So the blog got a makeover! Thanks to all of you who have been leaving comments on my blog. I love reading them. I check it a lot at work and get excited to see a new comment. It's an easy way to stay in touch!

I have enjoyed being home the last two days today and definitely have enjoyed the warm weather. I took Wilder out in our jeep stroller yesterday and had to air up the tire 4 times! So anyone know how to fix a flat on a stroller?! There is a trail that connects to our street with a small playground at the top of the hill. After passing it a hundred times on our walks I stopped to swing yesterday. Wilder was asleep in the stoller so I obliged! Crazy how relaxing swinging can be! It definitely took the tension out of my body! It felt good to stop and enjoy my surroundings and to take a few minutes to reflect and thank God for the simple things and all of our blessings despite the stress we've had lately. And also to just be reminded that He is present! It has been so hard for me to stay spiritually healthy now that it is such a time challenge to have any kind of personal life! I think it's taking me a little longer than I expected to adjust to motherhood than I thought, I suppose all moms have the ongoing challenge of caring for themselves as well as they care for their little ones! And just think, I only have one!

As for Wilder I think he is over his ear infection and feeling much better, he's been in a great mood this week. I decided we needed a family photo for Wilder's first Christmas so I got us an appoitment at Target this last Saturday - it was terrible! Wilder definitely wouldn't coopertate so all we got was one lousy sheet of one semi-decent photo of the three of us. And a very expenscive one at that, I chose Target becasue they are the most affordable in town. However, Blake lost some cash when he was pulling coupons out of his pocket and I guess someone in the store decided to pick it up instead of return it to him. So yeah, that plus the crazy Christmas crowds at 71st and Memorial made for a not very fun Saturday. Oh well, better luck next time.

Hope everyone is enjoying the Christmas season! I'm trying! We drove around a little last night on our way home and looked at some lights!

Love ya!

Wow, I have some catching up to do. It seems like this last week was forever long-or just eventful. On my days off this past week I decided (and had been planning) to go to OKC to visit my friend Jolyn and see baby Kaitlyn. I questioned going just because all the work involved and thought I'd probably just be more tired from going - but i did and it was a good trip. I started getting ready at 8am Tuesday morning to leave at 2 o'clock! it was fun seeing Jolyn and getting to talk to her about motherhood. It is amazing how different kaitlyn and wilder are, wilder is so active, kaitlyn is much more laid back - like her parents according to Jolyn! Anyway, Wilder and I made it home Wednesday morning before any of the weather hit.

Of course Blake had two snow days Thursday and Friday, I was so disappointed that I couldn't stay home with him and Wilder. I ventured out in the jeep both mornings and made it to work with no problems on the snow or ice. I actually was the first one to work Friday morning - I still think I deserve some sort of prize or something! Blake was a little worn out from being home with Wilder both days - Wilder's his new thing is wanting to be mobile all the time, you should see how he loves to stand and bounce on his legs. We can't wait until he can crawl on his own, I think he'll be less frustrated and hopefully less fussy. Blake did manage to get out of the house Thursday when I got home from work to get out in the snow. He loaded up the beagles and headed to the river in the jeep. Of course they all had a blast and aftewards I heard Blakes ongoing request of "can we please move to Colorado?" He absolutely loves mountains and snow. Blake took this photo of our house on Friday morning - isn't it pretty!

Yesterday, as Blake's birthday gift, he and his dad went to Kansas City to watch the sooners play in the Big12 Championship. You can only imagine how excited they were. For two guys that can talk about football for an entire car ride home from Ada to Tulsa (2 hours on Thanksgiving Day) this was a pretty big deal. They made it home about 3'oclock this morning. So, yesterday Wilder and I hung out with my mom and dad. We went to visit Papa in the hospital - which he is doing great and coming home today. Then dad watched Wilder and mom and I went to the mall. I hadn't been shopping in so long so it was super fun to just see stuff! I love Christmas decorations - ornaments, lights, trees, you name it. When we got back to the house we were getting ready to eat dinner and the electricity went out!! -one hour before the game! you can image the frenzy this sent my dad into. (can you blame him?) after getting the generator working and realizing the TV was out because the cable was out too we came to my house so they could watch the game.

Well, have to wrap up quickly, Blake's awake and it's time to get moving towards church.

Isn't Fall the best? Everything is so pretty. I'm loving Fall this year but am definitely dreading winter. I don't do winter. Wilder and I enjoyed the weather last week when it was nice and spent some time looking up at leaves in our front yard. Wilder is 3 months and 1 week today. I've been telling everyone that it's starting to get fun now (not that is wasn't before, but you know...) He's crying less although he still has his fits and developing quite the little personality. He has definitely won me over but I still have to show him who's boss sometimes! I love when he just stares at me with this delighted look in his eyes and you can just tell that his little brain is figuring something out. And I think he likes his momma! He gets so happy when I talk to him. He's still not sleeping all night because he's hungry! We can't keep him full, we started him on rice at night but I think it's gonna take solid food before he sleeps all night. Blake and I are still tired but seem to have gotten used to the 2am feeding, we have the routine down so well that we don't even have to say anything. Something like this: We hear Wilder stirring or crying, look over at the monitor and yes his eyes are open and he somehow he got his little arms out of his swaddle (if his arms are moving he ain't sleepin - his way of keeping himself awake). Big sighs from Blake and I, he gets up heads to the kitchen to make a bottle, I get up and get Wilder, change his diaper and try to keep him pacified until the bottle comes. Blake hands me the bottle, I feed him in the rocking chair, Blake gets blanket ready for swaddle and the dropper ready for gas medicine, burp him, swaddle him, turn on music, pacifier in mouth, and he's out. Pretty smooth...we'll sleep when we're dead right!

For Blake and I it seems that in many ways we are simplifing everything. We have learned (are learning) some hard lessons lately. (don't we all!) It's easy to get priorities out of line and we realized pretty abrubtly that ours have been a little messy! Our finances really are the main way this showed - new house, cars, & baby all in the same year is a lot which has made for some stress especially with my time off work and being part time now. So we are getting rid of things we don't need and have made some new committments. I think we have decided on a church! Wow. I know, we've been looking for a long time and really just dragging our feet. Blake and I were able to put our differences aside and agree that what was most important for us and Wilder is consistency and that feels good.

Much love to everyone. More soon :)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
I have had to refrain myself, the cool thing about being a mom now is that I get to buy Wilder fun stuff for holidays!...eventually. Blake convinced me (and I agree) to wait until next year to go all out when he can really enjoy it - so, you just wait little buddy your mom is gonna make you the best ever costume next year and we're going to Hallowzooeen (ok or something like it)! I couldn't let Halloween go by without having a little fun with him, so here he is in his Halloween outfit his grandma bought him.



He is almost 3 months now and is developing quite the little personality. He is getting really fun now and demands to be part of the conversation at all times and he is so active - constantly moving. We will definitely be chasing him around the house all the time.

Well a lot has happened since my last post. I started back to work, this is my second week and so good so far! I love my schedule, having the two days off in the middle of the week is so nice - I love my little guy!! I grow crazier about him every day! Wilder seems to be doing fine with Jud and Lynda (Blake's parents). He has them wrapped around his finger too. Last weekend we went to Oklahoma City for a wedding and got to visit our friends. First we visited Blake's best friend Houston, in the photo Wilder is wearing a shirt that Houston and Kristen made that has a photo of Houston and reads "uncle H" - very fun. Then we went to see my best friend Jolyn and her new baby Kaitlyn who is only two weeks older than Wilder. It was so fun seeing the babies together and wow how different they are! Wilder is definitely a chunk compared to her!

First Visit to the Park


Yesterday Wilder was 6 weeks old and I guess we celebrated with his first visit to the park. I can tell already that he loves being outside. I had a great time with my friend Sarah. She has a special way of always helping me keep things in perspecitve - very helpful now that everything in our lives has changed (is changing and will change!), pretty much it's ok to focus on what's important right now and everything else can wait!! ok! (She is an excellent artist, visit her website: www.sarahhearnart.com). Mostly just pics today, hope you enjoy :)

Hello Everyone. This week Wilder and I are at our 6-week Milestone! He is more alert than ever and you can tell that he is becoming more aware of what is going on around him. (he definitely knows who his mama is!) We have seen genuine smiles! They definitely make a day sweeter. I go to the doctor today for my 6-week checkup, hopefully I will get the OK from the doctor to start exercising again, it feels good to be closer to getting back to normal. I made it through getting my wisdom teeth out. The whole thing went really smooth which was nice. My cousin Amy and I agree that if they sold that laughing gas stuff on the street we'd be in trouble...it's awesome!

In other news Blake and I are excited that our two close friends from OKC just moved to Tulsa, Chris and Jennifer Holbert. Chris and I go way back to Bridgeway Guatemala trips in college and since then he and Blake have become really close. Chris is the famous "Claude" that makes a yearly appearance in Blake's classroom. Yay, we'll have a set of friends! My friend Sarah that I worked with at the gallery in OKC is coming to visit on Wednesday. We're planning on going to the park for a picnic with Wilder, maybe I'll have some good pics from that. She is also getting married in a few weeks and Blake and I will be going to OKC for the wedding, something to look forward to. Except what will I wear? I can't get into any of my prepregancy clothes yet but getting closer. The question is do you bring an 8 week old to a wedding? To be decided I suppose.



One last thing, if anyone knows of someone that may be interested in buying a jeep please let us know. We're trying to sell this thing before the first payment. For laughs I'm including the listing that Blake sent me to post in the paper for him.

Here is the listing:
04 jeep wrangler x, 4x4, 5spd, air, cruise, cd, tow, 75k transferable
wrrnty, must sell, wife had baby, can't afford, state government rips
teachers, will throw in free dog, and cat, two cats, and sofa/love seat
combo, $15,400 obo, please call 918.698.9481.

What a morning.

(This post was written over a period of about two hours, between feedings, diaper changes, holding crying baby, and ahh, a nice walk -or pace- outside on the deck that put Wilder in a peaceful sleep).

First, the advice "sleep when the baby sleeps" is serious. Do it - sleep when you can, even if you don't feel that tired. The last two days I've felt pretty good so I didn't take any naps. So, last night it was almost impossible to get out of bed when Wilder was crying...but, somehow I did it, because it's your baby and he needs you. This morning I wanted so bad for Wilder to sleep a little longer after the sun came up. His schedule has been he's awake when the sun's up, which is good but this morning, Lord have Mercy, plleeaasseee just sleep a little longer. I ended up making him mad trying to swaddle him next to me in the bed when all he really wanted to do was make his cute morning grunt and gurgle noises and gaze at the ceiling or me. so we ended up in a crying (screaming) session. This was a little too much for my foggy brain to the point that i was in tears out of frustration, however an idea I read came to me. out of desperation i put him in his carseat and sat him in the bathroom while i took a shower. a friend told me, with little ones you have to choose either to wash your hair or shave your legs - it's true. the running water calmed him. he's now asleep, so i hurry, throw on clothes (ok, underwear), carry him seat and all to the bedroom and jump back in bed only to the sound of him stirring and waking up. he's fighting it, i can tell he doesn't want to be in the carseat. so i grab him and apologize for being so frustrated and impatient with him this morning. he's crying again and at this point all i want is to make coffee and get something to eat, i'm accepting sleep is for later. so i strap him to me in his jeep carrier and head to the kitchen. what a sight i'm sure, in my underwear wearing the jeep carrier trying to get some precious coffee made (half calf for those of you concerned :). this calmed him down long enough for me to sit down and start this post. (for some reason writing this helps me not lose my mind and finding the humor in the day helps) only the first few sentences did i get written before he was crying again. so we took a break for feeding time. this morning - as I was burping him, he spit up all the way down my back, onto what probably is my last pair of clean underwear, through the sheets and to the matress pad. now i understand why moms say it's impossible to get anything done besides care for your baby in the fourth trimester.

yes, i love and adore this little guy to pieces. Lord, give me the strength, patience, and wisdom I need each day to take care of Wilder. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want,...He RESTORES (please) my soul." OK, baby is sleeping now, until next time.

3 Weeks Today!

A quick post to let everyone know that I am doing better! (hot baths are my new favorite thing) I think I'm past the emotional rollercoaster and feeling more like myself. Wilder and I are getting to know eachother a little better, he has his good nights and bad but more good than bad. Today is his 3 week birthday!! He wakes up a lot to feed but usually is pretty easy to get back to sleep. He is already growing so much, his little cheeks and legs are starting to fill out and he is much more alert now and will respond to your voice and is much more focused on our faces now. We have even been on walks. Blake and I took Wilder in his stroller and the dogs a few nights last week and I strapped him into his jeep body carrier and off we went this morning, it was too nice to stay inside. Yes, starting to get a little cabin fever so I have a feeling Wilder and I will be taking more outings in the next couple of weeks. I did manage to go grocery shopping last night while Blake stayed home with Wilder. Who knew deciding what kind of cereal to buy could be so stimulating, ha! (yeah, it was about a 2 hour trip, i think it was the first time I'd been anywhere by myself with the exception of a dinner at RibCrib compliments of my sweet motherinlaw Lynda).

Speaking of outings, I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled next Friday - yikes. I'm less conerned for me and more for Wilder, he has to be bottle fed for two days after, so please pray that he does ok and it's not a rough two days! I'm working on more photos - coming soon!

OK, so the whole hospital experience wasn't exactly what we'd planned for but the outcome of course was wonderful. Even though Wilder's arrival was difficult we're thankful that he is doing well and is a perfectly healthy baby. (and mom is recovering just fine from her C-section). Seriously, could God have made him anymore beautiful? I spent 9 months thinking about our baby but I had no idea how taken I'd be by him until he was actually here. A friend asked me the other day if the newness had worn off - no, I still stare at him and marvel at this little thing we've been blessed with. Actually, I call him my little stunt monkey because of his long, skinny, arms and legs and his constant wiggling. Oh, he was 8.1 pounds and 22 inches long, fourth biggest baby in the hospital - not bad. On Wednesday the 30th he will be two weeks old.

The first two weeks have been a series of ups and downs but that's to be expected right? So far, the four o'clock feedings and coaxing back to sleep have been a labor of love (ask me in two more weeks). WIlder still thinks day is nighttime and nighttime is daytime - we've got to get this kid turned around. I always thought Baby blues were a funny thing, how could a new mom be sad when she has a new baby? Wierd - it happens. I think I've cried at least onece every day so far - sometimes over our experience in the hospital, sometimes for joy, and sometimes for no reason at all! (in times like these thank God for chocolate) I know it will all get easier as time goes - gotta love hormones. As of now I'm doing my best to get adjusted to my new role as the "Dairy Queen", and the fact that only so much can be done in a day now that my time is no longer my own.

And Blake, he has been wonderfull. He had to totally jump into fatherhood in the hospital because I couldn't really get up to do much. He changed the first dirty diaper and about a billion more since. (Wilder eats like a pig and has the diapers to prove it.) I've marveled at him as well, seeing him as a dad has made him even more attractive than ever and I feel lucky to have such a wonderful husband. I'm looking forward to the time when we get to start having date nights again.
Hope you enjoy the pics, I'll work on getting a pic with his eyes actually open!

Last Day Before Parenthood!

Well this is my first entry and introduction to the Blog World! I figured it was time because now more than ever we need to stay in touch with family and friends and be able to share photos of the newest addition to our family - Wilder Blake Collins, estimated time of arrival - Tomorrow! So how do I have time to start a blog the day before his arrival? Well I've been home for two days cleaning like a mad woman, everything is packed, folded, dusted, organized...you get the idea. Starting a blog was a good way to get my mind off our big day tomorrow. For starters, we moved into our first house in March. Not exactly the house of our dreams but a good solid house in a good neighborhood, we definitely have the funkiest "80's contemporay-(yikes!)" house on the block. Also, here is a pic of Wilder in the oven. I will have to post some pics soon of the end of my pregnancy and of course baby pics!