No blue skies, but plenty of blue elsewhere!

Today was an excellent rainy day at home. I just took a shower a few minutes ago, awesome!

This is what I found today:This is what I let happen today:This is what I made a little boy do today: (actually, he really wanted to clean which helped)
Notice he managed to color his backPoor Gwyn, she will always fall victim.

Not sure if this qualifies me into the cool mom category or the foolish sucker category.

Update! We are officially DONE with the pacifier! I was anticipating the weaning to be much worse than it actually was. All we did was cut the tip off and Wilder really wanted nothing else to do with it. He's been without it for 3 nights now. He has been much more attached to me at bedtime which is understandable until he learns to soothe himself without it. Next hurdle potty training - bring it!

Ready for tacos (Happy Cinco) and Idol, doesn't get much better than that!

A Little Humor

I don't know what's funnier the outfit or the dirt-stuffed pocket.
Two purses, two bracelets, and a truck. I've never seen her carry this many things at one time. Something about it made her want to twirl while trying to manage all these things. Blake said it was a scary glimpse of how she might be as a teenager. All she needed was her cell phone. Also, she just turned 18 months!
So far I've started bribing Wilder with toys to give up his pacifier. First up, playdough. Lasted for 3 hours. I have a feeling we're just going to have to go cold turkey and pick a weekend of no sleep. (not funny). Wilder is getting close to 3! Wow!
I promise he begged.

Our Weekend in Photos

Saturday morning 8:30am. I have not had enough coffee for this. Amazingly no spilled dye.
That's the spirit!
This is the first year I think I've ever had Easter decorations. I inherited a lot of old ceramic decorations from Blake's mom. They had a neighbor growing up that had a ceramic studio. She made this giant bunny for Blake when he was a little boy. My grandmother also gave me some fun things like the tree behind him.
What? Eggs? Where?
Playin in the sandbox with cousins.

Satuday evening we had a nice evening out as a family. For some reason I was craving Hideaway Pizza. After a yummy dinner we went to Woodward Park to enjoy the nice weather. The kids adored it. Wilder insisted on wearing this hat even though he didn't need it.
A sad attempt at a family photo. (Sunday lunch at grandmother Bernice's house)
Yes this is my new shiny red phone, don't even think about trying to borrow it.
Focused on new cars.
Bunny or book? Bunny or book?
Momma's girl!
Our sweet little dove warming her eggs! (I took the picture from the window).

After the Rain

Yesterday I went to work knowing I would have the evening to myself. Wilder and Gwyn would be with Blake's parents for the night and Blake was working late at a track meet. Lynda laughed when I told her I wanted to choose wisely how I would spend my time. Actually, I had a plan in my mind in the morning but thought maybe I should pray about it. "What would you have me do this evening Lord?" About mid morning I remembered a desire that I've had for a while to spend some quality time with my grandmother Bernice, just talking, alone, without the babies. Family history is so interesting to me. I've been wanting to learn more or be reminded of things I've forgotten. We had talked about meeting to look at photo albums. I knew immediately that I needed to take this opportunity. For reasons unspoken today was an emotional day for me. As I left work this evening a storm had just passed through and the sun was peeking through. Driving, I saw the most beautiful rainbow. I can't help but be overcome with awe and wonder, are rainbows really a sign of God's promise? His everlasting love? How amazing that He thought to give us this tangible sign...forever. I immediately felt comfort and peace. When I arrived at my grandmother's house she met me at the door to show me a dove that had made a nest on her porch in one of her plants. Doves have always been special to me as a spiritual icon. I think their shape is so beautiful and have often put them in my artwork. Funny that a dove would feel comfortable enough to make a nest approximately 5 feet away from a place where people come and go. Both of my grandmother's homes are two of the most peacefull places I know so can't really blame her. It was a dove that Noah sent out from the arc so maybe doves are just meant to be near people? I took it as a sign of God's presence and assurance. I thought, I just saw a rainbow and a dove within 10 minutes of each other. Coincidence? Nah. Is there a theme from Genesis I need to apply here? RegardIess, I felt like God was saying to me...this is what it's like when you walk closely with me. I will show you things. I will help you make decisions that are life giving. I feel loved.

Well, needles to say, my time with my grandmother was sweet and enriching. These are a few highlights:
-I have a steel bracelet that I wear often. I had thought that my grandfather made it. Wrong, it was my great grandfather Blase. He made it in the 40's working in the shipyards in California during WW2. I love it now more than ever.
-My great, great grandmother died during childbirth. Leaving my great grandmother the oldest of 4 children at age 9. She endured, married a good man (Blase) and had 3 children of her own.
-Looking at my grandmother's gradeschool photos I saw a glimpse of Gwyneth in one of her expressions. I love it.
-I am thankful for the stubborn women in my family. I don't think we would be where we are now without it.

I am so looking forward to having the same opportunity with my other grandparents as this is only half of the story! Seeing how past generations have endured and overcome is motivating to find the same admirable qualities and strengths within myself. I am thankful for the faith and endurance of past and present generations. What a rich heritage we have.

It was dark when I was leaving. As I was walking to my car my grandmother walked near the nest to see if she was still there. We didn't see her at first. We must have spooked her because she shot out of there and almost flew into my head! We took the opportunity to get a close up look at her nest. So perfect and beautiful. And one perfect little egg. Just in time for Easter.

Thought Potpourri

BOOKS
I don't think I can read a book without feeling compelled to share it with the blogosphere. I just finished Walking with God by John Eldredge. Thank you Lord for the gift of writing and putting authors in our life that really speak to us. That said, I thought it would be fun to list a few writers and books I love:

Julia Cameron, The Artists Way http://www.theartistsway.com/
Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water http://www.madeleinelengle.com/books/walkingonwater.htm
Barbara Kingslover, The Poisonwood Bible, Animal Trees & Bean Trees, Animal Vegetable Mineral http://www.kingsolver.com/
and now...John Eldredge, Wild at Heart and Walking with God. http://www.ransomedheart.com/

I have been consumed by this book. For two reasons it's relevance and second because it was over due to the library. I finished it yesterday and will need to read it again. The book is about Eldrege's journey towards conversational intimacy with God. It encompasses A LOT.

I don't know if I've ever truly been in this specific place of intimacy - consistently. I am so thankful that God is stirring this desire in me right now. I'm trying to slow down. Literally and mentally. I'm trying to clear my head of everything else so I can hear. I'm trying to denounce all of those unknowing agreements I make with the enemy on any given day that get in the way of hearing. I am craving this intimacy right now and I'm afraid this feeling won't last. I want it to be real. It's exciting!

I don't want to go on about the details of this book here on the blog but I'd love to talk about it in more detail if anyone is interested.

WELCOME AMANDA!
My sister-in-law Amanda started a blog called The Newlywed Show! Show her some love:
http://thealmys.blogspot.com/

RANDOM DOMESTICS:
Cocoa powder in Malt-o-Meal is incredibly delicious. No need to buy the chocolate variety off the shelf. This way your husband can have the plain version and you and the kids can have hot, chocolate, nutritional goodness.

I got my hair cut a few weeks ago and the gal suggested I take the vitamin Biotin. It's for hair and nail support. Apparently my hair has payed the price of having two babies back to back and breastfeeding. Biotin is supposed to make it thicker and grow faster. Thought it was a good tip. It's only $3 at Wal-Mart. Luscious locks here I come!

I love my shark. My steam mop that is. I can clean the floors with the kids running around and not worry about getting water or cleaner everywhere. It's dry, no chemicals, it's green - reusable cloth pads. Everything about it is a win. It even works on the stickiest messes. I highly recommend it! This reminds me, Wilder has a new fascination with licking things. Included: the table at Qdoba this weekend, Gwyneth, the bathtub, and yes, the floor. (part of my motivation for getting the Shark out last night)

Yikes, I'm saying kids instead of babies more and more these days. Are they really growing up?

BEEF
This past Sunday was the first Sunday our congregation met in the newly remodeled auditorium. Complete with fresh carpet, pews, and paint. There were a lot of empty seats. It seems the numbers have dwindled over time as we've been meeting in the old, crowded, lack of technology, hard seats auditorium. I spoke with my mother-in-law about it this morning and she had also noticed the decline. When she asked our preacher about it he said apparently people have stopped coming because they didn't like meeting in the old auditorium. Yesterday, back in our "new" old seats I sat behind some ladies that I couldn't help to hear their complaints. "the heat is still not working," and "is there no screen for the projector?" "i heard the new pews were kinda hard" Really? Come on people! Is this really where your heart is? Is this really how your worship is defined?

Proud!

Last week was Dennis's graduation from basic training for the Army National Guard. We would have loved to go but couldn't swing the trip to South Carolina. Mom, dad, and Amanda (Dennis's wife) made the trip. I love these photos. Especially the one of he and Amanda hugging, so sweet. We are all so proud of him we just can't stand it! He's in Alabama now in school training for aviation control. He'll be home in May. Love you brother!

Spring was made for girls

you bloom under the warm sun
giggles and grins galore
you are perfect in bare feet and a simple dress
your loose curls blow in the breeze

the tiniest treasures enchant
rocks, weeds, sticks...
dandelions, that scream to you from the ground
and are oh so sweet between your toes

you are a breath of fresh air little girl
each hug is as sweet as the last
your joy is our joy, treasure it most little one

run, play, explore, grow

I love you too Wilder and I still love you Donnie Wahlberg.

Up until about 30 minutes ago the most exciting thing that happened to me this week was the New Kids on the Block Concert Monday Night. One word - HOT!HOT!HOT! (no spaces, it counts) Yes, I had fun. It was UHmazing. Somehow I amazingly felt 12 again and loved every minute of it. Donnie is still my favorite. Two hours of screaming and dancing. I'm still recovering - really, I'm 30 people. (no offense to anyone over 30 reading this...it's all relative) It was probably the most fun you can have on a girls night out. Thank you honey, and I promise, not another word about New Kids. And I have to give the New Kids props - you laugh, but they were GOOD. Apparently they thought Tulsa was pretty cool too. (read a post from Donnie Wahlberg). To read more visit my friend Tasha's blog - she has an excellent gift of putting things into words. Plus, it's worth visiting to see some of her New Kids treasures from the past. Last night I found an old photo at my parents house of me opening a present at my 12th birthday party - a NKOTB nightgown! I had totally forgotten. Yes Tasha, you may have had a Joe doll but I had a nightgown that I probably slept in every night. Maybe I will still post it soon, if anything for the bangs.

Now the best thing that has happened to me this week was hearing my 2 year old tell me spontaneously that he loved me for the first time. I have just recently started to hear him say it in reply to someone else but not on his own. He curled up next to me while I was reading him books tonight and said "I love you" pause "and I love daddy too." Precious. Maybe someone knew that I needed to hear that today. They were with the babysitter today while I was in Owasso and were both very reluctant to see me go. I hated leaving them this morning and even felt a little guilty for spending time at Owasso every week. It is very obvious that these kids are used to having undivided attention! Today they were with about 8 other kids at the babysitter's house. So obviously it was just not possible for them to get the attention they're used to on a daily basis- but much needed social interaction right? When I got home with them this afternoon I could literally not pry Gwyneth away from my body! And Wilder was insistant on my undivided attention as we played blocks for about an hour.

How sweet that Wilder understands what I love you means! And he knows that he loves his momma! And daddy! And sissy! Oh, and Roy!

Our new pew - LOVE IT!

Our church is remodeling the auditorium after damage from last year's ice storm. Included in the remodel are new pews. Guess who now has an antique pew in their kitchen that just happens to match their table perfectly? Yep, me. Now if I could just make enough time to do a really nice piece of artwork to hang above it...

That's my boy!

Thought I would share a story that made my heart swell with pride. I took Wilder to the doctor this week for a follow up visit for his recent ear infection. He loves the toys in the doctors office. There are lot of oversized cars and trucks that he enjoys. He had them all pulled out and organized when it became time to go. He had barely enough time to play with them. I knew he was going to fight me on getting out of there so I said, "we can stop and get a new toy on the way home" thinking he might find a new truck for the house. It worked and I can't believe I said it. 1. Because I don't want to make a habit of rewarding good behavior with material things. 2. Because we're being very intentional about not spending unnecessary money right now. I justified it because 1. I have not made this a habit and don't plan to and 2. I thought $2 at the dollar store is doable. Plus, a mom just needs to treat her kiddos every once in a while right!

On the ride home he made it very obvious he was not going to forget. We stopped to get gas at a gas station near our house and he said "no mommy, Wilder get new toy now" (great sentence structure right?). So off we went to the Dollar General. I was preparing myself for a long drawn out visit where he wouldn't be able to pick out the toy he wanted or me continually having to tell him we couldn't get that one because we didn't have enough money. Once we made it to the toy isle there was a little bit of everything including cars, books, and some art supplies. I let him look. I had decided I wouldn't influence him in any way and let him pick whatever he wanted. I pointed out a few things, one being a pack of markers. He grabbed them instantly and said "ok, Wilder go home now," Really? That's it, just like that? You don't want another plastic car? or that weird silly puddy stuff? You want art supplies? I didn't argue and we were out of there in a flash. Gwyn got a shiny pinwheel by the way that she loved in the store and hasn't picked up since. So $2.50 spent and everyone was happy, not a bad deal.

He played with the markers for a while when we got home on some large sheets of paper I gave him. You know I don't care if he grows into a little artist or not although I would be thrilled. It's fun to see him enjoying and growing in his creativity. I just hope whatever his interests are as they grow he will hold onto that creative spirit. Ooh, a quote comes to mind that my friend Tasha recently posted:

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up."
-Pablo Picasso

Fun with Fingerpaint

Powerful!

Today I came across John Eldredge's blog. If you don't know he wrote Wild at Heart - a book I LOVE. Blake even read this book and loved it. He's not big on Christian literature. (he'd rather stick to the Bible and Steven King) The book was popular about 10 years ago and speaks about how God crafted the male heart. Specifically the desires of a man's heart. How these desires are being suffocated by modern society and how men are not respected for being "manly" anymore. It is very inspiring and motivating. It's for men, for wives, girlfriends, for mom's with son's. It's good stuff.

ANYWAY, I was thrilled to find his blog. I just scanned it briefly. He had a powerful post about making "agreements" with the enemy. It resonated quickly. How different would our lives be if we did not believe anything the enemy told us? Really. About ourselves, others, our situations. I want to be intentional about hearing only the voice of God and breaking agreements every day!!

his blog is: ransomedheartblog.com/john

Ok, back to work :)

My day teaching was great yesterday! Thank you Lord for confidence!

Thanks for all the um "pee bath" confidence btw!

New pics of the babies and updates coming soon!

How many ! can you use in one blog post?

Of all things...

Finally, both kids are contained in the bathroom for their baths. The tub is full of fresh bath water. The instant I put Gwyn in the tub she pees in the water. (after offering the potty of course) Not much, just a dab. So do you take the time to drain the bathtub and refill it or just bathe them in the pee water? Just curious what the general public would do. I bathed them in the pee water. However I did use fresh water from the sink to wash their hair. Funny, probably 9 out of 10 baths probably have pee in them, Gwyn just happened to be standing up this time.

Tomorrow will sort of be my first day of teaching all day by myself. The teacher I'm observing will be getting a sub tomorrow. The sub will be my helper! She gave me the option of coming another day but I decided I needed the practice. Let's do this! I'm introducing a new project so it will be busy. I'm excited and a bit nervous. Keep me in your thoughts!

Potential reasons for stress related grouchiness today: (beware)

1. Last night was about the 5th night in a row I had to listen to my son's relentless cough all off and on all night long. Momma is just not at peace when her babies are sick.
2. Gwyn had a major blowout diaper this morning that required a trip to the bathtub. Her PJ's and diaper are waiting for me when I get home. Awesome!
3. Living paycheck to paycheck is just not fun. (It's just the time of year)
4. I'm suffering from a lack of sun, exercise, good eating habits, and just plain tiredness.
5. Blake has Plantar Fasciitis in his foot which is a painful condition that prevents exercise and is hard to treat. However, he could possibly be on the mend, he got a cortisone shot yesterday that may help. (He's included in #1). I know how much he needs to run and want him to be able to again - soon.
6. Blake and I really need a date night. The routine is getting wearisome.

I need to master that "pray without ceasing" skill even if it's just one sentence prayers. "Lord, help me not to lose it. Lord, change my attitude. Give me patience. Give me hope and trust."

Ok, that's not so bad. I feel better already.

I'm thankful that there is always life and hope available to us if we just choose to embrace it.

Craving Beauty!

I found this blog today: poppytalk
It is oozing with an abundance of creative lovelies as well as a wealth of links to other creative goodness.
I felt like a kid in a candy store.

New Title

Yes! My new blog title is Works in Progress. I love it. Not only does it refer to creative endeavors but to our two biggest works in progress, Wilder and Gwyn (as well as myself of course!).

The URL will change soon complete with a new makeover...I will post it when it's ready :)

Thank you Dayna! Dayna is a friend that I haven't seen since Junior High. We recently found each other via the magic powers of the World Wide Web. I'm pretty sure she is just as cool now as she was then! (there is a link to her blog in my list).

Happy Friday everyone!

What not to do...

...if you want your mother-in-law to like you:
Feed both of your babies prunes before sending them on their way. (clothes and bedspreads currently being washed)

Pop-Tarts and a little time for reflection

Wow, Lost was pretty good tonight right? It pulled through in the end, maybe we're getting somewhere. I fell victim to all the food commercials and convinced myself that I was hungry again. So I'm eating a blueberry Pop-Tart at 9pm. Those 10 (ha!) crunches I got in during Lost - gone. worthless. It's Blake's doing, he picked them out at the store, I don't think I could willingly buy them but man, they're good! (so thanks Blake)

Today was another day spent observing in Owasso. I'm coming to terms with the reality of what kids are like today. Very few of them can follow directions easily. They don't listen, lots are disrespectful and lazy. Not all of them, but at least half of what I've seen. It takes a LOT of energy to stay on top of students and demand good behavior. It ain't gonna be easy folks! In so many cases teachers are the only moral compass (a friend's quote not mine) kids have. I've observed one teacher that is more successful at it than the other so I feel like I'm getting a good example of how to keep control of my classroom. Anyway, I was talking to a teacher today that is close to retiring about this reality and we both agreed that so much of what kids are today is because their lack of quality home life. I think it's so true. Parents are everything! She said kids these days try to cram so much in one day and are going from one thing to the next so quickly that they don't know how to slow down and listen and focus! Lots of them probably don't have any one-on-one time with their parents which doesn't help with listening skills. Parents are busy and tired when they get home from work so whatever is convenient to pass the time works, they're too tired to interact. Or kids come from split families whose parents don't want to discipline because they want to be the nice parent.

It could be easy to become too disheartened by all of this, but like I said, there are plenty of good ones too. There are some who are sincere and give whatever project we're working on an earnest effort. (thank goodness, as I hug all of them) I feel motivated to be intentional about instilling in our own kids a desire to learn. I hope they find the joy in learning and achieving. I hope they're thoughtful and respectful. Even more, I hope they're not bullied, rather respected, because they are these things.

Next, my grandmother sent me this. I thought it was good enough to share. I thought it was very sobering. Let's just say I needed it this week in more ways than one. I haven't been quite myself and need to get my focus back. I'm not usually a fan of posting things like this but felt motivated.

Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE 'PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE')
also he did the debate with McCain and Obama. You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell,life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. [ this is my favorite part ]

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Looking for inspiration

I've decided I need a new name for this blog. Collins Family Notes is too generic. Any ideas?

Fits of Giggles

I experienced a new stage of mommy bliss tonight. Sure, baby laughter is heaven, but pure, ridiculously silly, giggles initiated completely by the two of my babies - priceless. No attempts by me to make them laugh, I was only the spectator. It started in the bath when Gwyneth slapped Wilder on the back and thought it was hilarious. It caught him off gaurd but he was quick to slap her back...so followed lots of slapping eachother on the stomach. Then the game that never gets old it seems - hiding under a towel together and playing peekaboo. I finally managed to get them dressed and in bed to read books together for a change (sidenote: Blake was having a wrestling match with the Trooper...by the looks of his face and shirt covered with oil I think the Trooper won. So yes, he was a little tied up and is currently playing video games to release some serious rage, ahem). Storytime consisted of lots of throwing themselves on top eachother, kissing the characters in the books, Gwyneth trying to steel Wilder's pacifier and so on. Tonight was the first time they had really interacted like this at length. Beeeutiful.

Come on!

Is anyone else but me tired of the whole time travel thing in Lost? Seriously, we get it, let's move on. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy it's back on but I've yet to see that one episode that hooks me. Like an I can't go to sleep because I can't stop thinking about it episode. Anyone agree?

Sugary Sweet

Once in a while Wilder will gets a hold of me at bedtime. Usually I kiss him goodnight then Blake reads him his books and tucks him in while I'm putting Gwynny to bed. Tonight he was calling "mommy" so I went in to snuggle for a little while. I'm a sucker for cuddling. I can not resist those little arms around my neck. "Lay down mommy" he said with those big blue eyes. Ok, with you, forever.

New Pics!

This is the mosaic I finally finished! Yay! I'm donating it to an auction to raise money for Dillon Adoption Agency. Definitely got me in the mood to make more art.

Well doesn't Wilder look adorable in his new glasses? Much to our surprise he has been wearing them without too much of a fight. Of course I have been offering M&M's to get them to put them on. (Good eyes or good teeth? seems we can't have both! )But once on he's been pretty good about keeping them on. He looks a bit like Harry Potter huh? Also, today was a "I'm not taking off my robe day!"
What a happy girl.
Likes: Cuddling, being held, books, standing in her chair, playing with food, utensils, my cell phone, the TV remote, Wilder most of the time, giggling, her big bear, clicking her tongue, music, anything she can sit on, momay(her pronounciation) and daddy, fruit, shaking her head yes or no, shoes, bathtime, m&m's, kitty cats, roy
Dislikes: naptime, avacados, when mommy leaves, falling down, Wilder taking her toys, diaper rash, roughousing, being ingnored

25 Things

Seems like this is going around right now, I've been tagged by a few. Here goes:
1. I LOVE knick knacks. I have to exercise serious self control when I go to flea markets, thrift stores and such. (for you Holly!)
2. I have an addictive personality. I'm not sure what that means exactly but I do get hooked on things easily. (coffee, American Idol, to name a few)
3. I am really impatient. I prefer instant gratification most of the time. Do I have you to thank for this dad?
4. I used to be pretty good at speaking French and was determined at one point to go to French speaking Africa.
5. I think adopting a third child someday sounds interesting. It's fun to entertain the idea, that's all.
6. I am very specific about my pillow. Not to hard, not too soft. Blake doesn't know it but I switch our pillows often because sometimes his seems more appealing.
7. I can't sleep in anything with sleeves, tanktops only, even in the winter.
8. Probably my favorite place on earth would be Dinosaur Point at Grand Lake. A place we visited often growing up.
9. I love to waterski.
10. I always assumed I was more of the city girl type but lately I think someday having a farm would be awesome. Horses, tractors, crops, the whole bit.
11. I ran a marathon once.
12. I am not the best communicator. Wish I was better with words and communicating my feelings.
13. Unfortunately I am a people pleaser.
14. I hate horse drawn carriages, I feel sorry for the horses.
15. On an animal note, I HATE it when people have dogs and neglect them.
16. I don't balance my checkbook. I know, I know
17. I prefer old over new in regards to most things.
18. I love making lists but usually overwhelm myself by making enormous lists of to do items that are way too unrealistic.
19. I had one csection and one completely natural childbirth.
20. I once traveled to the rainforest in Guatemala by canoe then had the opportunity to talk to natives about Jesus. I was scared to death but felt incredible afterwards. Seems like another lifetime now.
21. I am very specific about recycling. I can't throw anything away (although I do make exceptions from time to time) that shouldn't. I melt old candle wax out of glass candles so I can recycle the glass for example.
22. I had my nose pierced once.
23. I think tatoos are great on OTHER people.
24. Some names I liked for Gwyneth were Olive, Ruby, & Ada.
25. Two of my favorite movies are: The Parent Trap (as a kid) and Almost Famous. I love Kate Hudson's character Penny. I love the scene on the airplane when they sing Tiny Dancer. Actually I love any movie about the 60's or 70's.

It was still fun!

Well I guess we'll never know how The Tale of Despereaux ends! Wilder made it through about two thirds of the movie before he said "Wilder go home please!" At least he was polite about it. We honored his request and left the movie early. Overall he was well behaved (as long as I was feeding him Junior Mints). He enjoyed the experience but wasn't as fascinated as I thought he'd be. Could have been the movie choice being that it was a sophisticated cartoon. Funny, on the way to the movie he was asleep in the car when we dropped Gwyn off at grandpas, when he woke up the first thing he asked was "where's Gwynny?" He continued to ask about her until we made it to grandpa's house to pick her up. He greeted her with a good rub on the head. Sweet! I guess he does spend about 99% of his time with her so of course he was concerned! Maybe we'll give movie viewing another year, fun experiment though!

Thank You Mother Nature

You've heard it said before, yes, I agree that Mother Nature has a way of giving us a rest from our busy lives every once in a while. Blake and I were thrilled that his two snow days from school coincided with my days off this week. Actually our mini break started Monday night when the weather was too bad for Blake to pick up the kiddos from his parents after work. We played it safe and let them spend the night rather than getting them out on the icy roads. So, Blake and I had a quiet evening.

Some things that have come of the winter weather:
1. I was able to finish a piece of artwork. (pic comig)
2. A full night of sleep - no interuptions
3. A clean house (we're talkin' much cleaner than usual people)
4. Lots of groceries bought.
5. We took Wilder to pick out his glasses! He looked so cute, now if only he'll wear them.
6. And now, we're gearing up to take Wilder to his first movie!

Yes, snow days are just as much fun as when we were kids. Although, I agreed with Blake that I would really like to get bundled up and go sledding today...probably not the best idea since both kids are getting over colds.

I love you Wilder!

This morning as I was putting Wilder's shoes on he said several times "no mommy, Wilder stay home." Broke my heart! How do you explain to a two year old that mommy has to go to work?

Also, as a mom do you ever anticipate times when they're older that you know your heart will hurt for them? I get nervous just thinking about it. I'm not ready. I know at some point he will have his heart broken, get bullied, and not get picked for the team. I know, all a part of life and necessary for growth...but can we just skip those parts please?

Tidbit

I know it has been too long since I've updated. I just haven't been very successfull at finding the time. I took Wilder to the eyedoctor today and learned that he will need to have corrective eye surgery, again. Also, his astigmatism is worse so the doc wants him to wear glasses. Glasses? What? Is he going to get made fun of in school? How will I get a two year old to wear glasses? And, even though we've been through the surgery once I am anxious about it all over again. I am more concerned about him this time because I feel he is old enough to be scared. Sigh. We'll be ok...lots of moms have harder things to deal with (I keep telling myself) right?

Ok, season premier of Lost is 28 minutes! Yay!

Family

We made it home this evening from Blake's grandfather's funeral in Ada. There really is so much to say. I don't think I have the energy to put it all into words! Simply stated, I feel really proud to have known Wilder Willard "Toby" Collins. (cool name huh?). And to be part of his family. He really did live vigorously and was respected and loved for so many reasons. A "man's man" as the minister said today as he talked about his life: one of 13 siblings, star athelete - played football for TU the Greenbay Packers, served in the Army, married a great woman for 59 years and had 5 children, was a great dancer, loved fishing and hunting, worked hard, loved his children well. My sweetest memory of him is the day Wilder was born. Toby and Evelyn came to the hospital and it was in the room as I was holding Wilder that we told him we had given Wilder his name. He had tears in his eyes. I feel honored that Wilder carries his namesake and pray that he will grow into equal the man!

Also, my baby brother left for the Army National Guard today. I am excited, proud, and a little scared. He will be gone for 4 months for training. I can't wait to see the transformation when he comes back. I'm hoping and praying that his involvement will be all positive and no surprises. Here he is with Gwyn on Christmas, cute.

Ahh, calm

Today feels like the calm after a mini storm. Wilder is on the mend. I was worried last night because he was still coughing. I got in to bed with him and we both eventually fell sound asleep. The coughing magically stopped and he slept through the night. Also, yesterday I was in a wreck on my lunch hour. Not my fault, this kid turned in front of me in the intersection. Pretty hard hit but no injuries and the jeep is still driveable (after the wrecker pulled the bumper out of the wheel). Scary though, this is the second time someone has pulled out in front of me in the past year or so. What's the deal? Blake says it must be my magnetic personality, ha. I'm just glad we don't have any injuries to deal with. The worst part is this kid does NOT have insurance. We could be in for a long battle here.

BUT, today is better. Lynda came to pick up the babies so they could ride to Ada with her and get there a little sooner. (We are going to Ada tonight for Christmas with Blake's grandparents and she has the DVD player in her car). So I have a chance to deal with the tornado that hit my house and get us packed so we can get on the road. I love a quiet house. I'm enjoying peppermint tea and taking in our Christmas trees. (we decided to go ahead and put up the big green one, I'm glad we did) Taking a minute to thank God for taking care of all of us this week.
Ok, I've been tagged by both Jenny and Lita, here goes:

8 TV shows I watch.
1. Lost
2. The Office
3. 30 Rock
4. 30 minute meals
5. Barefoot Contessa
6. Wheel of Fortune
7. The news
8. College football (not willingly, subconsciously while I'm sitting next to Blake on the couch knitting)

8 Favorite Restaurants
1. Arby's (curly fries and a frosty, oh man, and the chicken salad sandwhiches yummy)
2. Lanna Thai
3. Bill & Ruth's
4. Elote (healthy mexican food downtown if you haven't tried it)
5. Wherever I can eat good spaghetti.
6. Schlotzsky's (wish we had more of these)
7. Zorba's

8 things that happened today
1. Woke up next to Wilder
2. Made malt-o-meal for both babies, something I know they'll for sure eat.
3. Made coffee for me.
4. Took IB Profeun for a fastly approaching headache.
5. Listened to the Fox and the Hound for the 103rd time.
6. Demanded no more movies and turned on music instead.
7. Danced with Wilder and Gwyn
8. Sat on the couch for a minute with my tea and pet Roy.

8 things I look forward to:
1. My shower today
2. Christmas celebrations with family tonight and next week.
3. Blake's grandmother's cooking this weekend
4. Seeing the kids faces Christmas morning when they see their giganto stuffed animals
5. Conversations with Wilder and Gwyn
6. Teaching next year
7. The future!
8. Bedtime

8 things I wish for:
1. Good health for my family
2. A housekeeper
3. New pillows, towels, sheets. Don't you think a wedding shower at 5 years is a good idea? To replace all the stuff you got 5 years ago?
4. A garden
5. More dedication to reading my Bible and spending time in prayer
6. Blake's heel to stop hurting so he can run again.
7. Me to start running again.
8. For my kids to know and love God.

I tag: Holly, Tasha, Bre, Dayna, Saundra, Kristen, Starr, and Lisa. (that pretty much covers everyone I know that hasn't been tagged and has a blog!)

Can't really think of a title

Wilder was awake from 2am to 5:30am last night coughing. Miserable. Finally after giving him the cough syrup that didn't seem to relieve him quick enough he and Blake made it to the couch for the 100th viewing of Fox and the Hound. Sitting up was the only way to get him to stop coughing. I can't believe he stayed awake for the entire movie. Probably because the cough syrup had a decongestant in it which I've learned is a stimulant. He slept for about 45 minutes this morning before he was awake again coughing. Poor baby. He's had this cold for about two weeks now and is going to the doctor TODAY. I kick myself for hesitating, maybe I could have spared us a few sleepless nights if we had taken him earlier. Last time we took him for a cough the doctor pretty much said it had to run its course and all we could do for him was give him cough syrup. That is generally the way I like to go about things since I am not a big antibiotics fan. Today I am desperate for antibiotics or something that will fix it, now. We've been giving him Benedryl, cough syrup and pain reliever for days it seems, can't be good to be on this stuff for this long. All those warnings on the cough syrup, scary.

One of the worst feelings as a mother is helplessness. If only I could make him stop coughing. All I could do last night is pray repeatedly that God would relieve him so that we all could get needed rest. Well He didn't for whatever reason.

About a week ago I went to Dr. Sears website (askdrsears.com) to figure out which cough syrup to give him and educate myself about all of the many options and came across a link to a medicine called Sinupret. It is a natural, plant based medicine that is supposed to be very safe and effective for sinus support. Very popular in Europe, gaining popularity in the U.S. I am definitely interested in talking to the doc about it and getting some for the next time colds come around. Read about it: www.binoricausa.com. There is also some good info about why alternative medicine is not really trusted by the public so much anymore.

Of course, I am frustrated that this kind of medicine is not readily available to moms. Wouldn't it have been nice to have known about it sooner? I think you have to buy it online. It's like most things alternative or naturally based (meaning you can't find them at Wal-Mart or Walgreens) you have to seek them out. Another example, why don't doctors tell you or recommend probiotics, just antibioitcs?

This stirs me to make a point about awareness. I want to encourage moms to make educated decisions. About birth, health, everything. Seriously, an alterntive approach or not, please just know what your options are! I know that we learn things through experience, that's just how life is. I have learned a lot of things the very hard way particularly through Wilder and I's birth experience. I learned that the practice of birth is treated as a fast-paced, commercialized industry in the US and lots of moms suffer the consequences like unwanted in C-Sections. Sorry if that seems a little harsh. My experience is probably why I am so cautious, paranoid, and distrusting of mainstream healthcare. I went about my pregnancy with Gwyneth so differently and had such a more positive experience. I wish I had a positive memory of Wilder's birth so badly...However, I know it made me a stronger and wiser mom so maybe that was God's plan. Yes, I have had to deal with my paranoia and let trust in God overcome my fear. I'm still working on it and probably always will as a mom.

Anyway...

Sorry about the tangent. I think if we took the time to do a little more research on our own maybe we could save ourselves at least a small percentage of heartache or regret.

I hope some of this made sense and you are able to read between the lines and make connections I'm not able to articulate. I feel better. I'm headed back to the coffee pot!

Update: Just learned that Wilder has a respiratory infection. So yes, thankful for antibiotics today.

It's a long one

I've decided lately I like being a homebody. Maybe it's just because it's a busy time of year, lots of traveling, makes me appreciate and enjoy the time we have at home. More so, because my energy level has been down for about the last month now. Not sure why exactly. Maybe hormones adjusing from weaning Gwyn, Winter, busyness, or maybe just a combination of it all. I'm having to be very realistic as to what I can accomplish and I've been surprisingly OK with lowering my expectations. Especially since I've been spending time observing in Owasso. I'm generally a people pleaser and obsess about getting little things done. Not so much these days. I can definitely attribute motherhood for helping me let go of those traits! Yay! Unfortunately, as a result, my blog is suffering from scarce updating, sorry.

Today and yesterday were good days with the babes and I. Wonderfully exhausting rather than terribly exhausting. I say that because the week leading up to yesterday and today have been difficult with Wilder. He has been emotional and very demanding. Comes with the age I suppose. Getting back into his routine this week has been good for him...he's been much nicer :) We've had lots of time to play, get our Christmas decorations out and not have to go anywhere. Even though I am physically tired from taking care of them at the same time I feel refreshed. Ready to face all that lies ahead in the next few weeks! I think I can, I think I can!

First, a few random updates.
Wildman:
-loves movies and TV right now. Current favorites are The Lion King, Fox and the Hound, and The Junglebook....not crazy about this but I'm trying to roll with it for now. He is still interested in many other activities so not seeing it as a problem at this point.
-Still refers to himself as Wilder (pronounced Wier) instead of I. Actually he doesn't use any pronouns at all.
-We are no where close to being potty trained. Still trying to be patient. He is not interested at all except for an occasional pee in the potty for an M&M about once every other day. I've been showing him big boy underwear, "see how soft these are Wilder? Wilder if you use the potty you don't have to have your diaper changed" (which he hates) "Diapers are for babies" None of it working!
-Has a love/hate relationship with his sister. Plenty of pushing down, steeling toys, kissing and hugging all in the same day.
-He is finally getting out his "just want mommy" stage, this is helpful at bedime!

Gwynny bear:
Of the two if feels like she is the one growing at rapid speed right now. Intellectually and physically. She is going to be a confident and determined young lady. Traits that I'm glad she possess, we just have our work cut out for us! Its wonderful to watch but also a bit sad for me to let go of her as a baby. I love her the size she is now, she still fits so nicely in my lap and arms. Can she please not get any bigger? She always has a smile and a kiss to give away. (she's still in her sweet stage!) She has found her independence and I think she likes it. She is way less dependent on me to fall asleep at bedtime now. Especially since we stopped nursing about 3 weeks ago.

Tonight we went to Spaghetti Warehouse (buy one get one free!). I set her up in her high chair with a plate in front of her with spaghetti and she sat there and ate it like a big girl. I guess I was overall amazed at how good she was (meaning no crying and didn't try to climb on the table) because of how tired she was. Only a 30 min nap all day. Anyway, she has to have a utensil in one hand while she eats with the opposite hand. Occasionally she would try to stab a bite with the fork but doesn't quite have the motor skills for that yet. Oh, and the babbling! We figured out that she has a sound that is similar to the question "What is that?" She is constantly pointing at things and saying tisdat? Pretty cute. And speaking of the lack of naps- Why is it that she will take 2 two hour naps for Lynda but will maybe get an hour in when she is at home with me? Arg.

I find myself constantly wanting to take pictures and capture how cute they are right now. It's like a wave of panic comes over me that they'll grow up too fast and I won't remember the details. On the other hand I don't want to miss moments because I'm scrambling to find my camera either. More reason to slow down and enjoy the details right!

And of a few things Christmas:
I love Christmas decorations. Especially vintage decorations. I could go bananas if I had the moolah! (ok, anything vintage. side note: while shopping in Eureka what did I come home with? a vintage wall clock for $12 from an antique store of all things). Last year I went to the store Vintage Holiday on 11th street and found a few treasures after Christmas including tree toppers and bulbs. Anyway, the silver tree in the pics is only 4.5ft and it is my tree that we usually put up in addition to our big green one. (it's not Blake's favorite, plus it's a little Charlie Brownish) Our big green one may not make it out of the garage at all this year. I think it's on it's last limb. So maybe we'll get a bargain after Christmas on a white tree which is Blake and I's compromise between green and silver! Of my favorite decorations this year is a ceramic tree that Blake's grandmother gave me. (pictured) I love it. I wanted to buy one at Vintage Holiday last year but couldn't afford it. Oh yes, good things do come to those who wait. Gwyn and Wilder have both loved taking the lights in and out of the holes. On my wishlist: I'm keeping my eyes out for the perfect December advent calendar. I think the kids would love one next year. Oh, and a nativity scene.

And, I'm a sucker for Christmas music. All kinds. From cheesy classics to Hymns. I've been trying to sing Oh Holy Night to Gwyn at bedtime but only know the chorus so I just keep humming the tune. So I thought I'd look up the lyrics, I'll share, what a pretty song:

O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
'Till He appeared and the soul felt His worth

The thrill of hope,
The weary world rejoices
For yonder brings a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees
Oh, hear the angel's voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night,
Oh night divine
Oh Holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Oh
Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
'Til He appeared and the soul felt His worth
The thrill of hope,
The weary world rejoices
For yonder brings a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O, hear the angel's voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night,
O night divine

The nativity just captures my imagination. How can something so simple be so tremendous? I can't wait to meet Mary in heaven. (and Jesus too of course:)

Anyway, hope everyone is getting over the colds that are going around. I thought we were in the clear but Wilder came down with the crud again yesterday, yuck.

Nite Nite!

Quality time at home!

I attempted a photo shoot today!