Let the music play!

I love my new ipod. I had forgotten how much I love music. I just haven't made time to really listen to it in the past couple of years. We listen to it all day at work but I never really contribute to the selection. I love how music can make you feel specific things and it always lightens the mood. I am amazed by musically gifted people. I have $30 to itunes burning a whole in my pocket. I haven't bought music in so long I don't know how I'll decide. Suggestions anyone? And speaking of music, Wilder has a new love of dancing. It's so fun. We currently have Jack Johnson's soundtrack to Curious George in our stereo. He'll point to it and say "De, De". When the music starts he goes crazy! Basically his moves consist of spinning around in circles until he falls down from dizziness.

Also on a music note (ha)...we watched the movie "August Rush" this past Friday night. Have you seen it? Oh my goodness - loved it. Any mom has to love it. Of course it is over the top and unbelievable but so beautiful and touching. If you haven't heard the movie is about a kid who is a musical prodigy that gets separated from his parents at birth and is on a quest to find them. So there, watch it if you haven't. In the meantime, you might get a good laugh from Blake's review below:

"My lovely wife and I just completed a Friday night viewing of “August Rush.” Now, while my wife was quick to put this film into her ever-changing top ten, I chose to gather my thoughts about what I had just witnessed across our small screen. I couldn’t help but notice that “August Rush” had more than a few similarities with one of my favorite movies, “Elf.” Each movie starred a strange character lost in big city of New York; August Rush and Buddy the Elf. Each character featured vast height differences from those around him, one extra tall, one extra less tall. Both came to the city in search of their “real” family. Both characters were hit by cars at one point. August was chastised by the other boys in the boarding home, Buddy chastised by the Elves in the North Pole. Buddy decorated his Dad’s apartment with paper snowflakes; August filled a church office with a quickly written symphony. August got in a fight with a man named Wizard, Buddy was a wizard in a snowball fight. In the emotion-filled climaxes of each movie, the main character found what they were looking for in Central Park; Buddy found Santa and August found a cellist for a mom and fat-lipped Irish man who claimed to be his father. These similarities are astounding. So, should you spend valuable time watching either of these movies? Well, let me just say one movie was absolutely retarded and the other one had a grown man wearing tights and shoes with bells on the tips. Go with the tights."

Road trips are good

I had a great time in Oklahoma City last Saturday. I think road trips are healthy! Lots of time to think and reflect on the road, sort of self-defining time I suppose. As my friend Tasha agreed today, the absolute best thing about going away is returning! It's hard to leave but it's so sweet to come home. Jolyn, Gwyn, and I spent the afternoon shopping around OKC. This photo was taken in a little shop in the Paseo with lots of vintage hats. So girly! We had a nice dinner that evening at Jolyn's house then stayed up late watching movies. Gwyn actually slept great for not being in her own bed. Thanks Jolyn and Corey for being so hospitable!

• Wilder, sweet Wilder. Your 2nd birthday is quickly approaching. Seems like you are growing at rapid speed right now. I love tucking you in your big boy bed, I could cuddle with you for hours! You are saying several more words, a few of my favorites:
peas (please)
tank ew (thank you)
da da (quack quack)
a-me (amen)
Ro (Roy)
Nanny (Nana)
Mummee! (Mommy)

• Weekend Away. Gwyn and I are driving to OKC on Saturday morning to see my friend Jolyn. I'm looking forward to it but I also know it will be strange not being home Saturday night with my boys.

• Job Update. Well it looks like the Riverfield job is not working out. The teacher that was supposed to be resigning is still making up his mind as to what he wants to do. The principal said it might be July before they figure out what they're doing and she might just give art to another teacher and split it with another subject. I'm a little disapointed but I'm OK. I haven't given up on teaching for the fall but waiting one more year may not be such a bad thing. I like my part time schedule right now. Right now while the babies are still so young. If I wait I can take some of the required classes that I need to take this fall and possibly apply for the Owasso job that we know is opening up next year. My current job isn't the most fulfilling, but it's comfortable. My babies are what is fulfilling to me right now.

• Big girl. We moved Gwyn's crib from our room to hers. It is working out nicely so far. She is sleeping 3 hours longer in the morning! Yay!

Tonight I had the energy to really clean the kitchen after dinner. I'm honest, this doesn't happen every night much to my regret in the morning. But tonight, I put on gloves and went to town. Wouldn't it be nice if we could bottle energy? Or should I say motivation. Anyone have any ideas on how to go about that? I have a lot to catch up on tonight...since my last post a lot has happened!

1. OLD FASHIONED TENT MEETING. Our church rented a tent and held daily worship services in a public area in Mannford for a week. We managed to make it out Thursday evening. There is just something about worship outside. Actually, we had our Sunday service in the tent so we made it twice. Being outside I was immediately taken back to those hot evenings on mission trips in Central America several years ago. I enjoyed the experience as it was the most connected I've felt in a long time at church.

2. I'm 30. Well it wasn't as scary as I thought. I told Blake all I really wanted for my birthday was an endless amount of sleep. (Must mean I'm getting older huh?) My birthday celebration started on Thursday, I went to lunch with the girls from work and my friends Tasha and Holly. Thank you for the lunch, the sweet cards, and chocolate girls!
Friday I left work early at 3. Blake arranged for mom and dad to watch the babies for the evening. Blake surprised me and took me to a restaurant called The Local Table on Brookside. An upscale restaurant that orders all of it's food locally. So you get a fresher, healthier meal I suppose. He said it would appeal to "my natural side." Actually, that was the hint he gave so I had already figured it out before we got to the restaurant. Our meals were good and we enjoyed the peace and quiet. Afterwards we met Chris and Jenn for coffee and dessert on Cherry Street. Jenn was sweet and brought me a bottle of wine. We had fun. Blake got me a gift certificate to Dwelling Spaces, one of my favorite stores, he tried shopping with both babies and finally gave in to the gc - just as well by me!! I almost forgot the beautiful orange roses and matching card, doesn't he have good taste! I also got some very nice phone calls, cards, and gifts (including an ipod - yes, finally). Thanks everyone!



Of course, I felt the need for reflection, it being a big birthday and all. What have I gained? Resolutions? Birthday wishes? Well of course I have so much to be thankful for so I definitely felt good about that. Change? Well, I'd like to be more like my husband. As Blake says, I overthink and he underthinks! Really, he always accuses me of worrying too much, of stressing over problems that aren't even here yet. He says only 5% of what people worry about is worth worrying about. I'm sure he read that somewhere on his MSN homepage, but probably true. For me to really be able to let go and not overthink I really need to be able to trust God. What a big and easy thing to say, I want to work on making this more of a reality in my everyday life, not just saying it. Easier said than done.

3. Family Reunion. Check out Jenny's blog (Lusty Family) for our group pic and a great commentary! I checked in on papa tonight and he is doing a ton better!


4. Oh Sister. When we took Gwyn to get her picture made two weeks ago she could barely sit up. Now, for the last week she has been sitting tall, crawling, and pulling up. Crazy! She is making some major transitions right now as well with her daddy and I. She likes constant attention and as we all know that is not always possible. Especially with a toddler. Today I was reading on another mom's blog about her feelings after a second baby. She felt sad that she couldn't give the second one the undivided attention she gave the first. This is just an unfortunate, fact of life I suppose! It's a fact but it's really hard. As a mom I want to give equal love and attention to both of my babies. It will get easier the older they get but Lord have mercy in the meantime!


5. Happy Father's Day to all the dad's in my life!

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

was the theme for our weekend. Blake and I had some time together on Saturday for our anniversary. I don't feel like we're done celebrating yet though. I claim June as my favorite month of the year...I celebrate our anniversary and my birthday all month long! (anyone else have a birthday month?). Anyway, Blake's parents kept the babies for the afternoon so we went to lunch at Los Cabos at the Riverwalk. I wanted to sit outside and imagine we were somewhere else. It was nice. I was in a picture taking mood. Blake kept making fun of me because we were acting like tourists in our home town. Well after lunch we went to the bookstore and got some coffee and hung out for a little bit. We're hoping to take a weekend trip before school starts. We've been wanting to go to IKEA in Dallas for a LONG time. Perhaps to buy a new couch and other fun little things. We've been saving our extra change for about 3 years now. We decided we would cash it in every 5 years for vacation or fun money. I'm exctied to see how much we have, we're cashing it in this week.

And sweet brother is now a married man. I left my camera at my parents house for the rehearsal dinner so didn't have it on Sunday. I stole a couple of the disposable cameras that were supposed to be left on the tables (sorry Amanda, I'll make doubles) to at least have something - so pics coming. Amy (Lemasters blog) took some great ones: http://www.thenewlywedlemasters.blogspot.com/ I felt kinda sad that I have been too busy with my own life to really be more involved with the wedding. I felt like I just kinda put on a dress and showed up, it all came too fast. It wasn't until half way through the reception that the reality of what was happening sunk in. I had a nice dance with my brother. He has really grown up in the last year and I'm proud of him. And it was just cool to have all of our family together, I think all the time what an awesome family I have. It was just a good party, everyone had fun, including my husband. Oh yes, he did show his stuff in a dance off. When they called his name along with my brother Terry and some other of Dennis's groomsmen I wasnt sure if he'd go for it. It took him a little while to get the nerve but he totally let loose. Yes, tears of laughter, good times. I hope I got a picture, did anyone else?

I have lots more to write about but sleepiness is taking over. Looking forward to two days at home with Blake and the babies.
More soon.

Goodnight!

JUST A FEW REASONS WHY I COULD USE A GOOD BOTTLE OF WINE.

1. PICTURE DAY. Need I say more. It's intense, no matter what. A little humor though...We finally make it to the mall, as we're trying to get the kids clothes changed the lady behind the desk is entering our info into the computer. She asks Blake for Gwyneth's date of birth. "November," he says. I look at him like he's crazy and confidently say, "no, it's September." So she changes it to September. Then he looks at me and quietly says Gwyneth was born in October. "Yeah, she was born in October." We did get some good phots that I can't wait to share.

2. BIG BOY BED. As I'm typing this I think Wilder may have fallen asleep in his new bed by himself for the first time. Shh, we'll see how long he makes it. After one night of trying and not very much sleep for anyone last Sunday we decided to put him back in his crib. We quickly learned that cold turkey wasn't the way to go. So now he has both beds in this room so he can make the transition himself. Thank you Jessica for letting us borrow your crib for Gwyneth in the meantime. A lesson that it seems like I'm learning a lot lately - You can't force kids to do everything (although I did make wilder brush his teeth tonignt). I was on a big potty training kick but soon realized it was more for me than for Wilder. So I guess I'll wait until he's ready.

3. POOP. Cloth diapers have been ok. I've been willing to do the extra laundry. Now that Gwyn is pretty consistently on solids well you know what that means for the diapers. No more just throwing them into the wash and it all rinsing out. Before Gwyn was born I obsessed about getting this sprayer that attaches to my toilet just for this occasion (solid poop). Easy, you just spray into the toilet and flush. The stupid sprayer totally leaks and soaks my bathroom floor when I use it. So, now I've been going to the front yard and using the waterhose. It actually works really well but sometimes I splash myself in the face. I actually just sprayed one before sitting down to write this and I think I got a little in my mouth.

In other news...
1. INTERVIEW AT RIVERFIELD. Well I think it went pretty good. I know I am being considered, I just don't know how many applicants I'm up against. I am really excited about this school and I hope things work out. If not, that's ok too. I'll go on about the details if I get it!

2. My baby brother is getting married Sunday! Should be a good time! And I have a new dress and haircut for the occasion. Blake and I are also celebrating our 5 Year wedding anniversary this Saturday.

Time for a crib?
Don't worry, we got Wilder his big boy mattress today so Gwyn will have his crib this week :)

I know what I want for Christmas already. Someone remind me in December that I want a coffee pot with a timer on it. Now that would be a luxury huh? To wake up to already made coffee. Guess that would mean I'd have to remember to make it the night before though, yikes.

Today and yesterday have been good days. I've felt a little more like myself. I've just been overall fighting anxiety and just negativity in general, it's been hard to shake. According to my dad anxiety runs in the family to some degree so it's good to be aware of that. Anyway, yesterday we went to spend some time with my grandmother Bernice and today for the second day in a row, both babies are sleeping at the same time...pure heaven! Also, yesterday, on the way to grandmother's house I stopped randomly by a school I'm interested in to pick up an application and learned of a part time art position that is opening up. I'm not going to go in to detail, don't want to jinx it, sounds too good, I'll keep you posted. Could have been on of those instances where I was in the right place at the right time. It was encouraging because I've been wrestling with what to do in the fall, some days I don't feel ready to start teaching, at least not until the babies are in school. But this opening is part time which could be a nice fit. And today I took the both babies for a walk in the neighborhood, we haven't done that in a while. Wilder is usually not too excited to get in the stroller these days, he'd rather walk. But, today, he got in easily and rode the whole time. I wore Gwyn in the carrier and she was happy and fell asleep. The fresh air, breeze, and sun were all too good. I LOVE SPRING/SUMMER, when it comes around I wonder how I survived the winter, somehow I do every year. And to top that, I still have to watch last night's Idol tonight, yay...I taped it. (yes, i said taped it, we are still living in the world of VCR not DVR) Although I'm not as excited once I heard Archuletta (elf as we call him) ruled over David Cook (of whom I've seen in person-he applied for a job at Urban Tulsa...closes I've ever been to a famous person). And thank you mom for coming over last night and bringing us dinner!

And...some simple pleasures [as a mother] I'd like to share.
1. Second only to hearing your baby laugh is the sound of your toddler singing "mommy." I love it.
2. When Wilder eats vegetables. Yesterday he ate a whole bowl of carrots. I was so happy I let him have chocolate chip cookies and ice cream in the same day.
3. Waking up to see your baby girl's grinning face first thing in the morning. Somehow when I see it I forget the crying in the night and the kicking. (yes, it's time for a crib but that's a whole other post).
4. Kisses on the lips.
5. Wearing my girl.

I'm working on a belated mother's day pick. I need to post a picture of me with my babies.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, [by worry, failure, tiredness]
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
-Lamentations 3:22-23

This verse has brought me much comfort. Seemed like a simple thing to share this evening.

Our weekend was a fun one. Our good friends Houston and Kristin came up from Oklahoma City. (Houton and Blake have been best friends since high school...we got married at their house). Anyway, I called Houston this week for a surprise visit. I decided Blake needed a break so Houston and Kristen showed up at our house at 8am and off he and Blake went for an adventure. They went to Talequah to float the river, I just wanted Blake to be outside, having a good time, and not working! Houston and I had originally planned for them to kayak the river but we didn't think about how freezing it would be, still preseason....so they took a raft. Kristin and I enjoyed the day together. We went to Target to get Wilder some shoes then to Woodward park for a picnic. The weather was beautiful and Wilder and Kristin hit it off! Here he is with his new buddy. This was Wilder's first time to ride a big swing all by himself. He's getting so big! The boys made it back early so we met them downtown to eat Mexican food - A perfect end to a perfect day for Blake. (I added Houston and Kristen's blog to my list).

Too sleepy to post much tonight, just pictures!

This pic was taken after he finally bit the dust riding his trike down our very steep driveway.



Isn't she sugary sweet!

These are a few books I want to share with all my friends and family who are moms.

First, thank you Debra Waterhouse! Debra wrote "Outsmarting the Female Fat Cell - After Pregnancy." Basically, she writes about why postpartum weight is difficult to lose because women's fat cells are programed during and after pregnancy to retain fat. So, we have to outsmart these fat cells. She writes about diet and exercise but also about what our attitudes towards our bodies should be, helps us to be realistic about progress in regards to what our bodies have accomplished, and about how most information available to women about postpartum weight lost is inaccurate. One thing (she encourages small meals often - of ALL kinds of foods) she says postpartum dieting can actually make you hold onto the fat longer because your cells think they need to protect what the fat they have! And she says the myth about breastfeeding and fat "melting away" is a myth - at least not until after 6 months. We need the fat to breastfeed! Whew, long description, anyway the book has been uplifting and motivating for me.

The second book I want to tell all you about is "The Vaccine Book", by Sears. I wish I would have had this book before Wilder was born. We all know that there is a lot of debate and controversy about vaccinating babies/children these days. When I tried to figure it out I felt lost and confused with all of the info and opinions. This book takes an UNBIASED (hard to find) look at the vaccines and helps parents make an informed decision. A lot of parents these days are still choosing to vaccinate but maybe on different schedules or are refusing certain vaccines. It is an easy to read informative book. I plan on referring to it so that I can make informed decisions about the remaining vaccines that Wilder and especially Gwyneth still lack.

Dear Nutella, why didn't anyone tell me you were so incredibly yummy? I'm glad our paths have finally crossed. Finally, I don' t have to feel guilty or wierd about having chocolate in the morning.

Spring is in the air! Yay for artwork! This is the cover of special issue we recently produced at work. It felt really good to be able to indulge myself in some creative play. I had fun finding, cutting, and arranging all the paper to make this cover. Thought it would be fun to share.

I've stayed up entirely too late but I had a second wind. Maybe because Blake and I went for a long walk in the neighborhood tonight. I pushed Gwyneth in the stroller for the first time (usually I carry her in the body carrier). So we had two strollers, I said to Blake, "it feels like we have lots of babies when we push two strollers"...guess you had to be there.

Anyway, a few pics from Easter then the zoo. Wilder had fun at the zoo, he was definitely interested in the animals. I think his favorite were the elephants or maybe the little girl who was also looking at them calling them cows. I can't wait to take him back. Yes, that is a pic of an elephant painting!

I had to put Gwyn in these green vintage shorts. I promise she has an abundance of pink things but here she is in green shorts and in Wilder's crib surrounded by blue. I am amazed at how much personality this little girl has already. She's going to be a spirited littel girl! She rolled off the bed (onto the pillows she kicked off that were supposed to keep her in) and onto the floor today for the first time. No harm done just made her really mad. Anyway, my joy this week has been watching Gwyn and Wilder together. She adores him already. She can watch him forever and I love how he can make her bellylaugh. She's also big enough now that she can roll around a little with him, they both love it.




Notice I put some links to other blogs on my blog finally!
Also, does anyone have any good book recommendations? What are you reading? I'd like to hear. I have the desire to read something good, I think it would help with my sanity! A good fiction, even books on parenting or for moms.

Pics coming soon, I promise! I have Easter pics and some from our trip to the zoo this week. The zoo...what an undertaking, I think I'm still recovering.

Yes, this is an early morning post! Last night we had a miserable night with Wilder. He cried a lot so we kept getting up with him. We thought maybe his stomach was hurting or maybe he was getting a new tooth. So it's 6:30 and I wake up to him crying, Blake is trying to get ready for work so I get up to be with him. As soon as I set his feet on the floor, he stops. Was all this a big fake? It's 6:30, I don't have to go to work today and Gwyneth is still asleep - I could be too!! He immediately walks to his bookshelf and starts bringing books over to read which is his favorite thing to do right now (he points at everything and says "Da"). He's happy as a lark. Ok, I guess you're fine...so the day begins...early.

I'm feeling better today and yesterday. Sorry to be so negative. My attitude is better. I know that as difficult as some things are right now our life is equally as sweet because of these two babies. It always helps to count your blessings. Today I'm thankful for:
1. My coffee pot and the coffe that comes out of it.
2. The fact that it's going to be almost 80 degrees and we can be outside.
3. My family. I am well loved.

BLUEBERRY PANCAKES AND GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

are what I had for dinner. I don't know which comes first...I'm feeling bad so I eat bad or I eat bad which makes me feel bad. Well whichever the case I fell off the wagon this weekend for my goal of swimsuit friendly body by June. We were out of grocery money this weekend so we used a Fudruckers gift card from Christmas Friday night followed by cookies on Saturday brought by our friends, grandma's chocolate zuchinni cake, donuts for breakfast on the way to church and last but not least those darn Girlscout cookies. Wow right.

Whew, what a weekend. Grumpy, very grumpy. I don't know why but it seems that about every two weeks or so I go through about 2 or 3 days where I'm just mad. MAD. On edge, hormonal, whatever you want to call it. I guess I just get weary I suppose. I could ramble on about the weekend but it all comes down to one thing - PARENTING IS HARD and i don't really feel like I'm doing a very good job lately, like I'm not really cut out for it sometimes. I feel like it's OK to admit that because I know everyone struggles. And also, being poor sucks. I'm ready to fuss about that too. I've held the motto "livin' on love" close for a couple of years now and most of the time it works and I'm ok with not ever having anything new...but love only goes so far people! As Blake has started saying "I don't want love, I want money!" I'm tired of being tolerant, looking at the same sheets we've had since we've been married, not being able to pick up a prescription because we don't have $10,...you get the picture. A little bit of breathing room would be nice...c'mon teaching job. It will be OK, we've got good plans for this year, if we can just stick it out a little longer next year will be easier because we will have some debts payed off. Also I'm in that gross place where praying is hard. The longer I don't pray about anything the harder it is to start praying. I feel sorta like a disappointment to God I suppose for not making my faith a working faith, I know that's silly but it's true. I don't remember the last time I really got something out of church. Ok, it could be the distraction of babies, but I'm not doing anything to supplement at home that's for sure. So I guess all of this combined with still not the best sleep at night equals a not very happy momma sometimes.

Sorry to be so negative tonight. I'll probably regret this post in the morning. Off to bed...spring forward :(