Every two hours we were up with Gwyn last night. Her sleep routine is getting WORSE not better. I need some suggestions people! How do you teach a baby to be a self-soother and put herself back to sleep without just letting her cry it out? When she wakes up she stands at the end of her crib and cries until we open the door. Blake walked in once and gently put her back down and she went to sleep immediately. With me it usually takes nursing before she'll go back to sleep, sometimes quickly, sometimes not. I really can't take the fact lightly that we are responsible for her emotional health as well as her physical. I don't want her to be stressed out at night. This morning I put her in her crib to play while I took a shower for work and she screamed her face off the entire time. When I picked her up you should have seen the look on her face like "what the hell mamma, why did you abandon me?" (excuse the language, seemed fitting). I want to be compassionate but do realize we've got to start some kind of conditioning because morning like this aren't fun. (very unhappy daddy too) I know this will probably just work itself out, it has in the past. I'm praying for wisdom and patience. So, in the meantime I'm going to try to get my head inside this cup of coffee and figure out how to function efficiently at work for 8 hours today!
4 comments:
So sorry for yucky mornings!
I know it doesn't feel good to hear her cry, but it is her only form of communicating loud and clear what she wants/does not want. Plus, it gets your attention FAST and gets her what she is wanting.
You have become her self soother.
Now you have a harder job of first breaking her of that and teaching her to soothe herself. It can be done although it will take will power and alot of uncomfortable feelings you have. Realizing that you are reacting to your feelings and not your head is the first battle.
You pointed out about her physical well being is very important. If she doesn't want to be in her carseat and she begins crying do you let her out? Probably not because you know the safety of her carseat even though she might hate it. I feel the same way about sleeping. It is very important for children to get adaquate sleep even though they may not WANT it.
CIO is not your enemy. I PROMISE your baby will not 'hate' you. Determine in your mind when her bed time should be and make a plan to get her there. Do your bed time rituals and place her in bed to sleep. The first three nights will NOT be pleasant and you may need a support person with you if at all possible. Each day WILL be better and you will begin to see a change in your nights as well as your morning.
Baby girl should wake up happy and play contently as you get ready in the morning if she is getting enough rest. This makes for a overall happier family:)
I will be up next weekend if you would like emotional support. There is a happy beginning;)
Love ya!
Try doing other things besides nursing her to sleep. I know its hard not to, its the easiest thing to do to put them to sleep. When I stopped nursing Ben to sleep is when nap times and bed time were much more pleasant. It is not enjoyable to break that habit. I paced the floor with Ben screaming, me bouncing, attempting to sing lullabies, and eventually he fell asleep in my arms without nursing. Each time got easier. Now at night I lay him down, sing a song, say our prayers, and he goes to sleep. I still do nurse, but just in preparation for sleep. I think rituals make it easier for them to sleep, they know what to expect. Thats my two cents for only being a Mom for 6 months. I hope it gets better!
Hi Shelly! Lisa Cash here, posting for the first time. I'm enjoying your blog, by the way! Okay, I've got three kids who have slept 12 hours straight every night from the time they were about 8 weeks old, and I agree with everything Jennifer (above) said! She's SO right--these babies NEED their sleep, and it's just as important for us to teach them to go to sleep on their own as any other very important skill.
That sweet baby will KNOW if there's a crack in your resolve. She'll feel it if mamma wants to give in to her. But if she can feel your loving resolve, she will get this! I wish I could explain it better! But YOU have to be sure that you're really determined to do this, first of all, I think.
With my first child, there were times when I just couldn't bear the crying (sometimes it would make ME cry!), and I would go in there and NOT pick her up--just reassure her that I was there, that I love her, but that it was time for her to go to sleep. At the very most, I would pat her on the back or stroke her hair for just a few moments, then talk to her a little, and calmly walk back out of the room. This seemed to help (me, at least!) to not feel like I was harming her emotionally. None of my kids were long-time criers (like 20 minutes max), but Starr had at least one kiddo who would cry for 45 minutes, I remember!
The reward for this? Children who go to sleep happily and EASILY and sleep peacefully through the night. Praise GOD!!!
If all else fails, bust out the earplugs for a couple weeks if you have to.
I'm just catching up on your blog...we are going through the same things! Call me when you have a chance, or blog me. Have you made progress? I need hope! Walt isn't happy, and I've been doing some crazy stuff trying to get it worked out without crying it out. So far, nothing's working and I'm feeling like a loser mom.
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