Works In Progress

I've wanted to post this for a while. I have a problem. You may think all this sounds futile and silly, that this could cause me this much anxiety, but the reality is, lately it does. What is this problem you ask? Basically I've become an enthusiast for all things natural. Food, cleaning products, health and beauty, healthcare, mothering,...you name it. Why do I say this is a problem? This is a problem for me because it can get to the point sometimes that I wear myself out thinking about these things, I worry. Let me explain.

It all started at Wilder's birth. I think it's common for women to start thinking about these things when they have children. I think I have always been hardwired this way but now it just seems to just be surfacing. As I mentioned before I had a bad experience in the hospital with his birth and my doctor that somehow indirectly pushed me to learn to question mainstream healthcare in general as the patient and to always think about all your options. First thing-antibiotics. Most doctors prescribe them instantly to cure whatever symptoms or infection. On the other hand, a holistic, natural approach is to treat beginning signs of infection naturally with whatever it may be (when I say naturally it could mean homeopathic medicine, herbs, diet, supplements, etc.). I had done some reading - usually what causes me trouble. too much reading, about antibiotics and why some people don't like them because they destroy good antibodies along with the bad which can weaken the immune system. Of course reading this I did not want to give Wilder any. But alas his first ear infection came and the doctor prescribed amoxicillin. The whole thing felt insensitive and wrong to me even though she was doing what she knew to do. I fretted but I gave it to him anyway because I knew he needed it. Mainly because it was too late to treat anything naturally - and what did I really know about treating something on my own naturally - I'm not a doctor. It's scary to go into a natural health store and look at all the products...actually it's overwhelming because it all looks so good but where do you start? For example, one natural health care professional I talked to recommended giving Wilder some probiotics after his rounds of antibiotics to replenish his system. Why didn't my pediatrician tell me that? This is the most frustrating thing - There are two extreme opposite opinions about everything and I'm usually somewhere in the middle trying to figure out what's best or necessary. I've learned the difference between natural healthcare and conventional. One treats symptoms and one is more focused on treating the body as a whole and preventing problems. Ok, so that's the first category - Medicine. I still give Wilder Tylenol when I need to and am reluctantly giving him his Rynatan the doctor prescribed for his allergies/runny nose.

Second category-food. I would like to feed Wilder everything organic, but let's face it, who can afford it? I do as much as I can but not all things. I read that the pesticides, hormones, etc in non-organic food are bad for babies and small children because their bodies are smaller and developing so rapidly. I went through a small period where I decided I would make all of Wilder's food- puree it, freeze it. Yikes, who has time to do that? Like I said, I do what I can but don't obsess over this one. The hard thing about this one is that I'm not the only one that feeds Wilder. You can imagine what kinds of problems this brings up.

This one is funny and is an example of how you should NOT believe everything you read on the internet. I had read that in Great Britain or somewhere over there a study had been done connecting SIDS to mattress toxicity.
Basically chemicals in the materials in mattresses combined with moisture from a baby form a hazardous gas that the baby inhales. I was prepared to go get the special plastic recommended and cover Wilder's mattress. Also mentioned was the occurrence of SIDS happening after immunizations because of fevers and sweating. Of course, Wilder had some shots the day I had read this so of course I could hardly get to sleep that night. Luckily, after talking to my rational husband he convinced me again, not to believe everything on the internet and that Wilder would be fine, so this one I got over.

So this leads me to immunizations - oh my goodness. This is such a controversial subject that trying to dig and find an answer is very hard and overwhelming. Some think immunizations are bad. For several reasons, mercury contained in the shots, possible reactions and side effects. And why are kids still getting shots for diseases that aren't even found in this country anymore? Are immunizations (and the drug industry for that matter) just a way to make more money? I went through a stressful time deciding whether or not go get Wilder his immunizations. He's had them all to this day. I'm still not 100% sure I'm doing the right thing when he gets them. I always ask the doctor what he's getting and why and that helps a little. Eeek.

I've recently spent the little extra money on natural bath soap for Wilder. They carry "California Baby" at Target now and I'm thrilled about that. To sum this one up, I read in a magazine (more reputable than the internet) that the FDA isn't required to standardize what goes into health and beauty products like they do food. So pretty much anything goes. A lot of the chemicals and ingredients used in health and beauty products in the US are banned in places like Europe. There is a cool site (cosmetic database) that tells you exactly what is in specific products and gives each product a risk rating based on the ingredients and the possibility that they can cause cancer, reactions, and whatever else. This is what I'm up against people!!

I worry about cancer and behavioral things like autism, ect. I think it's an obvious fact that cancer is more prevalent today than 50 years ago. Blake says it's because there are more people in the world, maybe he's right. But what if it's because of increased exposure to hazardous chemicals and just how dirty the world is getting?

Sigh. Cleaning products, yes. I try to clean as much as I can with vinegar and baking soda now. I told Blake I need a t-shirt that says I heart baking soda (obviously making fun of myself). I was so excited the other night in the shower I cleaned my shower, washed my hair and face with it (interesting) and it was good for the drain too. What an amazing product! I can't stand the idea of Wilder crawling on the floor after we use the swifter and the solution that comes with it. Antifreeze-like products can't be good. This leads me to probably one of my biggest pet peeves - everything that is good for you or the environment is expensive!!! Seriously, I understand why but if we're really serious about our well being and the condition of the environment why are these products so inaccessible? I did spend extra money to try the earth friendly dish detergent and clothes detergent from Wild Oats one time and the truth is they just don't work as well. People want their clothes and dishes clean, so what can you do? Blah Blah.

I'm sure you get the point by now. The list can go on, there is potential danger in almost everything right. I need to wrap this up because I hear a baby stirrin. Please excuse the messy grammar, I was in a hurry!

So where does my faith come in? Where does God fall into all of this? I have to trust Him. I admit I don’t as much as I should. I let fear take over and I know fear is not from God. At times I find peace knowing He is ultimately in control – has control over our bodies and everything else, but sometimes it's not enough. I need prayers to accept grace. I know that the world is not perfect and we cannot shield ourselves from every potentially scary or hazardous thing. The line I’m constantly trying to find is trusting my instinct AND trusting God. I need prayers for wisdom. Especially with a new baby coming. I want peace.

Now I am thinking in these terms for this pregnancy and new baby. One thing specifically, I really want to be able to breastfeed this baby. I had mastitis (breast infection) twice with Wilder and basically gave up after a couple of months. I have asked my doctor what I can do to prevent this from happening again and he says “keep the breast clean an empty”. I need more than that! I’ve read that some women are just more prone to getting them and have read about some preventative measures that I’m working on getting more information and finding some local support groups. I think most importantly I just need prayers that everything will work this time! I also have some stress about hospital procedures and am thinking about declining the hep B shot they give newborns in the hospital until later. Of course, this causes quite a stink because that's just how things are done in hospitals.

So please give my your comments and opinions on these issues. I’m curious what other people think about them. I don't want to get caught up in any sensationalism and want to be wise in our decisions. What concerns you? How do you cope?