williams and Sonoma. Really, I probaby wouldn't have been in the mood to make pancakes had it not been for the desire to try the new molds. I figured out why I couldn't get teh pancakes out of the molds when I realized I had the molds upside down. So the second batch was better. Also I used whole wheat flower. Ok, gross. I know it's healthier but I really didn't enjoy them as much as I could have. (and pancakes are high on my craving list right now).

Also, I am having a hard time lately with Wilder's OCD. I think it's just a toddler trait, I've even heard it's a first born trait. Sometimes he will absolutely refuse to eat or drink something because it was not prepared in the correct way. A certain number of books at night, a specific anything really. This coupled with the "I do it by myself" desire is pretty challenging at times. Especially when you're in a hurry.

School is satisfying. I was thinking the other day that in contrast with my old job, I don't feel like I'm wasting time anymore. I've come to terms with the fact that each day is a collection of little defeats and victories which is just part of being a teacher. You have no idea what a relief it is when the one student who is a thorn in my side is absent on a Friday. I do have plans now to attempt my first theatrical production on April 6th with my drama classes. Scary but exciting. Also on the school front, there is a strong possibilty that I won't have my job next year! Yep, Sand Springs is predicting a reduction in force due to budget cuts and little me on the bottom of the totem pole will be at high risk to be let go. So a lot of unknown on the horizon. We'll know more in about a month hopefully. At this point I'm really not freaking out. I have a feeling that everything will be as it should.

Good night everyone, I've got some American Idol to catch up on! (and Lost starts in two weeks people, it's a good time for TV)

ABC's of Christmas Vacation

2009-12-30T19:17:00.000-08:00

A-Attempts to get a good Christmas photo of the kids.
B-Boogers. Why does Gwyn insist on handing me every treasure she finds in her nose?
C-Clean. Oh the joy of a clean house.
D-Deciding it's ok to rock my little girl to sleep for as long as she wants me to.
E-Earnest curiosity. Wilder was equally thrilled to observe and ask what everyone else received as they opened their presents.
F-Friends. I have witnessed the maturing of a life-long (I pray) friendship between Wilder and Gwyn.
G-Girl. Doc said the little one on the way is "probably" a girl. Until further notice...
H-Holding hands. Or refusing to do so.
I-Icy roads. Grateful for our four wheel drive that got us out of a ditch!
J-Jargon. Wilder is thinks it's hilarious to ramble on in made up words at his dad's pretend frustration. In the car mostly.
K-Kisses, sweet kisses.
L-Lack nothing. Psalm 33:10 says those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. I feel humbled as I realize there is not really any good thing I lack.
M-Mexican food. Vallarta's in Mannford was tasty! Enjoyed the company too!
N-Names. Blake and I have been thinking about names for our new probably baby girl. Not getting too far.
O-Oh Holy Night. My favorite Chrismas Song. I made myself memorize the first verse this year so I could sing it to Wilder and Gwyn. Stirs up wonder and praise in me.
P-Patience. Paying off credit card before getting that new TV, rug...(see L)
Q-Quiet Christmas. Enjoyed the slower pace the weather insisted on.
R-Refusing to swallow. Gwyn has decided to not swallow the last bite in her mouth at mealtime and just let it hang out for a while. Gross.
S-Spongebob Squarepants. Could somebody email me the lyrics to the theme song? My daughter asks me to sing it every night at bedtime. He is sort of adorable though isn't he?
T-Time. Lots of it. What a gift!
U-Under the chair, table, you name it, a place for Wilder and Gwyn to hide. So far we haven't grown tired of pretending to not see them.
V-Very far away! Missed my brother in Iraq.
W-White Christmas.
X-Xtra chocolate, extra weight gain.
Y-Yummy, that is my new fancy fossil purse.
Z-Z's. Lots of them.

Favorite Christmas Pictures/Moments

2009-12-30T18:52:00.000-08:00

The Story I Promised

2009-11-28T17:23:00.001-08:00

It was day 43. My cycles ahd been pretty regular. Between 28-30 days. I didn't really think too much of it. I felt normal. We had not anything that would give me reason to suspect I was pregnant. (we were not careless) Maybe my period was late because the stress and busyness of my new job. It HAD been all consuming, that was surely it. That happens to women right? Day 43 was on a Thursday. The next day my mom and I had plans to take some of our things to my aunts neighbourhood garage sale, including some of our baby items. My thought was, well, I guess I should make sure I'm not pregnant before I get rid of my stroller right? So I stopped at Walgreens to buy a test. I called a friend out of amusement, she was convinced I was pregnant. I still didn't believe it could be true. I was home with the kids by myself that evening after school. Blake had a track meet. I barely thought about the test until after the kids went to bed. I took the test and immediately a very distinct plus sign showed up. My heart began to beat a little faster, I got a little sweaty. I frantically opened the directions to make sure I was reading this thing right. I think I read it 5 times to make sure I wasn't missing something. Really? REALLY? Instead of immediately praying I immediately started calling girlfriends until I reached one. Lots of laughter and crying followed. When Blake got home I was standing in the kitchen leaning on the bar. Their was no use in trying to postpone the news, it was all over my face. He immediately knew something was going on. Half laughing and crying (I can't think of any other time in my life that I've done this really) I got the words out. His reaction was hilarious, so nonchalant, like this happens to us all the time. He sat down across from me in the barstool and put his hands in his hands and said "well, guess I better start doing my homework on the internet so I can find us a bigger car and house." (It wasn't until we got the ultrasound did he stop teasing me about faking it.) It really was a special evening. After the shock went away and reality set in we were just overwhelmed with thankfulness and humbled that God would choose this for us. Such an overwhelming feeling when you realize that your life really isn't your own. We took a little time to pray together and to thank God for this gift of another addition to our family. We couldn't be more overwhelmed, surprised, or excited.

New Days

2009-11-09T15:45:00.000-08:00

Last night at our devotional the question was asked, "What are you thankful for?" One thing that came to mind for me are new days. Thank God I get the chance to start over every day. New attitude, new plan. I am thankful His mercies are new every morning. I so need this gift right now. Blame it on the hormones, I don't know, but I am hanging on tight during this emotional roller coaster ride named "Get through your first year of teaching...pregnant." I've had days recently I've felt overwhelmed and defeated in regards to school and home. Last week I had a few days my stress caught up with me and I was weepy. My tirelessly stubborn two year old and suddenly highly emotionally needy three year old are draining. Then there's my house, oh my house. How you suffer from neglect because of my 8:30 bedtime.

I don't know why I still haven't figured out how to nurture myself so that I can prevent this build up of stress, maybe it's just one of my flaws. A good weekend usually does the trick of turning me into what I feel is a deflated balloon...ahh. Blake was not so busy so we had some good time this weekend. Church is always a good place for me to receive the gentle reminder that IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT ME. I felt a healthy perspective. Today I feel hopefull. I enjoyed my job today. I felt confident and a wee bit energetic. I had a good meeting with my vice principal who told me my class was not as awful as I thought it was the day he observed. I asked my mother-in-law today if I was crazy. How can I be so low one day and so high the next? She said it's just life. I suppose it is. And for that fact, tonight I felt motivated to encourage those of you who are having days that seem just too hard and tiring. There is a new day around the corner. Just keep moving. Pray for a new set of eyes. Eyes that can see past your sticky floor and piles of laundry. Your kids will survive one more night of a bath in an unscrubbed tub. Pray for more patience to stop and make wise decisions when all you want to do is snap at your babies when they will just not stop whatever it is.

Take a deep breath. Make time for yourself, curl up in your bed after the kids go to bed and read Eclipse until you just can't keep your eyes open. Then have sweet dreams until the new sun comes up.

It's on

2009-11-09T15:42:00.001-08:00

I decided why not post a belly photo? This is my last pregnancy, I better make some memories right? So here I am at 13.5 weeks. Seems like just this past week I've gone from "is she eating too many donuts" to wow "I think there's a baby in there!" I have such sweet friends, Kaci & Holly, for letting me borrow much needed maternity clothes. I don't think I have to buy anything!

Halloween Aftermath

2009-11-09T15:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, if you're wondering, year number 2 of our friend Elmo.

Gwyneth is two

2009-11-09T15:32:00.000-08:00

Gwyneth the morning of her 2nd birthday. Need I say more?

Ok, ok, I love her new red retro kitchen probably a little more than she does!

Gwyneth insisited on eating her cupcake, icing only, with her new ladel from her kitchen.

Embracing Fall

2009-10-17T19:58:00.001-07:00

Fall IS sort of wonderful isn't it? I had my first visit to a pumpkin patch today. (mom,dad?) So fun!! I took the kids and we had the best time. We went to Pleasant Valley Farms, west of Discovery Land. It is a real farm (they have Christmas Trees too) with all the country charms. I loved the little store inside the barn, it had an open fire and hot chocolate and cider. The kids had a great time too. There was a petting zoo with baby goats - very cute. I wish I could play the video I have of Gwyn chasing them around the pumpkin patch...still not sure if they were supposed to be outside of their cage. We even took a hay ride!

It was quite a thrill for Wilder to be in control of our wagon. I had to secretly keep putting pumpkins back. He didn't understand why we couldn't ake them all home.Notice the tape on the glasses. Nice.You have no idea how many shots it took me to get this.After a while we had a rest with some cider, Gwyn decided to kick it farmer style.Because they're just so pretty.

God has a sense of humor...

2009-10-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

and He isn't always logical. At least not like we are. Logically Blake and I decided we were done having children. Two was a good round number, comfortable. It was enough for us to make things permanent with Blake's surgery. I wonder really just how many couples have found out they were pregnant before the man even had the surgery. Maybe that's just how God works. What is even more of a testament to God's working is the fact that Blake originally had his surgery scheduled a few weeks earlier, who knows if we would be EXPECTING OUR THIRD CHILD if that would have happened. And the timing! Our baby is due May 14th, right at the end of the school year! So we will have all summer!

We're happy. We're humbled. We're in shock! We need a bigger house and car. I'm only 9 weeks and already have a little belly.

Current craving: Warm banana pudding (with wafers and bananas).

More to come, maybe the story of the evening I realized I was pregnant...

Rain, Rain

2009-10-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

It's 8:09 on a school night and I am doing absolutely nothing. It's raining outside, I have my window open here by the computer so I can listen to the sound of the rain in the woods behind our house. It's chilly enough with the window open that I had to get my favorite grandma sweater (no offense grandmother's) out of my closet for the first time this fall. Get used to it people, you're going to be seeing alot of me in this sweater.

Tonight was the second evening of parent teacher conferences. Blake had them too, so I'm waiting for him to get home. Being so close to bedtime Wilder and Gwyn stayed with Jud and Lynda tonight, less driving, and they will get to sleep in in the morning.

Dirty dishes in the sink, PILES of laundry, clothes to be ironed, yeah, yeah, it's not going anywhere right? My brain just needs to not be on a task right now.

School is hard but I'm not giving up easily. Meeting parents makes it better. Gives me hope. It will just keep getting easier. I yelled at my 6th hour theater class to shut up yesterday, loudly. Got their attention. I surprised myself. Sent my first kid out in the hall because HE WOULD NOT STOP TALKING WHEN I WAS TALKING. However, I officially now have my first favorite student. Can't he just stay in 9th grade for a few years? Maybe I'll bribe all his teachers to flunk him.

Meanwhile our daughter is making a GRAND entrance into her terrible two's. I have never seen such stubborness. She would rather take the punishment than give in and say sorry, or do without rather than saying please. Wilder is so much more tender hearted. She hurts his feelings sometimes. He occasionally makes her cry too...healthy sibling relationship so far. Wilder is currently loving his train track, thomas the train, cars, yogurt (NOT STIRRED), anything he can do "by himself", making up words, it's like he speaks in tongues sometimes, singing, games, talking on the phone. I suppose it's worth mentioning that he is currently NOT LOVING POOPING OR PEEING IN THE POTTY. Gwyn currently likes books, SHOES (not just her own, she wore Wilder's out of the house this week), giving dirty looks, elmoabby (one word), & tinkerbell.

Now I'm going to stay up long enough for the one person on televisioin worthy of staying up for: Michael Scott. With Blake on the couch. Nice.

Sweet dreams blogosphere! I've missed you.

An explanation

2009-08-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

Thought it might be a good idea to elaborate on the whole "art is sexy" thing! The first day of class we had some extra time so we started a discussion on why "art/creativity are good things." After most obvious answers were stated, I was digging so I made the point about creativity being an attractive trait. In response, a girl said so you're saying "art is sexy?" Um, let me clarify...Yeah, pretty akward, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Typical new teacher, trying to apply everything she's learned on the first day. During orientation the guest speaker made the point about making curriculum apply to the students interests. For example, no boy likes a girl who has bad grammar, right? So that was sort of my direction. Geez!

School is Cool

2009-08-28T18:41:00.000-07:00

I survived my first full week of school. Some lovely moments...some not so lovely. Here are some photos of my classroom. If only I would have taken a before photo! The new schedule has been pretty hard on the kiddos. They cried the mornings I took them to our new babysitter. I'm hoping next week will be better. Speaking of new babysitter, please pray for our new babysitter Phillis. She is an angel. (not my words, but someone else's, I have to agree) She told me this week she is probably going to have back surgery which means we will have to find a new babysitter. She wholeheartedly loves children and has given so much over the years, I'm praying that God will bless her as she has blessed so many families by healing her back. Not just for our benefit but hers of course!

So far I am enjoying teaching. The hardest thing has been planning curriculum since it's not clearly defined for art and theater. Next year will be SO much better.

New teacher [self-learned] survival tips:
1. Try to avoid the phrase "art is sexy" coming up in your first hour, first day of school.
2. Please remember to bring plastic utensils so you don't have to stir creamer into your much needed coffee with a toothpick.
3. Try to socialize even though you don't have time. Make yourself leave your classroom and talk to other teachers during lunch, you might learn something.
4. Don't make jokes before your students know your sense of humor. They won't laugh.
5. Try to have realistic expectations. My husband has been great about offering a dose of reality to my crazy ideas.
6. For every difficult student there are twice as many delightful ones. Enjoy them.
7. Don't be too quick to celebrate the worst student in your theater class getting his schedule changed...he might just show up in your art class.
8. The faster you can memorize names the better. Seating charts are awesome.
9. Wear comfortable shoes.
10. Planning is highly necessary but flexibility is paramount.
11. Students assume you know more than you really do, roll with it!
12. The Croc-Pot will be your best friend.

A Conversation I had with my daughter tonight

2009-08-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

preface: While trying to wash Gwyn in the bath tonight I asked her to stand up so I could wash her bottom. Sometimes she absolutely refuses and will play spaghetti body and go completely limp and WILL NOT STAND UP. So frustrating, considering that she is slick as snot and I can barely hold on to her. After asking her repeatedly I told her I was going to spank her bottom if she didn't stop.

While drying her off after the bath:

Mom, with a stinging hand: "Gwyn, did mommy spank you?"
Gwyn, with a red hand print on her butt: "Mommy spank"
Mom: "Do you care?"
Gwyn: "No"

Lord have mercy. Did not even phase her. Ok, so maybe this story isn't that remarkable in print but my little girl seems to be reveiling her stubborness more and more lately. Anyone have a copy of The Strong Willed Child?

In other news, my first day of school was AWESOME! A post soon to come...

A good way to finish the summer

2009-08-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Wilder's 3rd birthday today. I'm so proud of my boy. It was nice to take some time to pause right before school starts to celebrate him. I even spent some time with him in the dirt in the backyard today playing with his new mini bulldozers, dumptrucks, and backhoe loaders. Pretty relaxing, I must say. I might have enjoyed it more than he did. I'm not sure what he thought about his cake. Don't you love his confused expression. What the heck mom, really? And even though we forgot to sing him Happy Birthday before he blew his candles out we made sure to sing it later. Happy Birthday Wilder!

I think he felt pretty good about his new scooter. (Thank you grandma and grandpa). He's watched the older kids ride theirs in our neighborhood with much intrique. Today, he said "I have a scooter like every body else?" This is MY scooter? Yes, baby, it's all yours.
That is until your sister gets a hold of it. (Do they make a pink radio flyer?)

2009-07-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

Seems this blog is currently on summer vacation!

Thought I would delay my online homework (I'm taking 6 hours online right now unfortunately the cause of my negleted blog) to share a request.

If anyone doesn't know, I got a teaching job starting in August. Please, friends, pray that we find the perfect childcare option for the fall! I am looking for the right care for Wilder and Gwyn Tuesday and Wednesay during the school year. We are looking at many options but haven't found anything yet. There are just so many pros and cons to everything! I am trusting that God knows the answer being that He was gractious enough to give me a job. In the meatime (patience Lord) personal experience and ideas are greatly welcomed!

Summer!

2009-06-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

The Latest in Affordable Childcare

2009-06-04T19:10:00.000-07:00

(If I had a little more wit I could think of the perfect punchline for this)

In other news:
There has been some development on the job front. Should know something soon! Details to come. Obviously, I did not get the SS job I was drooling over. It's OK too. Alright, it wasn't the first few days after I found out but I'm fine now. I know the right thing will come to be. Also, it's hard to be down when you live with two adorbable children, really, they are my joy.

Apparently Wilder thinks my name is Honey. We often go through listing everyone's names. He gets everyone's right but when we ask what mine is he says "honey." Rarely do Blake and I call each other by name, just honey, guess it has caught on!

Blake and I will celebrate our 6 year anniversary on Sunday! He's a keeper. Not sure if he feels the same about me sometimes but he's stuck with me! Anyway, one of the few reasons June is my favorite month of the year.

Looking forward to a mini family vacation with my parents, brother and sister-in-law next week to Beaver Lake (right outside of Eureka Springs). I'm excited about enjoying eachother's company, being out in a boat the first time in a long time, soaking up the sun, and of course waterskiing!!! Also will be Wilder (and maybe Gwyn's) first time in a boat...should be interesting!

I feel so blessed by all the love, support, and encouragement from all our friends and family. Simple but true. From homemade spaghetti sauce, new clothes, and sweet words and prayers - Thank you all, you know who you are, I love you!

Brain Drain

2009-05-21T19:17:00.000-07:00

I've been trying this coupon thing lately. I mean, trying to be really intentional about it. I've learned a lot, saved a lot. Have been printing coupons online. I don't know how healthy we're eating because I've been planning meals around what I can get on sale. We're getting fat from my couponing...but we have more cash than we usually have 3 days before I get paid. Probably not worth my kids being a little malnourished. How often can you eat mac and cheese and hot dogs before you feel totally disgusting? I appreciate the abundance of Kraft coupons lately but really, can you make a dinner around ranch dressing? I can't pass up a 50¢ box of Frosted Flakes but I'm afraid my husband will not be happy that it's the second box in under a month (I snuck it in the pantry last night thinking maybe he'd think it was the same one. Didn't work). This has to stop somewhere! I am hopeful, I am signed up to attend a FREE coupon class at Whole Foods next month so I can learn how to save money and eat organic/healthy at the same time...a bit more balance would be nice...and needed.

Wednesday I found out I did NOT get the Owasso job I've been working towards. It's ok, really. I'll spare the details here and move quickly to the next thought:

Within an hour of the news I found out there is a position for an elementary art teacher in SAND SPRINGS!!! At Central Fine ARTS Academy. (I shouldn't be advertising this) Be still my heart. I almost freaked. Ok, sort of am freaking and trying to be cool about this. Hoping. The Lord is funny sometimes.

About waiting. Some might be surprised but those that really know me I am an instant gratification kind of person. I think maybe I have my dad to thank for this. In Blake's words - calm down people.

"I don't want to" and "let me do it" are my least two favorite phrases right now. Not an exaggeration, I think Wilder said "I don't want to" about 100 times this morning as I was trying to take him to the babysitter. Fun morning. I finally joined him in his tears. Not a good way to start your day when you snag your arm on the door while you're carrying one child, three trucks, one bag, one blanket, and dragging one child. I said s**t. That's the reality people. Hopefully Wilder was too busy sobbing that he didn't hear.

I've made peace with the fact that the seeds and soil I got for Mother's Day are not going to magically turn into a fruitful garden by themselves. So I plan on returning them and using the money to get some nice, manageable, container plants. :) Luckily my dad has been generous to share veggies from his garden!

Speaking of container's...Tuesday I was able to rummage through the leftovers of a church garage sale and found LOTS of things I didn't know I needed. I think heaven will be one garage sale after another including all of the storage I need so I can have the biggest mismatched dish collection you've ever seen. Oh, I found a huge, yellow, ceramic, sea shell shaped pot that will be perfect with a little succulent plant. I also found costume jewelry, wooden toys, vintage children's books, holiday decorations, glasses, a purse...ALL FOR FREE.

Just a few more days until Blake will be done with school and we'll be on summer pace around here. Yay!! It's been sort of a roller coaster ride lately.

Started a new book today

2009-05-07T12:08:00.000-07:00

I love when I come across a good book on my own, which is hard to do. I found my beloved Barbara Kingsolver before Blake and I got on a plane for our honeymoon. We stopped in a book store to get books for our trip. I didn't intend to get anything really but found Kingsolver next to the Steven King books and thought The Bean Trees looked interesting. I've tried picking books at random since and have failed miserbly.

Anyway, I came across a compelling article this author wrote about her difficulty with prayer. When I looked her up she just happened to have one book in the library system - in Sand Springs! The book is Confessions of an Amateur Believer by Patty Kirk. I'm on page 22, very interesting so far. It's an autobiography of her journey from catholicism as a girl, to atheism, to evangelical Christianity. She is authentic, real, humorous, and a very creative writer.

I've been avoiding Twilight as I'm aware of it's ability to consume. Sigh. Someone help me get some good fiction in between all these serious books I'm reading lately!

No blue skies, but plenty of blue elsewhere!

2009-05-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

Today was an excellent rainy day at home. I just took a shower a few minutes ago, awesome!

This is what I found today:This is what I let happen today:This is what I made a little boy do today: (actually, he really wanted to clean which helped)
Notice he managed to color his backPoor Gwyn, she will always fall victim.

Not sure if this qualifies me into the cool mom category or the foolish sucker category.

Update! We are officially DONE with the pacifier! I was anticipating the weaning to be much worse than it actually was. All we did was cut the tip off and Wilder really wanted nothing else to do with it. He's been without it for 3 nights now. He has been much more attached to me at bedtime which is understandable until he learns to soothe himself without it. Next hurdle potty training - bring it!

Ready for tacos (Happy Cinco) and Idol, doesn't get much better than that!

A Little Humor

2009-04-27T19:21:00.001-07:00

I don't know what's funnier the outfit or the dirt-stuffed pocket.
Two purses, two bracelets, and a truck. I've never seen her carry this many things at one time. Something about it made her want to twirl while trying to manage all these things. Blake said it was a scary glimpse of how she might be as a teenager. All she needed was her cell phone. Also, she just turned 18 months!
So far I've started bribing Wilder with toys to give up his pacifier. First up, playdough. Lasted for 3 hours. I have a feeling we're just going to have to go cold turkey and pick a weekend of no sleep. (not funny). Wilder is getting close to 3! Wow!
I promise he begged.

Our Weekend in Photos

2009-04-12T19:31:00.001-07:00

Saturday morning 8:30am. I have not had enough coffee for this. Amazingly no spilled dye.
That's the spirit!
This is the first year I think I've ever had Easter decorations. I inherited a lot of old ceramic decorations from Blake's mom. They had a neighbor growing up that had a ceramic studio. She made this giant bunny for Blake when he was a little boy. My grandmother also gave me some fun things like the tree behind him.
What? Eggs? Where?
Playin in the sandbox with cousins.

Satuday evening we had a nice evening out as a family. For some reason I was craving Hideaway Pizza. After a yummy dinner we went to Woodward Park to enjoy the nice weather. The kids adored it. Wilder insisted on wearing this hat even though he didn't need it.
A sad attempt at a family photo. (Sunday lunch at grandmother Bernice's house)
Yes this is my new shiny red phone, don't even think about trying to borrow it.
Focused on new cars.
Bunny or book? Bunny or book?
Momma's girl!
Our sweet little dove warming her eggs! (I took the picture from the window).

After the Rain

2009-04-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to work knowing I would have the evening to myself. Wilder and Gwyn would be with Blake's parents for the night and Blake was working late at a track meet. Lynda laughed when I told her I wanted to choose wisely how I would spend my time. Actually, I had a plan in my mind in the morning but thought maybe I should pray about it. "What would you have me do this evening Lord?" About mid morning I remembered a desire that I've had for a while to spend some quality time with my grandmother Bernice, just talking, alone, without the babies. Family history is so interesting to me. I've been wanting to learn more or be reminded of things I've forgotten. We had talked about meeting to look at photo albums. I knew immediately that I needed to take this opportunity. For reasons unspoken today was an emotional day for me. As I left work this evening a storm had just passed through and the sun was peeking through. Driving, I saw the most beautiful rainbow. I can't help but be overcome with awe and wonder, are rainbows really a sign of God's promise? His everlasting love? How amazing that He thought to give us this tangible sign...forever. I immediately felt comfort and peace. When I arrived at my grandmother's house she met me at the door to show me a dove that had made a nest on her porch in one of her plants. Doves have always been special to me as a spiritual icon. I think their shape is so beautiful and have often put them in my artwork. Funny that a dove would feel comfortable enough to make a nest approximately 5 feet away from a place where people come and go. Both of my grandmother's homes are two of the most peacefull places I know so can't really blame her. It was a dove that Noah sent out from the arc so maybe doves are just meant to be near people? I took it as a sign of God's presence and assurance. I thought, I just saw a rainbow and a dove within 10 minutes of each other. Coincidence? Nah. Is there a theme from Genesis I need to apply here? RegardIess, I felt like God was saying to me...this is what it's like when you walk closely with me. I will show you things. I will help you make decisions that are life giving. I feel loved.

Well, needles to say, my time with my grandmother was sweet and enriching. These are a few highlights:
-I have a steel bracelet that I wear often. I had thought that my grandfather made it. Wrong, it was my great grandfather Blase. He made it in the 40's working in the shipyards in California during WW2. I love it now more than ever.
-My great, great grandmother died during childbirth. Leaving my great grandmother the oldest of 4 children at age 9. She endured, married a good man (Blase) and had 3 children of her own.
-Looking at my grandmother's gradeschool photos I saw a glimpse of Gwyneth in one of her expressions. I love it.
-I am thankful for the stubborn women in my family. I don't think we would be where we are now without it.

I am so looking forward to having the same opportunity with my other grandparents as this is only half of the story! Seeing how past generations have endured and overcome is motivating to find the same admirable qualities and strengths within myself. I am thankful for the faith and endurance of past and present generations. What a rich heritage we have.

It was dark when I was leaving. As I was walking to my car my grandmother walked near the nest to see if she was still there. We didn't see her at first. We must have spooked her because she shot out of there and almost flew into my head! We took the opportunity to get a close up look at her nest. So perfect and beautiful. And one perfect little egg. Just in time for Easter.

Thought Potpourri

2009-04-06T12:19:00.000-07:00

BOOKS
I don't think I can read a book without feeling compelled to share it with the blogosphere. I just finished Walking with God by John Eldredge. Thank you Lord for the gift of writing and putting authors in our life that really speak to us. That said, I thought it would be fun to list a few writers and books I love:

Julia Cameron, The Artists Way http://www.theartistsway.com/
Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water http://www.madeleinelengle.com/books/walkingonwater.htm
Barbara Kingslover, The Poisonwood Bible, Animal Trees & Bean Trees, Animal Vegetable Mineral http://www.kingsolver.com/
and now...John Eldredge, Wild at Heart and Walking with God. http://www.ransomedheart.com/

I have been consumed by this book. For two reasons it's relevance and second because it was over due to the library. I finished it yesterday and will need to read it again. The book is about Eldrege's journey towards conversational intimacy with God. It encompasses A LOT.

I don't know if I've ever truly been in this specific place of intimacy - consistently. I am so thankful that God is stirring this desire in me right now. I'm trying to slow down. Literally and mentally. I'm trying to clear my head of everything else so I can hear. I'm trying to denounce all of those unknowing agreements I make with the enemy on any given day that get in the way of hearing. I am craving this intimacy right now and I'm afraid this feeling won't last. I want it to be real. It's exciting!

I don't want to go on about the details of this book here on the blog but I'd love to talk about it in more detail if anyone is interested.

WELCOME AMANDA!
My sister-in-law Amanda started a blog called The Newlywed Show! Show her some love:
http://thealmys.blogspot.com/

RANDOM DOMESTICS:
Cocoa powder in Malt-o-Meal is incredibly delicious. No need to buy the chocolate variety off the shelf. This way your husband can have the plain version and you and the kids can have hot, chocolate, nutritional goodness.

I got my hair cut a few weeks ago and the gal suggested I take the vitamin Biotin. It's for hair and nail support. Apparently my hair has payed the price of having two babies back to back and breastfeeding. Biotin is supposed to make it thicker and grow faster. Thought it was a good tip. It's only $3 at Wal-Mart. Luscious locks here I come!

I love my shark. My steam mop that is. I can clean the floors with the kids running around and not worry about getting water or cleaner everywhere. It's dry, no chemicals, it's green - reusable cloth pads. Everything about it is a win. It even works on the stickiest messes. I highly recommend it! This reminds me, Wilder has a new fascination with licking things. Included: the table at Qdoba this weekend, Gwyneth, the bathtub, and yes, the floor. (part of my motivation for getting the Shark out last night)

Yikes, I'm saying kids instead of babies more and more these days. Are they really growing up?

BEEF
This past Sunday was the first Sunday our congregation met in the newly remodeled auditorium. Complete with fresh carpet, pews, and paint. There were a lot of empty seats. It seems the numbers have dwindled over time as we've been meeting in the old, crowded, lack of technology, hard seats auditorium. I spoke with my mother-in-law about it this morning and she had also noticed the decline. When she asked our preacher about it he said apparently people have stopped coming because they didn't like meeting in the old auditorium. Yesterday, back in our "new" old seats I sat behind some ladies that I couldn't help to hear their complaints. "the heat is still not working," and "is there no screen for the projector?" "i heard the new pews were kinda hard" Really? Come on people! Is this really where your heart is? Is this really how your worship is defined?

2009-03-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

2009-03-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

Proud!

2009-03-22T19:26:00.001-07:00

Last week was Dennis's graduation from basic training for the Army National Guard. We would have loved to go but couldn't swing the trip to South Carolina. Mom, dad, and Amanda (Dennis's wife) made the trip. I love these photos. Especially the one of he and Amanda hugging, so sweet. We are all so proud of him we just can't stand it! He's in Alabama now in school training for aviation control. He'll be home in May. Love you brother!

Spring was made for girls

2009-03-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

you bloom under the warm sun
giggles and grins galore
you are perfect in bare feet and a simple dress
your loose curls blow in the breeze

the tiniest treasures enchant
rocks, weeds, sticks...
dandelions, that scream to you from the ground
and are oh so sweet between your toes

you are a breath of fresh air little girl
each hug is as sweet as the last
your joy is our joy, treasure it most little one

run, play, explore, grow

I love you too Wilder and I still love you Donnie Wahlberg.

2009-03-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

Up until about 30 minutes ago the most exciting thing that happened to me this week was the New Kids on the Block Concert Monday Night. One word - HOT!HOT!HOT! (no spaces, it counts) Yes, I had fun. It was UHmazing. Somehow I amazingly felt 12 again and loved every minute of it. Donnie is still my favorite. Two hours of screaming and dancing. I'm still recovering - really, I'm 30 people. (no offense to anyone over 30 reading this...it's all relative) It was probably the most fun you can have on a girls night out. Thank you honey, and I promise, not another word about New Kids. And I have to give the New Kids props - you laugh, but they were GOOD. Apparently they thought Tulsa was pretty cool too. (read a post from Donnie Wahlberg). To read more visit my friend Tasha's blog - she has an excellent gift of putting things into words. Plus, it's worth visiting to see some of her New Kids treasures from the past. Last night I found an old photo at my parents house of me opening a present at my 12th birthday party - a NKOTB nightgown! I had totally forgotten. Yes Tasha, you may have had a Joe doll but I had a nightgown that I probably slept in every night. Maybe I will still post it soon, if anything for the bangs.

Now the best thing that has happened to me this week was hearing my 2 year old tell me spontaneously that he loved me for the first time. I have just recently started to hear him say it in reply to someone else but not on his own. He curled up next to me while I was reading him books tonight and said "I love you" pause "and I love daddy too." Precious. Maybe someone knew that I needed to hear that today. They were with the babysitter today while I was in Owasso and were both very reluctant to see me go. I hated leaving them this morning and even felt a little guilty for spending time at Owasso every week. It is very obvious that these kids are used to having undivided attention! Today they were with about 8 other kids at the babysitter's house. So obviously it was just not possible for them to get the attention they're used to on a daily basis- but much needed social interaction right? When I got home with them this afternoon I could literally not pry Gwyneth away from my body! And Wilder was insistant on my undivided attention as we played blocks for about an hour.

How sweet that Wilder understands what I love you means! And he knows that he loves his momma! And daddy! And sissy! Oh, and Roy!

Our new pew - LOVE IT!

2009-03-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

Our church is remodeling the auditorium after damage from last year's ice storm. Included in the remodel are new pews. Guess who now has an antique pew in their kitchen that just happens to match their table perfectly? Yep, me. Now if I could just make enough time to do a really nice piece of artwork to hang above it...

That's my boy!

2009-03-05T10:23:00.001-08:00

Thought I would share a story that made my heart swell with pride. I took Wilder to the doctor this week for a follow up visit for his recent ear infection. He loves the toys in the doctors office. There are lot of oversized cars and trucks that he enjoys. He had them all pulled out and organized when it became time to go. He had barely enough time to play with them. I knew he was going to fight me on getting out of there so I said, "we can stop and get a new toy on the way home" thinking he might find a new truck for the house. It worked and I can't believe I said it. 1. Because I don't want to make a habit of rewarding good behavior with material things. 2. Because we're being very intentional about not spending unnecessary money right now. I justified it because 1. I have not made this a habit and don't plan to and 2. I thought $2 at the dollar store is doable. Plus, a mom just needs to treat her kiddos every once in a while right!

On the ride home he made it very obvious he was not going to forget. We stopped to get gas at a gas station near our house and he said "no mommy, Wilder get new toy now" (great sentence structure right?). So off we went to the Dollar General. I was preparing myself for a long drawn out visit where he wouldn't be able to pick out the toy he wanted or me continually having to tell him we couldn't get that one because we didn't have enough money. Once we made it to the toy isle there was a little bit of everything including cars, books, and some art supplies. I let him look. I had decided I wouldn't influence him in any way and let him pick whatever he wanted. I pointed out a few things, one being a pack of markers. He grabbed them instantly and said "ok, Wilder go home now," Really? That's it, just like that? You don't want another plastic car? or that weird silly puddy stuff? You want art supplies? I didn't argue and we were out of there in a flash. Gwyn got a shiny pinwheel by the way that she loved in the store and hasn't picked up since. So $2.50 spent and everyone was happy, not a bad deal.

He played with the markers for a while when we got home on some large sheets of paper I gave him. You know I don't care if he grows into a little artist or not although I would be thrilled. It's fun to see him enjoying and growing in his creativity. I just hope whatever his interests are as they grow he will hold onto that creative spirit. Ooh, a quote comes to mind that my friend Tasha recently posted:

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up."
-Pablo Picasso

Fun with Fingerpaint

2009-03-01T11:59:00.000-08:00

Powerful!

2009-02-26T12:01:00.000-08:00

Today I came across John Eldredge's blog. If you don't know he wrote Wild at Heart - a book I LOVE. Blake even read this book and loved it. He's not big on Christian literature. (he'd rather stick to the Bible and Steven King) The book was popular about 10 years ago and speaks about how God crafted the male heart. Specifically the desires of a man's heart. How these desires are being suffocated by modern society and how men are not respected for being "manly" anymore. It is very inspiring and motivating. It's for men, for wives, girlfriends, for mom's with son's. It's good stuff.

ANYWAY, I was thrilled to find his blog. I just scanned it briefly. He had a powerful post about making "agreements" with the enemy. It resonated quickly. How different would our lives be if we did not believe anything the enemy told us? Really. About ourselves, others, our situations. I want to be intentional about hearing only the voice of God and breaking agreements every day!!

his blog is: ransomedheartblog.com/john

Ok, back to work :)

My day teaching was great yesterday! Thank you Lord for confidence!

Thanks for all the um "pee bath" confidence btw!

New pics of the babies and updates coming soon!

How many ! can you use in one blog post?

Of all things...

2009-02-24T19:41:00.001-08:00

Finally, both kids are contained in the bathroom for their baths. The tub is full of fresh bath water. The instant I put Gwyn in the tub she pees in the water. (after offering the potty of course) Not much, just a dab. So do you take the time to drain the bathtub and refill it or just bathe them in the pee water? Just curious what the general public would do. I bathed them in the pee water. However I did use fresh water from the sink to wash their hair. Funny, probably 9 out of 10 baths probably have pee in them, Gwyn just happened to be standing up this time.

Tomorrow will sort of be my first day of teaching all day by myself. The teacher I'm observing will be getting a sub tomorrow. The sub will be my helper! She gave me the option of coming another day but I decided I needed the practice. Let's do this! I'm introducing a new project so it will be busy. I'm excited and a bit nervous. Keep me in your thoughts!

Potential reasons for stress related grouchiness today: (beware)

2009-02-20T06:22:00.000-08:00

1. Last night was about the 5th night in a row I had to listen to my son's relentless cough all off and on all night long. Momma is just not at peace when her babies are sick.
2. Gwyn had a major blowout diaper this morning that required a trip to the bathtub. Her PJ's and diaper are waiting for me when I get home. Awesome!
3. Living paycheck to paycheck is just not fun. (It's just the time of year)
4. I'm suffering from a lack of sun, exercise, good eating habits, and just plain tiredness.
5. Blake has Plantar Fasciitis in his foot which is a painful condition that prevents exercise and is hard to treat. However, he could possibly be on the mend, he got a cortisone shot yesterday that may help. (He's included in #1). I know how much he needs to run and want him to be able to again - soon.
6. Blake and I really need a date night. The routine is getting wearisome.

I need to master that "pray without ceasing" skill even if it's just one sentence prayers. "Lord, help me not to lose it. Lord, change my attitude. Give me patience. Give me hope and trust."

Ok, that's not so bad. I feel better already.

I'm thankful that there is always life and hope available to us if we just choose to embrace it.

Craving Beauty!

2009-02-19T10:58:00.000-08:00

I found this blog today: poppytalk
It is oozing with an abundance of creative lovelies as well as a wealth of links to other creative goodness.
I felt like a kid in a candy store.

New Title

2009-02-13T06:19:00.000-08:00

Yes! My new blog title is Works in Progress. I love it. Not only does it refer to creative endeavors but to our two biggest works in progress, Wilder and Gwyn (as well as myself of course!).

The URL will change soon complete with a new makeover...I will post it when it's ready :)

Thank you Dayna! Dayna is a friend that I haven't seen since Junior High. We recently found each other via the magic powers of the World Wide Web. I'm pretty sure she is just as cool now as she was then! (there is a link to her blog in my list).

Happy Friday everyone!

What not to do...

2009-02-12T11:36:00.001-08:00

...if you want your mother-in-law to like you:
Feed both of your babies prunes before sending them on their way. (clothes and bedspreads currently being washed)

Pop-Tarts and a little time for reflection

2009-02-11T19:59:00.000-08:00

Wow, Lost was pretty good tonight right? It pulled through in the end, maybe we're getting somewhere. I fell victim to all the food commercials and convinced myself that I was hungry again. So I'm eating a blueberry Pop-Tart at 9pm. Those 10 (ha!) crunches I got in during Lost - gone. worthless. It's Blake's doing, he picked them out at the store, I don't think I could willingly buy them but man, they're good! (so thanks Blake)

Today was another day spent observing in Owasso. I'm coming to terms with the reality of what kids are like today. Very few of them can follow directions easily. They don't listen, lots are disrespectful and lazy. Not all of them, but at least half of what I've seen. It takes a LOT of energy to stay on top of students and demand good behavior. It ain't gonna be easy folks! In so many cases teachers are the only moral compass (a friend's quote not mine) kids have. I've observed one teacher that is more successful at it than the other so I feel like I'm getting a good example of how to keep control of my classroom. Anyway, I was talking to a teacher today that is close to retiring about this reality and we both agreed that so much of what kids are today is because their lack of quality home life. I think it's so true. Parents are everything! She said kids these days try to cram so much in one day and are going from one thing to the next so quickly that they don't know how to slow down and listen and focus! Lots of them probably don't have any one-on-one time with their parents which doesn't help with listening skills. Parents are busy and tired when they get home from work so whatever is convenient to pass the time works, they're too tired to interact. Or kids come from split families whose parents don't want to discipline because they want to be the nice parent.

It could be easy to become too disheartened by all of this, but like I said, there are plenty of good ones too. There are some who are sincere and give whatever project we're working on an earnest effort. (thank goodness, as I hug all of them) I feel motivated to be intentional about instilling in our own kids a desire to learn. I hope they find the joy in learning and achieving. I hope they're thoughtful and respectful. Even more, I hope they're not bullied, rather respected, because they are these things.

Next, my grandmother sent me this. I thought it was good enough to share. I thought it was very sobering. Let's just say I needed it this week in more ways than one. I haven't been quite myself and need to get my focus back. I'm not usually a fan of posting things like this but felt motivated.

Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE 'PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE')
also he did the debate with McCain and Obama. You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell,life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. [ this is my favorite part ]

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Looking for inspiration

2009-02-09T19:37:00.000-08:00

I've decided I need a new name for this blog. Collins Family Notes is too generic. Any ideas?

Fits of Giggles

2009-02-08T19:46:00.000-08:00

I experienced a new stage of mommy bliss tonight. Sure, baby laughter is heaven, but pure, ridiculously silly, giggles initiated completely by the two of my babies - priceless. No attempts by me to make them laugh, I was only the spectator. It started in the bath when Gwyneth slapped Wilder on the back and thought it was hilarious. It caught him off gaurd but he was quick to slap her back...so followed lots of slapping eachother on the stomach. Then the game that never gets old it seems - hiding under a towel together and playing peekaboo. I finally managed to get them dressed and in bed to read books together for a change (sidenote: Blake was having a wrestling match with the Trooper...by the looks of his face and shirt covered with oil I think the Trooper won. So yes, he was a little tied up and is currently playing video games to release some serious rage, ahem). Storytime consisted of lots of throwing themselves on top eachother, kissing the characters in the books, Gwyneth trying to steel Wilder's pacifier and so on. Tonight was the first time they had really interacted like this at length. Beeeutiful.

Come on!

2009-02-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else but me tired of the whole time travel thing in Lost? Seriously, we get it, let's move on. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy it's back on but I've yet to see that one episode that hooks me. Like an I can't go to sleep because I can't stop thinking about it episode. Anyone agree?

Sugary Sweet

2009-02-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

Once in a while Wilder will gets a hold of me at bedtime. Usually I kiss him goodnight then Blake reads him his books and tucks him in while I'm putting Gwynny to bed. Tonight he was calling "mommy" so I went in to snuggle for a little while. I'm a sucker for cuddling. I can not resist those little arms around my neck. "Lay down mommy" he said with those big blue eyes. Ok, with you, forever.

New Pics!

2009-02-03T13:07:00.000-08:00

This is the mosaic I finally finished! Yay! I'm donating it to an auction to raise money for Dillon Adoption Agency. Definitely got me in the mood to make more art.

Well doesn't Wilder look adorable in his new glasses? Much to our surprise he has been wearing them without too much of a fight. Of course I have been offering M&M's to get them to put them on. (Good eyes or good teeth? seems we can't have both! )But once on he's been pretty good about keeping them on. He looks a bit like Harry Potter huh? Also, today was a "I'm not taking off my robe day!"
What a happy girl.
Likes: Cuddling, being held, books, standing in her chair, playing with food, utensils, my cell phone, the TV remote, Wilder most of the time, giggling, her big bear, clicking her tongue, music, anything she can sit on, momay(her pronounciation) and daddy, fruit, shaking her head yes or no, shoes, bathtime, m&m's, kitty cats, roy
Dislikes: naptime, avacados, when mommy leaves, falling down, Wilder taking her toys, diaper rash, roughousing, being ingnored

25 Things

2009-02-03T13:03:00.001-08:00

Seems like this is going around right now, I've been tagged by a few. Here goes:
1. I LOVE knick knacks. I have to exercise serious self control when I go to flea markets, thrift stores and such. (for you Holly!)
2. I have an addictive personality. I'm not sure what that means exactly but I do get hooked on things easily. (coffee, American Idol, to name a few)
3. I am really impatient. I prefer instant gratification most of the time. Do I have you to thank for this dad?
4. I used to be pretty good at speaking French and was determined at one point to go to French speaking Africa.
5. I think adopting a third child someday sounds interesting. It's fun to entertain the idea, that's all.
6. I am very specific about my pillow. Not to hard, not too soft. Blake doesn't know it but I switch our pillows often because sometimes his seems more appealing.
7. I can't sleep in anything with sleeves, tanktops only, even in the winter.
8. Probably my favorite place on earth would be Dinosaur Point at Grand Lake. A place we visited often growing up.
9. I love to waterski.
10. I always assumed I was more of the city girl type but lately I think someday having a farm would be awesome. Horses, tractors, crops, the whole bit.
11. I ran a marathon once.
12. I am not the best communicator. Wish I was better with words and communicating my feelings.
13. Unfortunately I am a people pleaser.
14. I hate horse drawn carriages, I feel sorry for the horses.
15. On an animal note, I HATE it when people have dogs and neglect them.
16. I don't balance my checkbook. I know, I know
17. I prefer old over new in regards to most things.
18. I love making lists but usually overwhelm myself by making enormous lists of to do items that are way too unrealistic.
19. I had one csection and one completely natural childbirth.
20. I once traveled to the rainforest in Guatemala by canoe then had the opportunity to talk to natives about Jesus. I was scared to death but felt incredible afterwards. Seems like another lifetime now.
21. I am very specific about recycling. I can't throw anything away (although I do make exceptions from time to time) that shouldn't. I melt old candle wax out of glass candles so I can recycle the glass for example.
22. I had my nose pierced once.
23. I think tatoos are great on OTHER people.
24. Some names I liked for Gwyneth were Olive, Ruby, & Ada.
25. Two of my favorite movies are: The Parent Trap (as a kid) and Almost Famous. I love Kate Hudson's character Penny. I love the scene on the airplane when they sing Tiny Dancer. Actually I love any movie about the 60's or 70's.

It was still fun!

2009-01-29T07:12:00.000-08:00

Well I guess we'll never know how The Tale of Despereaux ends! Wilder made it through about two thirds of the movie before he said "Wilder go home please!" At least he was polite about it. We honored his request and left the movie early. Overall he was well behaved (as long as I was feeding him Junior Mints). He enjoyed the experience but wasn't as fascinated as I thought he'd be. Could have been the movie choice being that it was a sophisticated cartoon. Funny, on the way to the movie he was asleep in the car when we dropped Gwyn off at grandpas, when he woke up the first thing he asked was "where's Gwynny?" He continued to ask about her until we made it to grandpa's house to pick her up. He greeted her with a good rub on the head. Sweet! I guess he does spend about 99% of his time with her so of course he was concerned! Maybe we'll give movie viewing another year, fun experiment though!

Thank You Mother Nature

2009-01-28T12:28:00.001-08:00

You've heard it said before, yes, I agree that Mother Nature has a way of giving us a rest from our busy lives every once in a while. Blake and I were thrilled that his two snow days from school coincided with my days off this week. Actually our mini break started Monday night when the weather was too bad for Blake to pick up the kiddos from his parents after work. We played it safe and let them spend the night rather than getting them out on the icy roads. So, Blake and I had a quiet evening.

Some things that have come of the winter weather:
1. I was able to finish a piece of artwork. (pic comig)
2. A full night of sleep - no interuptions
3. A clean house (we're talkin' much cleaner than usual people)
4. Lots of groceries bought.
5. We took Wilder to pick out his glasses! He looked so cute, now if only he'll wear them.
6. And now, we're gearing up to take Wilder to his first movie!

Yes, snow days are just as much fun as when we were kids. Although, I agreed with Blake that I would really like to get bundled up and go sledding today...probably not the best idea since both kids are getting over colds.