Ahh, calm

Today feels like the calm after a mini storm. Wilder is on the mend. I was worried last night because he was still coughing. I got in to bed with him and we both eventually fell sound asleep. The coughing magically stopped and he slept through the night. Also, yesterday I was in a wreck on my lunch hour. Not my fault, this kid turned in front of me in the intersection. Pretty hard hit but no injuries and the jeep is still driveable (after the wrecker pulled the bumper out of the wheel). Scary though, this is the second time someone has pulled out in front of me in the past year or so. What's the deal? Blake says it must be my magnetic personality, ha. I'm just glad we don't have any injuries to deal with. The worst part is this kid does NOT have insurance. We could be in for a long battle here.

BUT, today is better. Lynda came to pick up the babies so they could ride to Ada with her and get there a little sooner. (We are going to Ada tonight for Christmas with Blake's grandparents and she has the DVD player in her car). So I have a chance to deal with the tornado that hit my house and get us packed so we can get on the road. I love a quiet house. I'm enjoying peppermint tea and taking in our Christmas trees. (we decided to go ahead and put up the big green one, I'm glad we did) Taking a minute to thank God for taking care of all of us this week.
Ok, I've been tagged by both Jenny and Lita, here goes:

8 TV shows I watch.
1. Lost
2. The Office
3. 30 Rock
4. 30 minute meals
5. Barefoot Contessa
6. Wheel of Fortune
7. The news
8. College football (not willingly, subconsciously while I'm sitting next to Blake on the couch knitting)

8 Favorite Restaurants
1. Arby's (curly fries and a frosty, oh man, and the chicken salad sandwhiches yummy)
2. Lanna Thai
3. Bill & Ruth's
4. Elote (healthy mexican food downtown if you haven't tried it)
5. Wherever I can eat good spaghetti.
6. Schlotzsky's (wish we had more of these)
7. Zorba's

8 things that happened today
1. Woke up next to Wilder
2. Made malt-o-meal for both babies, something I know they'll for sure eat.
3. Made coffee for me.
4. Took IB Profeun for a fastly approaching headache.
5. Listened to the Fox and the Hound for the 103rd time.
6. Demanded no more movies and turned on music instead.
7. Danced with Wilder and Gwyn
8. Sat on the couch for a minute with my tea and pet Roy.

8 things I look forward to:
1. My shower today
2. Christmas celebrations with family tonight and next week.
3. Blake's grandmother's cooking this weekend
4. Seeing the kids faces Christmas morning when they see their giganto stuffed animals
5. Conversations with Wilder and Gwyn
6. Teaching next year
7. The future!
8. Bedtime

8 things I wish for:
1. Good health for my family
2. A housekeeper
3. New pillows, towels, sheets. Don't you think a wedding shower at 5 years is a good idea? To replace all the stuff you got 5 years ago?
4. A garden
5. More dedication to reading my Bible and spending time in prayer
6. Blake's heel to stop hurting so he can run again.
7. Me to start running again.
8. For my kids to know and love God.

I tag: Holly, Tasha, Bre, Dayna, Saundra, Kristen, Starr, and Lisa. (that pretty much covers everyone I know that hasn't been tagged and has a blog!)

Can't really think of a title

Wilder was awake from 2am to 5:30am last night coughing. Miserable. Finally after giving him the cough syrup that didn't seem to relieve him quick enough he and Blake made it to the couch for the 100th viewing of Fox and the Hound. Sitting up was the only way to get him to stop coughing. I can't believe he stayed awake for the entire movie. Probably because the cough syrup had a decongestant in it which I've learned is a stimulant. He slept for about 45 minutes this morning before he was awake again coughing. Poor baby. He's had this cold for about two weeks now and is going to the doctor TODAY. I kick myself for hesitating, maybe I could have spared us a few sleepless nights if we had taken him earlier. Last time we took him for a cough the doctor pretty much said it had to run its course and all we could do for him was give him cough syrup. That is generally the way I like to go about things since I am not a big antibiotics fan. Today I am desperate for antibiotics or something that will fix it, now. We've been giving him Benedryl, cough syrup and pain reliever for days it seems, can't be good to be on this stuff for this long. All those warnings on the cough syrup, scary.

One of the worst feelings as a mother is helplessness. If only I could make him stop coughing. All I could do last night is pray repeatedly that God would relieve him so that we all could get needed rest. Well He didn't for whatever reason.

About a week ago I went to Dr. Sears website (askdrsears.com) to figure out which cough syrup to give him and educate myself about all of the many options and came across a link to a medicine called Sinupret. It is a natural, plant based medicine that is supposed to be very safe and effective for sinus support. Very popular in Europe, gaining popularity in the U.S. I am definitely interested in talking to the doc about it and getting some for the next time colds come around. Read about it: www.binoricausa.com. There is also some good info about why alternative medicine is not really trusted by the public so much anymore.

Of course, I am frustrated that this kind of medicine is not readily available to moms. Wouldn't it have been nice to have known about it sooner? I think you have to buy it online. It's like most things alternative or naturally based (meaning you can't find them at Wal-Mart or Walgreens) you have to seek them out. Another example, why don't doctors tell you or recommend probiotics, just antibioitcs?

This stirs me to make a point about awareness. I want to encourage moms to make educated decisions. About birth, health, everything. Seriously, an alterntive approach or not, please just know what your options are! I know that we learn things through experience, that's just how life is. I have learned a lot of things the very hard way particularly through Wilder and I's birth experience. I learned that the practice of birth is treated as a fast-paced, commercialized industry in the US and lots of moms suffer the consequences like unwanted in C-Sections. Sorry if that seems a little harsh. My experience is probably why I am so cautious, paranoid, and distrusting of mainstream healthcare. I went about my pregnancy with Gwyneth so differently and had such a more positive experience. I wish I had a positive memory of Wilder's birth so badly...However, I know it made me a stronger and wiser mom so maybe that was God's plan. Yes, I have had to deal with my paranoia and let trust in God overcome my fear. I'm still working on it and probably always will as a mom.

Anyway...

Sorry about the tangent. I think if we took the time to do a little more research on our own maybe we could save ourselves at least a small percentage of heartache or regret.

I hope some of this made sense and you are able to read between the lines and make connections I'm not able to articulate. I feel better. I'm headed back to the coffee pot!

Update: Just learned that Wilder has a respiratory infection. So yes, thankful for antibiotics today.

It's a long one

I've decided lately I like being a homebody. Maybe it's just because it's a busy time of year, lots of traveling, makes me appreciate and enjoy the time we have at home. More so, because my energy level has been down for about the last month now. Not sure why exactly. Maybe hormones adjusing from weaning Gwyn, Winter, busyness, or maybe just a combination of it all. I'm having to be very realistic as to what I can accomplish and I've been surprisingly OK with lowering my expectations. Especially since I've been spending time observing in Owasso. I'm generally a people pleaser and obsess about getting little things done. Not so much these days. I can definitely attribute motherhood for helping me let go of those traits! Yay! Unfortunately, as a result, my blog is suffering from scarce updating, sorry.

Today and yesterday were good days with the babes and I. Wonderfully exhausting rather than terribly exhausting. I say that because the week leading up to yesterday and today have been difficult with Wilder. He has been emotional and very demanding. Comes with the age I suppose. Getting back into his routine this week has been good for him...he's been much nicer :) We've had lots of time to play, get our Christmas decorations out and not have to go anywhere. Even though I am physically tired from taking care of them at the same time I feel refreshed. Ready to face all that lies ahead in the next few weeks! I think I can, I think I can!

First, a few random updates.
Wildman:
-loves movies and TV right now. Current favorites are The Lion King, Fox and the Hound, and The Junglebook....not crazy about this but I'm trying to roll with it for now. He is still interested in many other activities so not seeing it as a problem at this point.
-Still refers to himself as Wilder (pronounced Wier) instead of I. Actually he doesn't use any pronouns at all.
-We are no where close to being potty trained. Still trying to be patient. He is not interested at all except for an occasional pee in the potty for an M&M about once every other day. I've been showing him big boy underwear, "see how soft these are Wilder? Wilder if you use the potty you don't have to have your diaper changed" (which he hates) "Diapers are for babies" None of it working!
-Has a love/hate relationship with his sister. Plenty of pushing down, steeling toys, kissing and hugging all in the same day.
-He is finally getting out his "just want mommy" stage, this is helpful at bedime!

Gwynny bear:
Of the two if feels like she is the one growing at rapid speed right now. Intellectually and physically. She is going to be a confident and determined young lady. Traits that I'm glad she possess, we just have our work cut out for us! Its wonderful to watch but also a bit sad for me to let go of her as a baby. I love her the size she is now, she still fits so nicely in my lap and arms. Can she please not get any bigger? She always has a smile and a kiss to give away. (she's still in her sweet stage!) She has found her independence and I think she likes it. She is way less dependent on me to fall asleep at bedtime now. Especially since we stopped nursing about 3 weeks ago.

Tonight we went to Spaghetti Warehouse (buy one get one free!). I set her up in her high chair with a plate in front of her with spaghetti and she sat there and ate it like a big girl. I guess I was overall amazed at how good she was (meaning no crying and didn't try to climb on the table) because of how tired she was. Only a 30 min nap all day. Anyway, she has to have a utensil in one hand while she eats with the opposite hand. Occasionally she would try to stab a bite with the fork but doesn't quite have the motor skills for that yet. Oh, and the babbling! We figured out that she has a sound that is similar to the question "What is that?" She is constantly pointing at things and saying tisdat? Pretty cute. And speaking of the lack of naps- Why is it that she will take 2 two hour naps for Lynda but will maybe get an hour in when she is at home with me? Arg.

I find myself constantly wanting to take pictures and capture how cute they are right now. It's like a wave of panic comes over me that they'll grow up too fast and I won't remember the details. On the other hand I don't want to miss moments because I'm scrambling to find my camera either. More reason to slow down and enjoy the details right!

And of a few things Christmas:
I love Christmas decorations. Especially vintage decorations. I could go bananas if I had the moolah! (ok, anything vintage. side note: while shopping in Eureka what did I come home with? a vintage wall clock for $12 from an antique store of all things). Last year I went to the store Vintage Holiday on 11th street and found a few treasures after Christmas including tree toppers and bulbs. Anyway, the silver tree in the pics is only 4.5ft and it is my tree that we usually put up in addition to our big green one. (it's not Blake's favorite, plus it's a little Charlie Brownish) Our big green one may not make it out of the garage at all this year. I think it's on it's last limb. So maybe we'll get a bargain after Christmas on a white tree which is Blake and I's compromise between green and silver! Of my favorite decorations this year is a ceramic tree that Blake's grandmother gave me. (pictured) I love it. I wanted to buy one at Vintage Holiday last year but couldn't afford it. Oh yes, good things do come to those who wait. Gwyn and Wilder have both loved taking the lights in and out of the holes. On my wishlist: I'm keeping my eyes out for the perfect December advent calendar. I think the kids would love one next year. Oh, and a nativity scene.

And, I'm a sucker for Christmas music. All kinds. From cheesy classics to Hymns. I've been trying to sing Oh Holy Night to Gwyn at bedtime but only know the chorus so I just keep humming the tune. So I thought I'd look up the lyrics, I'll share, what a pretty song:

O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
'Till He appeared and the soul felt His worth

The thrill of hope,
The weary world rejoices
For yonder brings a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees
Oh, hear the angel's voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night,
Oh night divine
Oh Holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Oh
Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
'Til He appeared and the soul felt His worth
The thrill of hope,
The weary world rejoices
For yonder brings a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O, hear the angel's voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night,
O night divine

The nativity just captures my imagination. How can something so simple be so tremendous? I can't wait to meet Mary in heaven. (and Jesus too of course:)

Anyway, hope everyone is getting over the colds that are going around. I thought we were in the clear but Wilder came down with the crud again yesterday, yuck.

Nite Nite!

Quality time at home!

I attempted a photo shoot today!

Eureka!

We made it back this evening from our two night stay in Eureka Springs! And we're exhausted but refreshed, is that possible?! Thank you to our awesome parents who watched the kiddos. (and my grandmother who took care of Roy!) We had lots of time to enjoy eachother's company, read, shop, rest, knit, go on a ghost tour, sight see, and eat. (we were exausted from our day of fun on Saturday, it's amazing how long the day felt). It was fun being there after Thanksgiving and seeing it all decorated for Christmas. We even woke up this morning and it was pouring down snow! Hopefully more details to come, right now all I want to do is take a bath and ease myslelf back into the real world :)

We took this photo this morning in the freezing weather. Other than being cold Blake was acting scared because of the Crescent in the background (where we took the ghost tour).

In light of Thanksgiving

Wow, hope that last post didn't seem too negative! I had a lesson in contentment on Saturday!

Some things will never change. (so get over it)

1. There will always be a sticky surface in my house. It is impossible to have complete cleanliness. Toys, bathtubs, floors, sinks, countertops,...why can't you all be clean at the same time, EVER?

2. That said, NOTHING will EVER be perfect.

3. Toddlers just don't like vegetables.

4. I will never accomplish half of what I set out or desire to do.

5. There will always be something that I want that I don't or can't have.

6. I will never have the hair that I had before I started having babies. Blond? Curly? Who was that girl? (I miss you)

BUT...I am incredibly happy and content. I love my family, my husband, my friends. I am blessed beyond measure. I love my house. (because it's mine, not because it's an 80's contemporary, Lord bless it). I love all the simple pleasures that always find a way to slip into my day.

My favorite quote of the day

said by Wilder...

"One, two, teee, ellemenopee, nine, ten"

Before I forget

A few cute things Wilder is doing right now.
1. He stops to smell EVERY flower he sees. In real life or in books. Cute, but requires a little more patience when taking walks and reading books!
2. He loves his new robe. Rather than putting on my white robe after the bath (or something pink, ahem) he has a new blue plaid robe made especially for him by his great grandmother Bernice. He has slept in it the past few nights and wore it over his clothes today out of the house.
3. He can't say the "s" sound. Some fun words, school bus = boo bah, sesame street = bebabe beet

So Refreshing!

Today I spent a full school day observing a classroom. For those of you that I haven't told there is a postition opening up next year that I am very interested in. The teacher I observed today is retiring and has been teaching for 30 years! Wow. And she is amazing. Well at least from what I could tell today. She had such poise and full control over her classroom. Her students were well behaved and respectful. It was so encouraging to be with someone who truly loves her job, how many people can really say that? And she loves her boss...wouldn't that be amazing? Can't say I've ever had that. Little side note, I had sort of a impromtu interview with the principal today that I hope was OK.

One of my concerns about entering public school (vs. something like Montesorri) is the over standardization of curriculum. All the pressure of test scores these days, geez. I was encouraged today talking to this teacher. She doesn't give tests at all and is very relaxed about how she goes about her curriculum. To find that in a public school today is rare. (She said to keep it a little hush hush because she has figured out how to work the system so she can get by without doing these things) She agreed that art is more about exploration and the experience than technical things. For example, I didn't know what the 7 elements of art were until college, now students learn it in 6th grade!

Anyway, I am really excited about the prospect of teaching. Lately my work is feeling more and more mundane which can get really mind numbing after a while. When I leave work I feel like I've wasted time and feel guilty for not being as productive as I know I can be. I figured out that I really want to feel proud of my work and I don't feel that right now. I want my kids to see that I am proud of my work. I want them to admire and respect what I do. (Not that there is anything wrong with designing ads and laying out a newspaper, there is a whole creative side that has potential to be very fulfilling that my heart is just not in).

Reasons I think being an art teacher will be fulfilling:
1. Junior High students are adorably awkward. They're still young enough that they have some innocence and naivity left. (as the teacher said today, "they're not having sex, or at least let's hope not") Also, what a fragile time for one's self-esteem and self image. Maybe I could help build some confidence here and there that will help them on down the road.
2. I really love art. The act of creating something is so fulfilling to me. I even love the smell of art supplies (we visited Blake's classroom the other night and the smell was intoxicating! Why is a huge box of thousands of crayons so enjoyable to look at? And to touch?
3. The joy of sharing this love with someone else. Today it was fun watching the students get excited when they accomplished something. Little lightbulbs coming on!
4. It will be MY classroom! The possibilities are endless, we can paint, draw, make tiles, work with clay, weave, collage, build, printmake, and the list goes on.
5. To be a rolemodel for someone else. These students today obviously respected and admired their teacher. Mrs. Collins, he, he.
6. Maybe a student will continue pursuing art after my class because they had a good experience.
7. To be on the same schedule as my kids (eventually) = the most time spent with my family as possible! Yay!

Then there's all the not-so-glamorous things like classroom management, discipline, & grades!

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself on this prospect. I've learned my lesson before with things not working out that I was sure were the "right thing." Regardless if I get this job or not I will benefit from the experience I will gain being in the classroom. Plus, if Blake and I both worked across town would our kids go to school with us or at a school closer to home where they could be plugged into their community? (not having to drive across town for sleepovers would be a good thing)

I need patience and clarity, it's going to be a long road leading up to whatever happens for me next year!
Thanks for listening!

Correction

Yes, I meant to say I am pro-life not pro-choice. Oops!

Wrestling

I voted for the charming guy today. Some of my closest friends will cheer. Some will gasp. Truth is, I'm not really sure if I made the right choice. It's easy for me to say my vote really didn't matter because I live in a red state. But it matters to me and I'm wrestling with it. I've never really been interested in politics but like most as I get older my interest grows and like most I have been swept up in this election. Blake and I voted for Obama because we felt he was best for our country, for the greater good. Because all that I know is middle class. The one reason I hestitated was the abortion issue. Is it good to be a "one issue" voter? I'm not sure. I am surely pro-life but I did not vote for the pro-choice candidate.

I read this today...after I voted. I thought it was well said.

"If we are Christians, then our spiritual citizenship is in Heaven, not in America or even on this planet. Our Christianity MUST trump our patriotism or nationalism if they come into conflict with one another. And in this election, I believe they do come in conflict. I know that many people are struggling financially and see Barack Obama as a way out perhaps, but really, are our finances more important than the sanctity of human life? Is there ANY “political” issue really more important than this one? Could there possibly be a bigger fish to fry? I say no way."

So I'll continue to wrestle. I'll continue to pray. Pray for our country, pray for our leaders, our new president, whoever he'll be. I'll pray for pregnant mothers. I'll pray they choose life. I'll support and encourage adoption in our country, in my city.

Cuteness.
My little Autumn fairy. She almost cried after I got her all dressed up.
This is Aunt Bre (Aunt B). My awesome sister-in-law who drove from Edmond on her days off to babysit two days, and who always goes out of her way to spoil my kiddos!



Yes, Halloween was fun. However, I'm left to ask, how much of what we do with our kids is for us rather than them? I enjoyed dressing up the babies, but really Wilder was so overstimulated from trick or treating that he had a major meltdown after it was all over. Probably because he hadn't had a nap that day but still, pretty confusing and a lot to take in for a two year old. Next year, he will really enjoy it. I had this feeling after Gwyn's party as well. I felt a little selfish for taking her up to the park for her party. Even though it seemed she was feeling better that day she still didn't enjoy it too much. Just a reflection, I want to make sure I am always mindful of their needs above my own personal desires.

A few more birthday pics

After Gwyn's birthday party I felt humbled by all the love and support of my family and friends. I think I always feel this way after events like this. Thank you to everyone who took time out of their busy schedule to come celebrate a little girl - and for all the wonderful presents! I just hope that I always return the sentiment when the occasion arrives!
Here is Gwyn on her actual birthday, the day before her party. Turns out she did have a virus in addition to teething. Probably should have cancelled her party.
4 generations of women!
I love Wilder's face in this one. Despite her grogginess Gwyn was all about her cake. (not that you can tell in this pic)

5 Words...

to describe me: (a challenge from Room to Grow)

1. eager
2. dreamer
3. adoring
4. mindful
5. mother

What are yours?

Yes, birthday pics are coming!

Happy First Birthday Gwynnie Bear

Today was your first birthday Gwyneth Ann. I am sad that you are not a little baby anymore but you will always be "baby girl" to me. I'm sorry you don't feel good on your birthday. You're teething and have a terrible fever. Sweet baby, it's just not fair. I've sung Happy Birthday enough times to you today, holding you, trying to get you to rest, that hopefully you understood just for a minute that there was something special about today.

Today, I've enjoyed thinking about the day you were born. About what a miracle and gift your birth was. Thank you for cooperating for your mommma!

You are delicously sweet in every way! I love your curly hair, your soft skin and your precious kisses you love to give. You are much more affectionate than your brother. Thank you for being content just being held, your brother never sat still long enough. Although sweet, we are beginning to see a little firey side in you, where did you get that temper?

Sometimes I am still in awe that I am blessed with such a beautiful baby girl. Do I really have two babies? When did that happen? I am looking forward to doing all the things a mom and daughter should do together. Oh the fun we will have!

Sweet dreams baby girl, momma loves you.

Yes, Lovely Fall Days

What a nice weekend. Well, with the exception of Friday night after we found out our car would be in the shop another week and cost twice as much as we thought. Oh well, the price you pay for buying a foreign car (right dad!). Blake had a track meet in Arkansas Saturday the kids and I went to Tulsa to visit my friend Holly and her baby Isaac in their new apartment. The weather was perfect. After seeing her apartment we walked to the park and had fun playing well, with rocks mostly. Who needs slides and fun things to climb when you can see how many rocks you can sneak in your mouth without you mom seeing? We made it back to the house and the babies were pooped so naptime wasn't too much of a struggle. I took the time to get dinner ready. I like cooking when it's not stressful. So pretty much that means no babies at my feet which doesn't happen often.

Oh man, how's this for real life blogging. I sat down at the computer about an hour ago with my tea to check blogs and update. Now that I'm updating mine all I want to do is go to sleep. Cuttin' it short tonight. So much to say...another day. Here are some pics.

Goodnight!


Wilder with his great grandpa Wilder from our trip to Texas last weekend.


Wilder and Miles! Aren't they cute? They insisted on getting in the truck at the same time.


Baby Isaac, Gwyn, and Wilder, at Holly's apartment.


She's got this walkin' thing down.


Yay for babies in pumpkin hats.

It's been a while since I sat down to blog so here goes. It's naptime so I'm defaulting to a list, it's easy and fast.

1. Gwyn slept from 8pm to 6am last night without waking up in her crib!! Yay! We're getting somewhere people! And her naps are getting longer. I haven't nursed her in 3 nights. Here's to getting my brain back!

2. I love you Wal-Mart. I hate you Wal-Mart. Because I was feeling spunky today because of the sleep we went to Wal-Mart to get some groceries. We had decided to make Wilder a cowboy for Halloween. Space cowboy actually, complete with a rocket backpack. In my mind I was thinking, how am I going to find cowboy boots, western shirt, vest, etc without having to sew or spend a fortune. As we were looking at the Halloween stuff I found a stuffed cowboy costume that has the horse that wraps around so it looks like you're riding it...not a bad idea, it's easy, I can buy it and be done with Wilder's costume. Next to the cowboy costume was an Elmo costume. (you know where it goes from here). To make a long story short the Elmo costume made it into our cart, onto Wilder, into our car and is currently in Wilder's bed taking a nap with him. Oh well, maybe space cowboy will work out next year. Maybe Gwyn will be his horse. Gwyn's costume however, is in the works. I have several colors of tulle, fairy shoes, and a headband that I will be working on myself! Can't wait.

3. Remember how I said I was going to give a review about Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. Well, here's a little life application. The book is good, emphasizes the importance of family relationships and describes boys, their personalities, the challenges they face in today's world, etc. One of the major issues today is the demasculation of boys. (I don't want to try to explain this in detail here, if you're interested, let's talk about it :) Anyway, the other night I was home by myself putting both Wilder and Gwyn to bed (not an easy task). As we were finishing the baths I'm trying to get one dressed and one out of the tub and Wilder asks to put on my robe "mommy robe, mommy robe." It's a little white robe that I've let him put on and wear until bedtime a few times. It wasn't in the bathroom...but my pink, silk, nightgown was. He wants to put it on, I think if Blake were here he'd kill me. Gwyn is getting impatient, I'm tired, so pink nightgown goes on. When I finally put him to bed he does not want to take it off to put on his PJ's so I let him sleep in it. The next morning I left for work before he was up. Blake's parents are there to take him for the day...I get an email from Blake at work asking why his father calls him to ask why his son woke up in a pink dress. You can imagine the confusion and embarrassement Blake is feeling. Especially if you know his dad. It's funny becaue Blake is reading the book right now too and we've talked about this issue of demasculation and here I go dressing him in pink satin. Not that I think that dress up here or there will ruin a boy forever but kinda funny.

4. Bible study at my house! I've been wanting to do something organized like this for a long time and it's finally in the works. I miss the times in my life that I met with friends to study, talk, and pray. We (so far my friend from church, my friend Jen, and my cousin Amy) will be meeting once a week on Wednesday for a couple of hours with our kiddos. We are going to do Beth Moore's Believing God. (I can't find the ital button so sorry for the lack of italics Holly) From what I hear, it's great. I will need grace to find the time and complete the study each week but am determined to try because I personally feel I am suffering the consequences of a weak spiritual life right now. I want to invite any of you, my family and friends to come if you want to. We're planning on daytime but if there are enough that are interested that would need an evening than maybe we can figure something out. Right now we're starting the week on the 20th or 27th. Let me know!

Ok, I'm going to work a little on Gwyn's costume before they wake up!

At least somebody likes my oatmeal.

What is it about Fall that makes you want to get creative and make stuff? To nest? I say fall, I guess it's officially Fall but geez it's still a little hot outside. I am having a hard time concentrating at work today because I can think of about 20 other things I'd rather be doing. A few, for example:

1. Try my grandmother's pumpkin bread recipe on my fridge.

2. Knit and or crochet. (I'm not sure of the exact difference, I know, I have a lot to learn) for a couple of reasons: 1) I think knitting seems less intimidating than my sewing machine. There are TONS of books on knitting at Border's. I just looked at them on my lunch hour. I want to make scarves, hats, socks, toys, blankets, anything. 2) Yesterday at my grandmother's house I found a vintage crocheted bag (soon to be my purse, oh yes, Jenny, Amy, be jealous) with some of my great grandmother Ruby's yarn and started crocheted pieces. It is very precious. I want to make use of the yarn she never used up and keep this skill in our family.

3. I need a bumper sticker that says "I'd rather be garage sale-ing" (you know, for items for potential projects or decorations, you never know what you'll find, it's the element of surprise that's so intoxicating!)

4. Work on Wilder and Gwyn's Halloween costumes. Two words: baby tutu. Can't wait, must find tulle. Currently trying to find inspiration for Wilder.

In other news...Gwyn is walking! She says "baby" and "bye bye"
There isn't much Wilder doesn't say now. He is getting more stubborn every day. He is wonderfully everything a two year old boy should be.

Thursday: The Week in Gratitude

Today I'm thankful for:

1. New days. I am thankful that Tuesday is over and Wednesday happened. I don't know who the evil woman was that possessed my body on Tuesday. I'm glad she's gone. Just a rough day all around. Seems like Wilder and I butted heads all day and I was irritated at EVERYTHING. Sometimes tiredness and hormones catch up I think. I'm ok now ;)

2. Friends. Really, what a joy to have like-minded friends to share this journey with!

3. Sibling Companionship. Wilder and Gwyn have really started entertaining each other. It's so fun to be in a different room and hear them laughing at each other. And to think we created that laughter! Well, God actually did...but you get the sentiment!

SIMPLY SUNDAYS

My friend Tasha had a fun idea for weekly blogging, I liked her ideas...if anyone would like to join in!

1. WHAT it Means to Be a Mom WEDNESDAYS: parenting happenings of the day/week

2. THANKFUL THURSDAYS: the week in gratitude

3. Who SAID it SATURDAYS: thought provoking, funny, or random quotes

4. SIMPLY SUNDAYS: the art of simple living

Today just being outside was a simple pleasure. I love fall days when the sun is warm and the breeze is cool. We sat outside on my parents deck for a long time after lunch today. We just watched the kids play and enjoyed the view. Mom even got her guitar out and played for a minute. This evening at home we went for a family walk in the neighborhood with both kiddos in the strollers. It was just fun being all together and enjoying the conversation with Blake.

I took some pics once we got home. Here is Gwyn standing on her own. Sometimes she'll take one step. No luck on getting a toothy grin. Can you believe she'll be 1 next month?

Follow Up

Thanks for all the info fellow bloggers! I've almost joined a CoOp a couple of times but haven't ever followed through. I don't know what I'm afraid of. Has anyone else (besides Dayna) tried one? Do you save money? Janet, do you take paid orders for your bread? (please)

Well I went to the Pearl Farmer's Market after work on Monday. Next week is the last week of the season. I decided I would spend $10 even though I could have spent a TON more, but that's what I had. I would have liked to have bought a loaf of bread for $5 and a jar of jam for $6. Almost twice as much as the grocery store but twice as good for you right?

For $10 I bought:
-Two tomatoes (little over a pound)
-Three porter peaches (one pound)
-One funny little white space ship-shaped squash
-One pound of fresh purple hull peas (mainly for Gwyn and Wilder). I really don't know what to do with these. I'll have to find some how-to online.
Some really tasty FREE wine samples from a Vineyard at Lake Eufala (can't think of the name right now). Counts right?

Sound reasonable?

It's just food right?

So I've started reading the book "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver. It's about food. It's pretty fascinating to me. I have to refrain myself from talking too much about it to my husband because I think he's annoyed by it, well he just doesn't find the subject matter as interesting. (That's what blogs are for right!) The book is a true story about a family that moves from Tuscon Arizona to a farm somewhere in West Virginia. Tuscon, in the dessert where NOTHING is grown locally. Their plan is for all their food to be grown by themselves or bought from somebody they know - for one year. No processed anything meaning no oranges from California or fish from the coast. Only whole, local food. The first chapter Barbara explains all her motives for the move and gives some history about agriculture in America.

So far what I've found to be though-provoking:
-It's amazing how much fossil fuel the food industry consumes. All the fuel to power the farm equipment (including all the things needed to spray pesticides) and all the fuel needed to ship produce across country.
-I never realized that 70% of farmland is corn or soybeans because they are processed and modified to make many other ingredients in our foods. Obviously things like High Fructose Corn Syrup but also a lot of the words you don't recognize on labels. While reading this I was eating some chocolate and ther it was - soybeans in my chocolate!
-How LITTLE we know about gardening and farming and how much we SHOULD know. Eventually we or our children will have to produce some or all of own food becaues the environment demands it. She gave some examples of city kids that thought potatoes grew on trees, that sort of thing.
-How bizarre it is that when we buy items from the grocery store we have no idea where they've come from.
-Organic is better you but also ALOT better for the environment.
-We should all try to shop at Farmer's Markets more often. Support local farmer's that are competing against commercialized industries.
- I long for a way of life that would allow for abundant gardening.

ANYWAY, the authour goes on about how wonderful local produce is and how extremely different and better it is from what you find in the grocery store. Last weekend while in Edmond I went to the Farmer's Market with my sister-in-law and bought some peaches. They were incredibly yummy, soft, sweet. Wilder practically ate two in a row. We bought some peaches from WalMart recently that didn't even seem real compared to the others. A foamy, grainy texture, really kind of fake in comparison.

How is it possible to really change the way we eat? Who has the time and money to eat local and whole food? I guess we just do the best we can. When I do have the chance to go to the farmer's market I usually am surprised how affordable they are. This week we got the new Kraft magazine in the mail. I have a love/hate relationship with this magazine. I love it because the recipes are easy and affordable but the meals always start to taste the same because there are bout 10 ingredients that are used in different combinations over and over again. Tonight's dinner consisited of canned tomatoes, stovetop, cheese, and chicken. Nothing fresh...well, we did have a little salad from lettuce that may have been in the fridge a little too long. I would have loved to go buy some fresh produce today at a market but we were out of cash really until I get payed again. The point here, it's not always easy to eat the way you want. It's not easy because I'm not organized enough! And I'm not the best at meal planning. Tongiht I also threw out a TON of leftovers from this past week. I usually think in my mind that we can't afford the healthier food I'd like to buy...but I waste so much, why not buy less higher quality food, wouldn't that amount to the same? Then the second thing that gets me is time. Stovetop is easy. I know there are quick ways to make healthy meals, I just need the right cookbook and a little more motivation!

Well this has turned out to be long. Don't really know if I've been very clear but it feels good to share! Read the book!

Next up, my review on "Bringing Up Boys" by James Dobson.

Meet Rib

Up until about a week ago Wilder never really showed too much interest in his many stuffed animals. For some reason, he has selected his green frog as his new buddy. I must admit, it's pretty cute. We've named him ribbit which has been shortened to Rib. Rib now eats with Wilder, sits on the little potty while Wilder sits on the big one, helps Wilder with chores, let's Wilder bury him in blankets then jump on him, rides toys, etc. Rarely have I seen him recently without Rib tucked under his arm. Yesterday when we were leaving Wilder was talking in the backseat and I realized he was asking for Rib. "Sorry honey, Ribs at home." It broke his little heart, luckily the crying didn't last long and he got over it quickly. I hope it doesn't get to the point that we need some extra Ribs around. I do know that Rib desperately needs a bath. Wilder got a haircut tonight - doesn't he look big!

In Gwyneth's world she is standing on her own quite a bit. I'm excited for her to walk soon. She's getting silly! She loves to throw herself around on the bed and bury her head into Wilder's stuffed animals. She has the cutest little grin (picture coming) where she wrinkles her nose and shows off her two partial front teeth. And she loves her momma.

Tonight was a McDonald night. I was...I mean am suffering from sleep deprivation this week and just couldn't muster up the energy to to an evening alone without Blake. Knowing Blake was meeting me at work with the babies then going to mow I called my dad to meet us at McDonalds. It worked out great. The one in Sand Springs has a great play area. Both Wilder and Gwyn had a great time playing. Gwyn actually climbed up the baby slide for the first time. Dinner was not so great but definitely worth sacrificing the nutrition for the conveinence. I don't know, Wilder loved dipping his apples in ketchup. Fruit and veggie in one right?

• On Saturday I went with my friend Holly to a new group forming in Tulsa for C-Section and VBAC support. I decided to go thinking it would be nice to share my story and offer encouragement to anyone who is considering a VBAC after a C-Section. I know when I was frantically considering this option at the end of my pregnancy I would have LOVED to know about such a resource. The sad truth is there are way too many C-Sections being performed today and secondly not really enough support for VBAC's. (Vaginal Birth after CSection). So, if there is anyone out there that would like more info, please let me know!

• An idea. For a long time now I've been interested in finding or forming a Bible study group with a small group of women. Reminiscent of the groups I participated in my college years and even newly married when Blake and lived in OKC. I came up with this idea after talking with my aunt Janet about Christian fiction. She has read a lot of it, enough to know what's
good and not so good. What if the group was a book club/Bible study group. For me, something less academic sounds appealing to my tired and busy self. Reading a novel seems more appealing than question-answer-fill-in-the-blank type of studying. From what I gather, a lot of the Christian novels are modern day retellings of books in the Bible. The group could read the book in the Bible in accordance with the novel as well. I don't know, I've always wanted to join a book club...this seems like a good way to get combine fellowship with the encouragement and edification I know I'll get from studying the Word. Anyone interested? Thoughts? (Janet :))

I know some are having problems leaving comments. I haven't really had time to figure out why. Feel free to send me an email if you want to! shelly@bloomstudio.net

Wilder is 2!

We had a blast celebrating his birthday last weekend. He is getting smarter every day it seems. He definitely is keeping me on my toes these days.
He likes:
books, rocks, water, big trucks, firetrucks, beans, fruit, elmo, any toy that Gwyn has, outside, dressing himself if he's in the mood, puzzles, repeating anything you say, colors, animals, helping in the kitchen, sweeping or helping with any household chore, coloring, Roy, hugs and kisses, Gwyneth, sitting on the potty, basketball, little girls, nana, pappy, grandma, grandpa

he does not like:
sitting on the potty, getting dressed, sharing, having his hair washed, coming inside, hugs and kisses, the windows down in the car, Gwyneth, when Roy goes outside, water (to drink), brushing his teeth

Sweet Wilder, I adore you in every way! My how we've grown in two years!

For Sarah

Let's move on from such silliness 'eh?

First, why will Wilder use the potty for Blake's mom but not for me?

I've been tagged again by Tasha. 10 things I want to accomplish in life:
1. I want to help my kids get to heaven.
2. Keep my faith active for my entire life, make it stronger, and be more open to sharing it with others.
3. To be my own boss and have an actual art business. I would love to have a studio that has a store front in it. Perhaps in downtown Sand Springs?
4. Plant, Grow, and maintain a garden with vegetables, flowers, and herbs.
5. Learn to sew. I don't want this skill to stop with me. All the women in my family before me have sewn. I love quilts too much not to learn. And I have a brand new sewing machine yet to be used.
6. Drive across country with my family. I've never been West at all so I'd like to start in Oklahoma, see everything along the way, and end up in California.
7. To overcome fear with trust.
8. Learn how to make my grandmother's zuchinni bread and pumpkin bread and a pot of beans like my dad.
9. To be content in all things.
10. For Blake and I to build the house of our dreams. Completely green and "off the grid."

Please Don't Think I'm Crazy

I figured my blog was a good place to write this down. I always think of things I want then when Christmas and Birthday's roll around I forget. So for now:

- I want a birdbath for my yard.

-A kitchen towel calendar for the year 2009. I wasn't aware that they still made these. I've always liked them when I see them in resale shops. I bought one today from 1966 that I thought was pretty. It says Health is Wealth. I learned that I can actually use it in 2011! My first one, could be another unofficial thing to collect. We'll see. Let's start with 2009.

Good Story

There is a great story this week in our paper about Steve Whitaker. He is the director of the John 3:16 Mission here in downtown Tulsa. I thought it was inspiring. Check it out if you have a minute! www.urbantulsa.com.

Today has been super. It started with everyone getting a much needed good night of sleep last night. Gwyn did much better, I don't know if it was out of sheer exhaustion or some new things I tried. Blake's parents took Gwyn and Wilder to an out of town family reunion so we had the whole day to ourselves. I cleaned, worked a little on my mosaic, talked to an old friend, and played with my plants - bought a new one and repotted some old ones. I had intentions of staying home all day and doing things around the house but Blake insisted on taking me on a date...um, ok! I've been complaining about wanting Asian food, particularly curry so we went to Pei Wei then to the movies. We saw Batman, it was so good! We even went for a walk this evening and enjoyed the cool air. We enjoyed our time but I'm glad the babies are home safe in their beds!

I've been tagged by my friend Tasha (mommy notes) so here goes:

10 things you may not known about me:

1. I almost joined the Peace Corps after college. I was convinced I wanted to go to Africa. I did all the steps up to the interview. I drove to Dallas to the PC headquarters, had the interview and watched videos of volunteers onsite and realized it wasn't for me. I cried a lot during that drive home.
2. On the night Blake proposed I got really sick from the food we ate at the restaurant. He ended up proposing about 3 hours later than he had planned at a completely different location. The whole story is better.
3. I was a surfer in another life. Ok, not really but I did watch Blue Crush more times than I'd like to admit and I did try surfing in Florida.
4. I've played softball, been a member of the high school dance team, once had a green belt in Taekwondo, ran cross country and track, and ran a marathon.
5. I unofficially collect fridge magnets, aprons, dishes, and vintage jewelry. These are a few of my favorite things!
6. I guess I went through a somewhat wild streak after college. Did the whole club/party scene. It was short lived. I smoked for about a year.
7. We named Wilder after Blake's grandfather. If Gwyn was a boy we were going to name her Owen. We changed the O to a G and got Gwyn. I said "ok, we can name here Gwyn if her name is Gwyneth.
8. I went to Europe for two weeks after high school with my French teacher and classmates.
9. I've been baptized twice.
10. My dresser drawers and closet are extremely unorganized. There is no order whatsoever.

How random!

Mama Ain't Happy

Every two hours we were up with Gwyn last night. Her sleep routine is getting WORSE not better. I need some suggestions people! How do you teach a baby to be a self-soother and put herself back to sleep without just letting her cry it out? When she wakes up she stands at the end of her crib and cries until we open the door. Blake walked in once and gently put her back down and she went to sleep immediately. With me it usually takes nursing before she'll go back to sleep, sometimes quickly, sometimes not. I really can't take the fact lightly that we are responsible for her emotional health as well as her physical. I don't want her to be stressed out at night. This morning I put her in her crib to play while I took a shower for work and she screamed her face off the entire time. When I picked her up you should have seen the look on her face like "what the hell mamma, why did you abandon me?" (excuse the language, seemed fitting). I want to be compassionate but do realize we've got to start some kind of conditioning because morning like this aren't fun. (very unhappy daddy too) I know this will probably just work itself out, it has in the past. I'm praying for wisdom and patience. So, in the meantime I'm going to try to get my head inside this cup of coffee and figure out how to function efficiently at work for 8 hours today!

Because lists are fun

Some fun things that Gwyn and Wilder are doing right now:

-Wilder is repeating everything I say including things like "oh my"...frequently heard while changing his dirty diapers.
-Gwyn is moving her feet and starting to get brave and let go of things!
-Wilder says no to any question you ask him.
-Gwyn is constantly jabbering and half of what she says she says with her mouth closed. Interesting.
-Wilder walked Roy all the way home from the park today.
-Gwyn's favorite food are strawberries.
-Wilder still prefers juice over milk.
-Gwyn has started doing a fluttering hand wave when she sees someone enter the room.
-Wilder proved today that a cardboard box is really all a kid needs for endless fun.
-Gywn isn't interested in any toy until Wilder is playing with it. She gets firey mad when something is taken away from her.
-Wilder's world is quickly being categorized in to big and little...big this and little that.

Early morning. 5:50. Gwyneth is already taking her first nap and Wilder is still sleeping. I've already had coffee so no nap for me. I should be taking a shower or cleaning up yesterday's messes, but no, I'm here, playing with my blog. Oh well.

• I thought I would take a second to show some love and appreciation to the library! I know, I'm a nerd. Yes, the Tulsa library system. I love you library for your unlimited free resources, for your air conditioned play space for Wilder, for letting me check out books when I still have library books at home. Thank you library, don't go away.

• This is something I've wanted to mention for a while. A few weeks ago when Blake and I were having a conversation about fears. (We were discussing my current concern about the toxicity in plastics...I'm over it now and am again washing my plastics in the dishwasher. I mean, who really has time to handwash all those sippy cups and plastic bowls?) In response to my concerns about things that you can't actually see he told me about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch as an example of something that actually concerns him. I had no idea it existed, which I assume most people don't. It troubles me and motivates me to use less plastic and recycle what I do use. I read this in the monthly newsletter from the Holistic Mom's Network. Read on...Sad huh?

The world’s garbage patch! National News: An Eco Nightmare! “Much of our waste today is made of plastic that does not break down. This waste accumulates in swirling seas of debris, where plastic to sea life ratios are 6:1; where birds and mammals are dying of starvation and dehydration with bellies full of plastics; and fish are ingesting toxins at such a rate that soon they will no longer be safe to eat. The largest of these garbage swills is known as the Pacific Gyre, or: The Great Garbage Patch. It is roughly the size of Texas, containing approximately 3.5 million tons of trash. Shoes, toys, bags, pacifiers, wrappers, toothbrushes, and bottles too numerous to count are only part of what can be found in this accidental dump floating midway between Hawaii and San Francisco. Amazingly, there is no effort underway to clean the mess.“ {Source: The Great Garbage Patch.org}

This and That

I've started giving Gwyn and Wilder their bath together now that she's big enough. Saves water and time! The bubbles are a fairly new thing, they get excited about them. If I could only keep Gwyn from eating them, can't be healthy.

I started two new pieces of art today! Watch out world!

What is everyone listening to these days? I still have birthday itunes money that I haven't spent and I have no idea what to buy. I did buy one album, Amos Lee, Supply and Demand, good stuff, I highly recommed it. Very easy to listen to and very soulful. Any new ideas?

For any readers that aren't in the family circle, check out my cousin's blog 24/7mom. She tells a good story of almost being robbed while she was home - good to think about what you would do in a current situation.

It's going to be 106 degrees this week. YUCK!

Don't blog angry!

Everyone is ok now, don't worry. I didn't let her cry too long, went in and rubbed her feet and hair until she fell asleep.

End of My Rope

I am currently letting my daughter cry herself to sleep for the first time. I'm done tonight, I have nothing left to give. I am so tired I don't even care, how's that for honesty? I really am not a big fan of this but we have to start somewhere.

Oh Lord, help us all!

Books

I just finished reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. A friend gave it to me. It is a Christian fiction about a woman raised in prostitution in the 1850's. It is a retelling of the book of Hosea. I had only read one Christian fiction prior to this one and couldn't finish it was so bad. This one was better. I don't think the writing was excellent in Redeeming Love but a good story. Edifiying and a good escape.

I'm excited to start to read Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. Thanks Jessica for lending me your copy.

I want to read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. A came across Kingsolver randomly in a bookstore. Blake and I were leaving for our honeymoon and were finding books for the plane. (Kingsolver is right by Stephen King, Blake's favorite). I got lucky because I LOVE HER and have since read a lot of her books including Animal Dreams, The Bean Trees, and The Poisonwood Bible. She writes a lot about family and environmental issues. Check out her site: www.kingsolver.com. Anyway, her new book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle is "the story of a year in which we made every attempt to feed ourselves animals and vegetables whose provenance we really knew . . . and of how our family was changed by our first year of deliberately eating food produced from the same place where we worked, went to school, loved our neighbors, drank the water, and breathed the air."

I want to read this book but am afraid of the impact it may have on me. I may never want to shop in a grocery store again! Maybe it will at least inspire me to get a garden going.


Life's a Beach

Well summer is winding down as this week is Blake's last week before returning to school. I wish this meant the heat was going with it. We managed to have some summer fun this week and packed up the kids and drove to the "beach" at Skiatook lake. We had a nice time but "oh real beach vacation where are you when I need you?"

I'm so tired right now I'm a bit delirious and am currently inhaling a box of Junior Mints. Yummy. (Yes, the big movie size). The babies have been VERY needy this week. Smothered is a good word to describe how I've felt today. Gwyn won't let me out of her sight and Wilder isn't far behind. I think Gwyn must be teething because her nights have been hard. She also isn't a self-soother yet so once she's awake it's hard to get her back to sleep without laying down with her. I actually like the cuddle time but am just tired of going back and forth between two beds. Of the 1000 things I could think of to do this afternoon I think maybe 3 of them got done because my sweet daughter refused to take a nap [Kaci, your clothes are coming I promise]. However, I'm not complaining, we've had fun playing this weekend. Overall our weekend was good. We spent some fun time with my cousin's family (24/7 mom to the right) Friday night. Saturday we dropped the babies off with grandma and grandpa and ran errands baby free.

One of our errands was a trip to the 51st market by our house. A super flea market! I could have spent so much money on things I absolutely do not need. It was confirmed once again that this is one of my favorite things to do - rummage. I was on the hunt for potential craft projects and found two frames that I can mosaic. I have decided to try to participate in a craft show in October. I think this is a good goal to get me started working. I want to start making and selling artwork again.

"Really sis, this will be fun. Just hold on tight."

The girls at Kelly's wedding. (commentary coming)

Why my dad rulz

My dad recently completed 28 years working for Ford Glass. 28 years people! How many of us from my generation will be able to say that? The Tulsa Ford Glass plant was bought out so dad got his retirement a few years early. I thought it was pretty rude that he only received a few days notice for his final day. The reason for this post is to let him and everyone else know how proud of him I am...and thankful. You, dad, have set an example for all of us for what hard work looks like. You are truly the hardest working person I know. (Anyone who has seen his lawn would have to agree.) I am thankful for everything that was provided for me through your hard work. I hope you feel appreciated and honored for your committment to your job.

When we were young dad worked the night shift a lot. Dennis and I would come home from school and dad would be sleeping. We would try to be quiet but always couldn't wait for him to wake up. I don't know how much sleep he actually got, not much I'm sure. Usually as soon as he got up we would head to softball or baseball practice (he coached little league forever). He had to be tired! Having children of your own definitely makes you realize and appreciate even more how much your parents did (do) for you!

Thanks dad! I love you!
(pics are of dad and Wilder and he and I swimming at the lake)

Full Day

Today I took both Wilder and Gwyn to a work related lunch at Full Moon Cafe. My friend who once worked at Urban Tulsa was visiting from Arizona. I don't usually like to take both babies by myself but I was feeling energetic. Wilder made it about 10 minutes before he was ready to go or at least get out of his chair but still, a successfull and enjoyable time. Afterwards we went to the park with Tasha and Miles (her 1 year old). Tasha and I attempted to have as much conversation as possible between "get those rocks out of your mouth" and "don't throw rocks." When it was time to go Gwyn was tired and hungry so I nursed her in the car before we headed home. I drove away and left her stroller right there on the curb! I realized it about two hours later. Luckily, Blake's mom was at the house so I was able to jump in the car and go after it. As I pulled up to the park someone was getting ready to put it in their trunk! I yelled "that's my stroller!" I made it in the nick of time. So, to all you newer mothers - no, mom brain does NOT go away, sorry.

Two things that make a mom's day:
1. Wilder peed in the potty.
Tonight I asked Wilder if he had poo poo in his diaper and shook his head yes, grabbed a changing mat from Gwyn's room, carried it to his, climbed up on top of his changing table, handed me a wipe, and said "help." I think this probably means he's ready. I guess I had mentioned it a while ago on the blog but soon gave up after I realized he wasn't ready. Anyway, after I, I mean "we," cleaned him up he was acting like he needed to go so we walked into the potty, sat down, and he did some business. I don't know if it was on purpose or not but I made a big deal anyway. Maybe too much info here but I'd like to hear strategies and tips if anyone has them.
2.A big slobbery kiss from my 8 month old daughter.
Tonight after I nursed Gwyn I had to change her diaper so she was awake. (usually she falls asleep and I put her in bed). I was holding her and rocking her trying to get her to go back to sleep and she lifted her head up off my shoulder and stared me in the face. Then she leaned forward and gave me a big, long kiss on the mouth. It was precious. I'm always kissing her but this was so intentional and sweet. She loves her momma!

Let the music play!

I love my new ipod. I had forgotten how much I love music. I just haven't made time to really listen to it in the past couple of years. We listen to it all day at work but I never really contribute to the selection. I love how music can make you feel specific things and it always lightens the mood. I am amazed by musically gifted people. I have $30 to itunes burning a whole in my pocket. I haven't bought music in so long I don't know how I'll decide. Suggestions anyone? And speaking of music, Wilder has a new love of dancing. It's so fun. We currently have Jack Johnson's soundtrack to Curious George in our stereo. He'll point to it and say "De, De". When the music starts he goes crazy! Basically his moves consist of spinning around in circles until he falls down from dizziness.

Also on a music note (ha)...we watched the movie "August Rush" this past Friday night. Have you seen it? Oh my goodness - loved it. Any mom has to love it. Of course it is over the top and unbelievable but so beautiful and touching. If you haven't heard the movie is about a kid who is a musical prodigy that gets separated from his parents at birth and is on a quest to find them. So there, watch it if you haven't. In the meantime, you might get a good laugh from Blake's review below:

"My lovely wife and I just completed a Friday night viewing of “August Rush.” Now, while my wife was quick to put this film into her ever-changing top ten, I chose to gather my thoughts about what I had just witnessed across our small screen. I couldn’t help but notice that “August Rush” had more than a few similarities with one of my favorite movies, “Elf.” Each movie starred a strange character lost in big city of New York; August Rush and Buddy the Elf. Each character featured vast height differences from those around him, one extra tall, one extra less tall. Both came to the city in search of their “real” family. Both characters were hit by cars at one point. August was chastised by the other boys in the boarding home, Buddy chastised by the Elves in the North Pole. Buddy decorated his Dad’s apartment with paper snowflakes; August filled a church office with a quickly written symphony. August got in a fight with a man named Wizard, Buddy was a wizard in a snowball fight. In the emotion-filled climaxes of each movie, the main character found what they were looking for in Central Park; Buddy found Santa and August found a cellist for a mom and fat-lipped Irish man who claimed to be his father. These similarities are astounding. So, should you spend valuable time watching either of these movies? Well, let me just say one movie was absolutely retarded and the other one had a grown man wearing tights and shoes with bells on the tips. Go with the tights."

Road trips are good

I had a great time in Oklahoma City last Saturday. I think road trips are healthy! Lots of time to think and reflect on the road, sort of self-defining time I suppose. As my friend Tasha agreed today, the absolute best thing about going away is returning! It's hard to leave but it's so sweet to come home. Jolyn, Gwyn, and I spent the afternoon shopping around OKC. This photo was taken in a little shop in the Paseo with lots of vintage hats. So girly! We had a nice dinner that evening at Jolyn's house then stayed up late watching movies. Gwyn actually slept great for not being in her own bed. Thanks Jolyn and Corey for being so hospitable!

• Wilder, sweet Wilder. Your 2nd birthday is quickly approaching. Seems like you are growing at rapid speed right now. I love tucking you in your big boy bed, I could cuddle with you for hours! You are saying several more words, a few of my favorites:
peas (please)
tank ew (thank you)
da da (quack quack)
a-me (amen)
Ro (Roy)
Nanny (Nana)
Mummee! (Mommy)

• Weekend Away. Gwyn and I are driving to OKC on Saturday morning to see my friend Jolyn. I'm looking forward to it but I also know it will be strange not being home Saturday night with my boys.

• Job Update. Well it looks like the Riverfield job is not working out. The teacher that was supposed to be resigning is still making up his mind as to what he wants to do. The principal said it might be July before they figure out what they're doing and she might just give art to another teacher and split it with another subject. I'm a little disapointed but I'm OK. I haven't given up on teaching for the fall but waiting one more year may not be such a bad thing. I like my part time schedule right now. Right now while the babies are still so young. If I wait I can take some of the required classes that I need to take this fall and possibly apply for the Owasso job that we know is opening up next year. My current job isn't the most fulfilling, but it's comfortable. My babies are what is fulfilling to me right now.

• Big girl. We moved Gwyn's crib from our room to hers. It is working out nicely so far. She is sleeping 3 hours longer in the morning! Yay!

Tonight I had the energy to really clean the kitchen after dinner. I'm honest, this doesn't happen every night much to my regret in the morning. But tonight, I put on gloves and went to town. Wouldn't it be nice if we could bottle energy? Or should I say motivation. Anyone have any ideas on how to go about that? I have a lot to catch up on tonight...since my last post a lot has happened!

1. OLD FASHIONED TENT MEETING. Our church rented a tent and held daily worship services in a public area in Mannford for a week. We managed to make it out Thursday evening. There is just something about worship outside. Actually, we had our Sunday service in the tent so we made it twice. Being outside I was immediately taken back to those hot evenings on mission trips in Central America several years ago. I enjoyed the experience as it was the most connected I've felt in a long time at church.

2. I'm 30. Well it wasn't as scary as I thought. I told Blake all I really wanted for my birthday was an endless amount of sleep. (Must mean I'm getting older huh?) My birthday celebration started on Thursday, I went to lunch with the girls from work and my friends Tasha and Holly. Thank you for the lunch, the sweet cards, and chocolate girls!
Friday I left work early at 3. Blake arranged for mom and dad to watch the babies for the evening. Blake surprised me and took me to a restaurant called The Local Table on Brookside. An upscale restaurant that orders all of it's food locally. So you get a fresher, healthier meal I suppose. He said it would appeal to "my natural side." Actually, that was the hint he gave so I had already figured it out before we got to the restaurant. Our meals were good and we enjoyed the peace and quiet. Afterwards we met Chris and Jenn for coffee and dessert on Cherry Street. Jenn was sweet and brought me a bottle of wine. We had fun. Blake got me a gift certificate to Dwelling Spaces, one of my favorite stores, he tried shopping with both babies and finally gave in to the gc - just as well by me!! I almost forgot the beautiful orange roses and matching card, doesn't he have good taste! I also got some very nice phone calls, cards, and gifts (including an ipod - yes, finally). Thanks everyone!



Of course, I felt the need for reflection, it being a big birthday and all. What have I gained? Resolutions? Birthday wishes? Well of course I have so much to be thankful for so I definitely felt good about that. Change? Well, I'd like to be more like my husband. As Blake says, I overthink and he underthinks! Really, he always accuses me of worrying too much, of stressing over problems that aren't even here yet. He says only 5% of what people worry about is worth worrying about. I'm sure he read that somewhere on his MSN homepage, but probably true. For me to really be able to let go and not overthink I really need to be able to trust God. What a big and easy thing to say, I want to work on making this more of a reality in my everyday life, not just saying it. Easier said than done.

3. Family Reunion. Check out Jenny's blog (Lusty Family) for our group pic and a great commentary! I checked in on papa tonight and he is doing a ton better!


4. Oh Sister. When we took Gwyn to get her picture made two weeks ago she could barely sit up. Now, for the last week she has been sitting tall, crawling, and pulling up. Crazy! She is making some major transitions right now as well with her daddy and I. She likes constant attention and as we all know that is not always possible. Especially with a toddler. Today I was reading on another mom's blog about her feelings after a second baby. She felt sad that she couldn't give the second one the undivided attention she gave the first. This is just an unfortunate, fact of life I suppose! It's a fact but it's really hard. As a mom I want to give equal love and attention to both of my babies. It will get easier the older they get but Lord have mercy in the meantime!


5. Happy Father's Day to all the dad's in my life!